altering my wedding dress and other wedding questions?

Question

ok my mom gave me her wedding dress which was my grandmas we pass it down but i dont like above the chest and the sleeves and the bow that holds the train cas i still get it alterd or would it look bad..also its been in the closet for awhile will the dry cleaner b able to get the yellows out?..also we and my soon to be hubby is paying for the wedding. but im not sure wat all will we have to pay for? will we pay for the brides maids dresses n the grooms mens tuxes? wat bout flower girl dress?...and were gettin married april 19th 2008 when should the invations be sent out.. and if his mother trys to put her 2 cents in would it be rude of me to tell her its our day and shut up? thanks for any help i can get or anything i maybe need help with that you all might know THANKS!

Answer 1

cleaners can't always get yellow stains out, so take care of that early, like now. if they come out, good. talk to a tailor about what you want to do with the dress. if they don't come out, then you'll have to get a new dress--explain to mom and grandma gently--you're staring a new dress to pass down.

your bridesmaids and groomsmen pay for their dresses/tuxes--you guys buy them each gifts (traditionally given at the rehearsal dinner). flower girl's mom/dad pay for her dress, you get flower girl gift. invites should go out 3 months before the wedding. april is a busy month. send save the dates 6 months in advance.

weddingchannel.com has great tips and you can even make a wedding website. i've found this site to be more useful with planning than theknot.com.

oh--don't be rude to the mom. feel free to be honest, but don't be a bitc*h. it will come back to bite you and in essence, you're marrying her too. you never mess with a man's mama, no matter what!

good luck--feel free to email me if you have any more questions.

Answer 2

It might be possible to alter your train. You could add on to it's length with additional fabric. If the original train is plain bridal satin, I would use that fabric. Since the fabric will have a seam where you attached it - and probably won't be just exactly the same shade, you could use a lace overlay on the added section or several bands of lace across the seam-line. If the original fabric is beaded, you will not be able to find additional beaded fabric. I would just use lace covered satin. I would definitely not mess with the beading. Accept the zippered closure style as it is. No one, and I mean no one, will notice the closure. They will notice the general style and fabric of your dress, your radiant smile, perhaps your veil, but not minute little details like the closure of your dress. Think about it...what do you remember about the wedding dresses of the weddings you attended over the past few years? Would you remember which ones had zippers in the back? Go for the longer train and congratulate yourself for picking up a great bargain!

Answer 3

I've heard the yellows don't come out, but you should take it first to a seamstress to see if it can be altered to your tastes, and then to dry cleaner that specializes in wedding dresses to see what can be done with the stains. Usually the attendants (bridesmaids, flower girls, etc.) pay for their own dresses. You buy them gifts to give them at the rehearsal dinner.

Go get a good wedding planning book. I think the small cost of that will help you save money in the long run!

Answer 4

Drycleaners can do wonders, depends upon the fabric and condition of the dress. Either ask at a bridal shop, or check around to find a seamstress who has experience working with wedding dresses, and she would be able to let you know the possitibilities of altering the dress.
No, you don't have to pay for your attendants' clothes, just make sure you aren't choosing anything expensive.
Don't EVER dis your mother-in-law - she raised the man you love and are going to marry! Accept her suggestions gracefully and respectfully, and allow her to help out with some things.
Invitations are sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding. You would find out from the caterer the last date she needs to know the final numbers for the dinner, then you backtrack a few days from that to determine your RSVP date, in case you have to phone people who didn't respond.
Wishing you lots of luck!

Answer 5

1. The dress: If you really don't like it, you don't have to wear it at all. If you decide to wear it, take it to the cleaners first to see if all of the yellow comes out. If you decide to wear it for sentimental reasons, a good seamstress can make it turn out the way you want it to look.

2. Paying for the wedding: How big the wedding is depends upon how much you are going to be paying out and what you are going to be paying for. As far as the bridesmaids and wedding party (flower girl, bridesmaid, etc.) it is usual now for them to pay for their clothing. Find out if they can afford it first. You will be buying all the flowers, paying the Pastor and everything for the reception.

3. His mother: Yes it would be rude to tell her to shut up. You can politely tell her, when she offers advice, that you and your fiance decided to do it differently.

You are smart to start now. Time is getting short. I would take that dress to the cleaners right away so you can make your decision on whether to wear it or not.

Good luck and best wishes on your upcoming wedding.

Answer 6

Wow, you do need help. As far as the wedding dress goes, take it to the cleaners first and see if they can get it white again. Then take it to the alteration person and see if it can be altered to your liking, if not. preserve it as best you can for maybe another member of hte family and get a new dress. You do not buy the brides maids dresses or flower girls... they buy their own. Tuxes are rended by the groomsmen and ushers. The groom pays for the bridal bouquet and flowers for mothers, you pay for the rest of the flowers. He pays for the minister, you pay for the church and organist. You pay for the reception and he pays for the honey moon and then for the rest of his life. Invitations go out 6 weeks before the wedding. Any other questions, e-mail me directly at [e-mail]

Answer 7

Get the dress cleaned ASAP. Find a good seamstress for alterations. Usually the attendants pay for their clothes. Invites should go out at least 8 weeks before the wedding.

I wouldn't tell your future mother-in-law to "shut-up", ever. She's going to be around for a long time. Maybe she'll have some good ideas and suggestions.

Answer 8

If you go to a professional seamstress they can certainly alter the dress for you and re-style the parts you don't like.The cleaners may be able to get the yellow out but I wouldn't worry about that.After all,it is a vintage dress and will be lovely.I would be very proud to wear it,yellow or not.
You don't pay for the bridesmaids dresses,they pay for their own and likewise the flower girl.It's up to her parents to pay for that.The groomsmen pay for their own tux's also.
Invitations are usually sent out about 6 weeks ahead of time so people can make plans to attend.
It would be very rude of you to tell his mother to butt out or shut up!!! You wouldn't be getting off to a very good start with your mother-in-law.You have to respect that she is his mother no matter what. and will want to be involved with your plans.She has a right to that.Explain nicely if you disagree with her or she with you.There is no need to be rude.
I would expect your future husband would not be too proud of you for being rude to his mother.Likewise, you wouldn't want your own mother to be treated that way either.
Remember one day you may also be a mother-in-law.Keep that in mind for future reference.
Have a wonderful wedding and Good Luck.

Answer 9

I can't add anything to the answers from #1 & 2. Especially: ""I wouldn't tell your future mother-in-law to "shut-up", ever. She's going to be around for a long time. Maybe she'll have some good ideas and suggestions.""

And I paid for my bridesmaids dresses. I would never expect someone to pay for my wedding!!

Answer 10

Go to the library and get "Weddings for Dummies". That book can help you out with most of those questions. As far as updating your mother's old wedding dress, find an experienced seamstress. She may be able to alter it to your tastes.