How do you get over the feeling that you are missing out on something in life?

Question

I have started meeting more single or divorced friends. I am divorced and my daughter is 15. She lives with her Dad in another state.

I feel that I should not be doing this in my life at this time. I should be giving my daughter time and attention.

When I see other families together, it feels awkward for me to be alone doing things. My life is off track and not normal. I keep imagining what it would have been like if my mariage had worked out and my child was with both parents.

Moving to the state where my child and ex-husband live may be an option. Yet, they (he and his mother) do not want or let me stay alone. They persuade me to come back and live in the house with them.

I feel like I have failed as a person in life. We come to procreate and pass on things to the next generation. I was not able to influence my daughter and help her to succeed in High School.

This makes me feel bad and sad. I am alone and have ruined their lives by leaving.

Answer 1

I feel for you, I am in a similar situation myself. I gave my son to his dad after he begged me to, then went on to school and work, now I am remarried and not happy in this relationship either, currenly I am seeking work in other states just to get out of this marriage (There are NOT any jobs available here for me in my major unfortunately)
I would leave behind my son, my adult daughter and her 2 kids if I moved.
I feel I am stuck in a vicious circle of unhappiness and have not choice BUT to take the first job I get offered no matter where it is, just so I can support myself again.
The mom guilt factor is a tough thing isn't it? IF you have your life together and want to be closer to your daughter (distance wise) and are able to move closer, by all means do it.
You have to ask yourself if you are ready to parent her again and have the time to do so first.
I wish you good sense in deciding what to do.

Answer 2

ok
coming from a daughter whose mother hasnt been in her life for the past 7 years(im 17 btw)
look
you DO have a choice to be in your daughters life
you may ask why are you alone in such, but your daughter should be a major thing in your life! and if you dont make an effort to be around her and watch her grow she'll hate you for it.
now i know were in two different situations cuz my mom chooses not to see me even after ive requested to spend time with her, but still
itll affect her and probably give her some mental issues. and if your husband is saying stuff to try and get you to be with your child then god damn it, why arent you taking this opportunity?
i here you saying oh how your life is so bad and oh poor you, but what the hell are you doing about it?
nothing.
your doing nothing.
so stop taking in the liquor or whatever and do something.
join some clubs or something to get you more socially involved with ppl and then maybe setting yourself up to find that special someone, and for god sakes. please. im begging you as a fellow daughter. please have some communication with your daughter. if you dont she'll graduate and move on with her life and dreadfully hate you. and youll hate yourself for that

hope this helps.
i wasnt trying to be cruel.
just trying to knock some sense into you.

Answer 3

If you feel that way it is never to late to develop that bond with your child especially at the age she is now. Do you all share custody? Maybe you can try to talk to her dad and let him now that you want and need to be a part of her life.Let her know now that you love and care for her. Just be there for her so she doesn't think that you don't care

Answer 4

why dont you go back to that state where your daughter is and talk things out with your ex husband. at least they still care for you and want you back, just try to work things out if you can. and remember it is never too late!!!that is one lesson i learned in life