a neighbor mentioned seveal times they need help cleaning their place. and belive me the place was a wreck. nothing picked up off the floor for about 7 months and nothing cleaned.
I wanted to help and I was happy to help. I started on the bedroom and with in a few hours it was looking great! What got me miffed is the entire time I was there she stood in the kitchen and talked on the phone. I saw her wipe and re wipe the same areas. I thought it was rude to talk on the phone when you have company and double rude to have someone do on the work while you talk on the phone...
2007-05-27 11:02:28 · 29 answers · asked by tammy 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I have a BUNCH of calls to make tomorrow, think you could stop over?
2007-05-27 11:09:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Since she was bleeding to death and trying to find advice on the phone to help with the bloodloss, two things:
SHE was SMART for not using that rag to stop the blood -- who wants bacteria (and there's LOTS of it at THAT house) mixed into the wound?!
YOU were SO rude for not helping her with it!
Now, let's assume she only had a paper cut (Slobs can be Mega Drama Queens).
I'd finish the bedroom, let her admire it, explain that it's all you had time for today, and let her duplicate your superb results in the remaining rooms.
Chances are she's looking for a slave, and a polite one (the best kind).
Chances are you're too nice.
Chances are, you will never, ever EVER, volunteer to help this pathetic excuse for "friendship" again.
Here's the deal: She's been to your house. She's seen the lovely and neat way in which you live. She THINKS you enjoy cleaning, when in fact, the thing you love about cleaning isn't the WORK, it's the RESULTS. And she's hoping to capitalize on your good nature while she makes absolutely NO changes in her actual lifestyle or habits.
Don't get trapped, because if you don't cut if off NOW -- let's say you help her twice -- then it will never end, because she sees you as a doormat.
Unless, of course, you are a doormat -- in which case, show up at 11 AM at my place tomorrow, I have laundry you can do... :)
There are cases where the person in question suffered a major loss and stopped all maintenance on their home after the tragedy. This is very different. And in this case, we help our friends. We do it all in one or two days, with trash bins handy and not to be re-opened. We unplug the phones. We have no TV, maybe some radio. We expect tears, and breakthroughs, and we expect less help than we give -- but we DO IT TOGETHER in the SAME room at the same time. And we GET IT DONE! Then we go out for dinner to celebrate, and we are there for them to help with their new life, because life does go on...
Only you can know what the real situation is...
Good Luck!
2007-05-27 19:03:39 · answer #2 · answered by fitpro11 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've had this experience! Yes it is rude (or incredibly insensitive), and one solution is to tell the person asking for help that you will be glad to work alongside her for X amount of time. If she quits - for a phone call or something similar - you take a break, too! At the end of the allotted time, you leave, no matter how little may have been accomplished. You are a good person to want to help, and you did!
2007-05-27 18:11:58 · answer #3 · answered by Lolly P 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was rude as long as she had control over the duration of the phone call. She probably should have told the other person she was busy cleaning (and not alone) and that she would call them back when she was done.
2007-05-27 18:06:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think this is just plain rude, you hav ppl over at your house to help you clean, instead of doing most of the cleaning, you let you guest do it while you yap on the phone. what the heck is wrong with this woman??? if i were you, i would just leave the place and never go back again
2007-05-27 18:22:43 · answer #5 · answered by why me? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That, and the condition of her house should tell you a lot about her. I think it was more selfish and lazy than rude. I think I would avoid her from here on out. Give yourself a pat on the back for giving your time and energy to a selfish user.
2007-05-27 19:17:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you were very kind to offer to help her. I would not have been so kind. If someone is a slob, let them clean up their own filth themselves. Her nasty housekeeping is a clear indication of what type of person she is. She isn't very polite either. In the future, try helping someone who really needs it, and will appreciate it.
2007-05-30 16:13:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is rude. When I drop a hint that I need help with a task, I generally help and get my hands dirty too, unless I'm totally unqualified at that task, in which staying out of the way of the person who is helping me is better.
2007-05-27 18:12:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If someone was kind of enough to come and help me clean my house, I would be working alongside them twice as hard to show my gratitude. I'd feed them a fabulous meal, too. You are absolutely right, this was incredibly rude.
By the way, are you available to come clean my house?
2007-05-27 18:10:16 · answer #9 · answered by Sharon M 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, you weren't there to talk, so her talking on the phone while you were there wasn't rude.
Her not cleaning when that's what the two of you were supposed to be doing was.
So it's up to you whether you want to continue to "help" under these circumstances.
2007-05-27 21:36:19 · answer #10 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very rude, but you still don't get it.
She doesn't CLEAN houses, not even
her own.
I would have left when I saw she wasn't
helping.
You got used. If she starts telling everyone
how she suckered you into cleaning her
house, I would talk about how filthy it was.
2007-05-27 18:38:30 · answer #11 · answered by elliebear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋