The true function of forgiveness is to set me free from dragging around the weight of resentment. I let go of my feelings of offense, and the rest of my life works better.
It becomes toxic only when the term is used as a cover for co-dependent self abuse.
Feral Christian/buddhist/pagan/philosopher
2007-05-27 05:35:22
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Forgive an offender for one specific action. If they do that same thing again, they've committed a new offense for which they will have to be forgiven. Refusing to forgive is wrong, but so is the offense which necessitates forgiveness in the first place.
A forgiving person becomes a "voluntary victim" when the offender re-offends, but that is the fault of the offender, not the person who has been wronged.
Jesus never endorsed withholding forgiveness or waiting until the offender apologized.
Name: Allen Eugene Booth
Faith: Christian (Baptist)
2007-05-27 12:48:03
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answer #2
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answered by allenbmeangene 6
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Forgiveness is never a permission for another to sin. Forgiveness does not mean letting someone walk all over you, and in fact, does not mean even allowing things to be as they were prior to the offese.
If someone harms your children, and you forgive them, it does not mean that you will let them into your house again, or that you will allow them to be near your children again.
Simply put, all that forgiveness means is that you will no longer harbor resentment toward that person; that you will no longer allow your anger to eat away at you. It does not mean that you will accept them into a former place of trust.
People are accountable for their actions, and forgiveness does not release them from accountability. You can forgive a person for committing a crime, and still hold them accountable. Forgiveness is not amnesty or pardon. It is a decision on the part of the wronged party to not hold on to anger.
2007-05-27 05:30:27
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answer #3
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answered by Deirdre H 7
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When the person you forgive does not listen and wants to continue to abuse you and belittle and berate you, get away from them. This is what councelors tell abuse victims to do.. Jesus gave the prescription of what to do with persons like these , love them from a distance, leave them to their own devices. Matthew 10:14-15...Romans 12:20. the Sermon on the Mount Matthew 6:9-13 and Matthew 18
2007-05-27 05:38:06
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answer #4
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answered by ShadowCat 6
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Mm. When I was 18, my boyfriend raped me and then said he was "sorry" afterwards. I felt like I had to forgive him, so I did. Then I felt like I should stay with him because, well, I'd forgiven him so he hadn't really done anything wrong, right?
That was a very bad idea and turned out very badly. I'm still pretty ashamed of how incredibly stupid I was at the time. I'm not certain "voluntary victim" is the best word, but perhaps "doormat" is too perjorative. Ah well.
2007-05-27 05:28:14
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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My faith is Non-denominational
Forgiveness is for your benefit not theirs.
Jesus was asked the same question, how much should we forgive someone. He said, " Ten times, not just ten times but ten times ten. You see he even asked forgiveness for those who crucified him. He did this at his last hour. It is very difficult to do when someone is abusing you. Turning the other cheek is more about forgiveness than standing still for abuse. Even the Angels have told me that you are permitted to defend yourself. If you are being abused then it is up to you to change the situation. Either fight back or leave. You will be karmicly responsible for your acts.
Forgiveness is about karma. Karma is a Mid Eastern term for
reaping what you sew as Jesus put it. What goes around comes around. I order to understand it fully, it helps to accept multiple lives. When you offend or harm someone for instance, you will experience the same in this life time or the next. This is why Jesus said, forgive them father, they know not what they do. He had already forgiven them. Had he said Curse them or I hate them, then Hate and curse would come back on Jesus. You are responsible for every thought , word, and deed. This is a guide line to live your life. The longer you hold onto your unforgiveness, the longer it will haunt you. Anger will eat you alive. Forgive and let the Holy Spirit handle the rest. In the mean time if you are being abused, get out of the situation. It is hard to forget, but that is another task to go along with forgiveness. It is amazing how forgiving someone will free you. Try it. The bible says those who cannot forgive, will not be forgiven. " Karma"
Rev. TomCat
2007-05-27 05:48:23
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answer #6
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answered by Rev. TomCat 6
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I try very hard to forgive people who have hurt me. I am a "red letter Christian"- I trust only Jesus' words and I am very suspicious of other parts of the Bible. So, My salvation is predicated on Jesus' warning:
"If you do not forgive others, our father in Heaven will not forgive you". -- Which is one of the clearest verses in the Bible.
Now to your question: I am obligated to forgive others. However, even though I forgive them, and wipe the slate clean in regards to holding any grudges, ...... some folks need to be quarantined(as in jail or prison).
Whew! - that was a close call, good question.
2007-05-27 05:39:55
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answer #7
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answered by MrsOcultyThomas 6
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Im agnostic and I also question this regarding faith. I have had faith in things that logically I have witnessed I shouldnt.
The reason I bring this up is because I think forgiveness and faith kinda go hand in hand.
I have held on to hatred and lack of forgiveness and it proved to be more toxic as I learned my lack of forgiveness impacts me more than the other person. So I forgive...I let go.
But my faith in that person has diminished. If I continued to try and have faith alone in that person I become a doormat.
So I kinda live on that philosophy:
"Fool me once shame on you...fool me twice shame on me"
2007-05-27 05:34:37
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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It only becomes " toxic " as you put it when you STOP forgiving. There is no quicker way for the soul to die than to quit being Christ-like.
2007-05-27 05:39:35
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answer #9
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answered by HeVn Bd 4
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If you tell them I don't want you to hurt me no more and they do, they're taking your forgiveness lightly. And in the end forgiving them doesn't really mean nothing. All the things they did, and keep doing, will be on bigger problem.
You need to tell them if you hurt me again, I will not have nothing to do with you. Because you don't deserve this. And until you teach people how to treat you~they won't know how..
2007-05-27 05:34:25
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answer #10
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answered by SDC 5
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