My boyfriend is now saying he'll kill himself, and that it's my fault?

Question

My boyfriend has treated me with nothing but disrespect for the 8 months we've been together. A few weeks ago, I said i'd give him one last chance to treat me the way I deserve. Things were going okay until the other night, when his ex decides to randomly stop by. He had no idea she would, but to my suprise he invites her into his bedroom with me, without even coming to me first to ask if i'd be okay with it. Not only that, but he takes a picture of her right infront of me, and his excuse for that is; "I just wanted to see her reaction." And then, as if it weren't bad enough already, he goes outside with her to talk and leaves me alone inside crying. I grabbed my bag and left. He calls me that night to tell me he did nothing wrong, I hung up. Oh and did I mention my boyfriend finds it wrong that I do so much as wave to a guy friend of mine? Yet he finds nothing wrong with what he did. I left his house feeling as hurt as I ever have in my entire life. Please continue reading below:

I told him i'm ending our relationship. A few hours later he leaves me the following msgs;

"u realli latelli prooved how you felt about me all along, i didnt do nothing wrong. go ahead lookin for excuses.
if you loved me, you wouldn't do this,
you wouldn't leave me. by leaving me, your doing everything you can to hurt me. u just say u felt for me lotta things but when it comes up to who wants who, i see ur actions. i wish you loved me as much as i love you. just remember u did this over that stupid b**** comin to my house. that shows how much u love me, you never loved me. you know how i feel bout you, how can you do this to me? you wanna leave me so you want me dead, im gonna kill myself. go find out the definiton of a player, u might be surprised. you killed someone who loves you, remember that when im gone. you prooved everything on your part was a lie by leaving me. guess i'm going to hell, i'll see you there. i'll see you there. i'll never forgive u."

What do I do?! Help

Update: This isn't a matter of trust, it's just the fact that he's incredibly disrespectful towards my feelings. Just this past weekend, because i've broke off the relationship, he called me saying he had stabbed himself. I hung up, called the cops, and turns out he hasn't even done so much as scratch himself. He's still bugging me about getting back together, he can't let it go. He keeps saying he'll change, but you've all made me realize that he never will. Thank you all so much, you've opened up my eyes. Thank you =]

Answer 1

Sweetie move on. He sound like a jerk and if you continue to be with him you must like being mistreated.

Answer 2

It sounds like he's trying to get you as worked up as he can so that you won't leave him. There was a guy who did that to me before. He told me he was just going to slit his wrists because I wouldn't be with him and he couldn't take it that I didn't love him. I never dated him, I didn't care about him in that way, and he knew it. He tried to guilt me into dating him though, and when I would date someone else he would lie to me and the guy I was seeing to try to break everything up. I can't count how many times he threatened to commit suicide but I knew he was just full of it. I'm not sure if your boyfriend is doing the same thing, but I doubt he'll go through with it, especially since he's practically threatening you. Telling you that it's your fault. He's trying to make you feel bad is what it seems like to me. It can be a hard situation, because you can't give in and go back out with him just because you're afraid he'll hurt himself. That will be a continuous trap if you do that. The best thing you can do is go on with your life, and if you're genuinely worried that he'll actually hurt himself, call one of his family members and tell them what's going on. That way he can get some kind of help if he needs it, and you can find someone who isn't going to treat you like you're nothing. You deserve better than that. Sorry the answer was so long, but I hope it helps you.

Answer 3

If I said "Leave him to die alone", that'd be a tad harsh, aye? But really... He's treated you like s*** from the sounds of it. He also is overprotective and isn't deserving of you. If he really thinks he did nothing wrong, then he doesn't need you. He needs help. Seriously.

If he hurts you that much, you shouldn't really care about what happens to him. I'm no saying you should give him the knife and walk off (metaphorically), but you shouldn't talk to him, nor stay with him. Go and see a close friend. If he becomes obsessive or stalkerish, get a restraining order.

And if he kills himself, then I don't think he'd be greatly missed. Not that encouraging suicide or letting someone kill themselves is good, but it's his choice to make. You had the will to leave him, but he doesn't have the will or decency to treat you with respect.

You are better without him. Sever contact with him. Don't talk to him again. That's my little bit of advice.

Answer 4

I seriously doubt he is going to kill himself- he is just trying to get a reaction from you - but...

for cripes sake you majorly over reacted to the situation at his house. So what if his ex came over unexpectedly, so what if he tried to get her upset by snapping a picture of her...all of this was done innocently RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. He excused himself to have a conversation and to walk her out - that is not uncommon...

If the world doesn't revolve around you do you always act like a drama queen?

Him getting upset at you waving to another guy is a bit childish, but you have the ability to control it - you don't put up your hand...

He, on the other hand, didn't have a choice when it came to her coming over, and he chose to be polite to her instead of rude, because that is the RIGHT thing to do. She is an ex, she wasn't a threat to you. What were you crying about???

If you hadn't stomped out - he would have come back in the room with you afer seeing her out and you could have gone on with your day.

Yes, it was an awkward situation,her coming over, but you just showed your immaturity by not handling it better. You should have been cordial to her, said hello & goodbye and not let her bother you a single bit...

with your next boyfriend, try to get a little more self esteem and don't let small things get to you so badly - there are some things that are worth getting angry over, and others that aren't...choose your arguments, and your boyfriends - a bit more wisely.

Answer 5

Saying he will kill himself is just a ploy to stop you from breaking up with him. Most people who threaten to kill themselves do not really want to and almost never do. The fact that he feels he did nothing wrong is worrying because it shows he doesn't care about your feelings at all and is really very manipulative and childish. You should leave him and move on, he is not worth it.

Answer 6

Honey, do yourself a big favour and forget about him trying to manipulate you. What's the betting that if you forgive him and go back to him that further down the line he'll do it again ... and again ... and again.

He's using emotional blackmail to get you to forgive him ... even though he doesn't see that he's doen anything wrong. It's always going to be your fault, in his eyes.

It's almost a certain thing that he won't kill himself. He's just thinking of himself, and from what you say, he's used to having his own way. He's too controlling for someone as lovely as you.

Answer 7

are you really serious? first of all he has no right to treat you that way. that is the most ridiculous thing i've heard. you need to leave him. he says hes going to kill himself if you leave him b/c he loves you so much? if he loved you THAT much he wouldnt do those things to hurt you. he has major problems and you might want to talk to his parents or something about getting him help. But there is no reason to stay with someone like that. You're wasting your time, and you will find someone better.

Answer 8

Ditch the wuss. I doubt he would kill himself, that just sounds like an excuse. I know someone that found herself in a similar situation. The guy even came over and destroyed a lot of her stuff and then started crying when she dialed 911. Just stay away from him, refuse his calls, don't talk to him at all.

Answer 9

That is so not right anyways if that were my boyfriend id maybe break up with him and then bring his ex girlfriend and say YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO ANYTHING WITH HER BUT IM OVER YOU !!!!! or you can tell him your feelings of how you felt when his ex girlfriend came and if he doesnt deal with that then tell him maybe i should die and then dont meet him for 2-3 weeks im sorry im kinda running out of ideas and well i hope this helps sweetheart anyways try these ideas and take care HOPE EVERYATHING WORKS OUT =]


ps if this does not work then keep on movin girl just dump him !

Answer 10

girl its not ur fault! he's only sayin he'll kill himself so that u wont leave him, alot of people say that wen they dont want the relationship 2 end, cuz they no that the person wont leave them, if they threaten! u need 2 just not even worry bout him! I'd say get him some help cuz all although he might not kill himself and he might kill himself and its just not healthy 4 sum1 2 say that get him help now!

Answer 11

Girl, he is a pig. You deserve better then him and he has all the signs as someone possessive, manipulative, and that may become abusive. If you really love and care for this guy, get him some help. He seems like he has issues and it is not fair for you to be stuck with them. He is playing head games with you and you do NOT need that. Just get away from him and stay away please. For your own good and your safety!