Calling for all British ladies and gentlemen?

Question

I don't understand why people should put their feet (with shoes) on opposite seats in trains and buses. Why do people spit, litter and switch on their mobile phone's music loud in public transport? I have visited Beijing, Shanghai and Hong Kong many times and am impressed by people's good manner there. Can anybody tell me why we Brits are so uncivilised while people in a developing country and a previous British colony are so well-behaved?

Answer 1

I've been thinking about this for a long time and it seems to me that part of the explanation is this:

In society we have rights, and we have responsibilities. In the past, people had responsibilities but hardly any rights - No employment rights, no protection for women or children from abusive husbands and fathers, no right for women to vote, no right to welfare or to be treated decently by the state. Now, thankfully, we have a lot more rights, but I think the pendulum has swung too far the other way, so that people think they have the right to do just about anything they like, and virtually no responsibility to society at all. This is partly due to schools and parents being disempowered - you can't discipline a child at school any more, you can't give them the cane when they misbehave, you are made to feel bad as a parent if you smack your child, and children are growing up to think they're untouchable. The obvious consequence, which we see in society, is that people have no respect for authority, no respect for each other, no respect for rules or codes of decency. There is such an obvious correlation here that I feel sure it's what is really going on.

Children need discipline, they need punishment, they need to fear authority (whether that be parents or teachers or the state) and the erosion of that situation is what is leading to the decline in behaviour.

Answer 2

I can't agree with you more. I think the people of Hong Kong are more likely to behave in ways which are considered gentlemanly or ladylike than people here. Even though there are more than six million people packed in a not very big city, everywhere you go, you'll find everything very orderly and people do not litter the streets like we do here. Sometimes I think this country is losing some of the great qualities which made it a great country in the past. That's why I asked the question "Is the UK going to the dogs?" . I didn't get as many answers as you. People don't seem to care any more. I would be very sad to see the UK go down like this and become a paradise for hooligans and ladettes.

Answer 3

Calling for all British ladies and gentlemen.......there aren't many left nowadays.
Manners are considered to be old fashioned and uncool by most people which I think is an awful shame.
I make a point of being as polite as possible and I would appreciate the same courtesy extended to me, but it doesn't happen very often sadly.
"Manners maketh the man"
I have travelled a lot as well, and am always embarrassed to be seen as British, so I usually keep my mouth shut in the hope that people can't tell. I was completely bowled over by Singapore and it's people. What a lovely city. Polite people, no litter and very scenic.

Answer 4

I would not be so ready to say all British people on public transport are ill mannered to this degree but I do take your point. I am afraid, to some degree it is the influence of youth culture and the culture of the underclass aka CHAVS.
I have seen some young men recently, on a train, who put their feet up on other seats with their own shoes removed, which to me is only slightly less ill mannered.

Answer 5

I know what you mean, on a recent trip to Florida everyone was so polite and good mannered. The only problems were from the British, jumping the queues and being rude etc.
Even in the Epcot centre the British Barman was grumpy.

I don't know why but I wish it wasn't the case.

(and of course not all Brits are like that I know, but there seems to be more by the year)

Answer 6

'We' are not all an homogeneous group. I don't do any of the things you mentioned, and I guess that most people are the same. It's only the comparatively small number of slobs that get noticed. People don't tend to notice good behaviour. I don't know why some people are slobs. Maybe it's something to do with their childhood. And, seeing as 'slobdom' is a learnt behaviour they will likely influence their offspring into being the same. What a horrible thought.

Answer 7

Not all Brits are like this. I respect other people's belongings, I am polite, and I try to help others. Unfortunately, the 'next generation' seem to be growing up thinking that the world revolves around them and manners are no longer applicable.

Answer 8

Please, please don't think it is only the British who are like this. And, not all Brits either. We have exactly the same decline in standards here in Australia and it doesn't take too much grey matter to see that it's the same in the States.

As simplistic as it sounds I blame our propensity to shove kids in day care centres rather than actually bring up our own children for much of it. Perhaps if people took responsiblity for teaching their own children how to behave in public rather than relying on schools and kindergartens to do it we might have higher values in each generation.

Answer 9

During my visit to the UK I never saw any such behavior.
I did use the undergroung in London daily to get around.
Maybe I went to the wrong places.
Worse travelling situation I've seen was a youth waving a knife in a threatening manner in San Diego.

Answer 10

Well, most children in Asia still live with parents who teach them these things.
It's funny to think that some adults in Asia go to special school to learn "British Manners" in order to get better-paid job while here in UK, you'd be a minority if you have proper manners (or a complete set of parents, for that matter).