WIfe not working???

Question

I have been married to her for 3 years now, She has 3 kids, 18,13,10, not worked for about 15 years i believe. Am i being so wrong as to insist that she now gets a job? I was self employed a while back and so we got tax credits, when i started my new job earning okay money, the tax credits continued cos she 'forgot' to tell them.. Obviously its a year on now time to renew and I am not lying on no form. She uses the money to get the shopping each week as all my wages pays for the bills at end of month. So when the credits stop, and we start paying them back, we not going to have any money for shopping, so I am insisting that she goes back to work, but I am being unreasonable here? all i want is for her to go and do some bloody work! any ideas what she could do or if you think i am being unreasonable.???

Answer 1

amazing i thought it was only immigrants that stole from our benefit systems the way some people spout on this thing. good for you for finally being honest and once she realises money isnt coming in any more maybe she will learn to get off her *** and do something about it.

Answer 2

I dont think you are unreasonable, I have four children , but grown up now, and worked nights the whole time. I think she may need to get a bit of confidence back and maybe just doing a few hours a week initially to see how she gets on. If not then as money drops so will the things that she wants and the kids will suffer has she thought of this. Nobody works for the fun of it ,it is a means to an end and if you need things then you have to earn the money.
All the best and to your wife , you may be surprised how you will enjoy it , it is away from the house and family and gives you something to think about outside of that. At least at work any probs I have at home stay there and talk is not always of the washing and the kids.

Answer 3

Hi, I don't think you are being unreasonable at all, if the Inland Revenue find out she has been lying to them they will prosecute her. You may still be entitled to Tax Credits if your income is below the average, ( a lot of my friends still get tax credits with their husbands) Why dosent she apply for a part time job, she has most probably got used to not working, and dosent really want to work now. But needs must. Try a local supermarket, or shop for a job. We would all like to not work, just as i thought i could cut my hours at work my husband of 25years left, and i had to take on more hours i think i will be working until i am very old because i cant afford not to, luckily the supermarket i work for lets you carry on work after retirement (oh i am not old enough to retire for a good few years yet). Good Luck.............

Answer 4

How about suggesting she go back part time.Looking after a house and 4 others is quite a job in itself!Earning will also give her a feeling of independence.You and the kids will of course have to do your bit to help out at home.Someone with 3 dependants would have to earn a lot for tax credits to be removed altogether ,so it might not be all doom and gloom.Looks like you are going to have to take responsibility for notifying the authorities in the future----as the wage earner it really is your responsibility.Perhaps she could do some work for the school(this would leave her free to supervise the kids in the holidays)A couple of nights sleep over a week in a rest or nursing home ,would give plenty of cash for groceries and you could supervise the children.The oportunities are endless but can be daunting when you have been out of the workforce for years.Reassure her that you will do your bit in the home.Beware I know a lot of ladies who suddenly become pregnant when faced with going back to work-----you've been warned!!! Hope your problems resolve themselves I know money is a worry for us all!

Answer 5

The claiming of Tax Credits is a joint claim and the Claim/Renewal form has to be signed by BOTH claimants. Therefore, either your wife signed the form in your name or you signed it without checking that the details were correct. Not very satisfactory, either way.

It may not all be doom and gloom. Go the HMRC website https://www.taxcredits.inlandrevenue.gov.uk/Qualify/DIQHousehold.aspx and take the "Do I Qualify?" test. You should still be eligible for the Child Tax Credit even if you fail to qualify for the Working Tax Credit.

Whether you are right in asking your wife to go back to work is a matter for discussion between you.

It might be sensible to start putting money aside now and saving up in case the Tax Credits reduce or HMRC claim back any overpayments.

Answer 6

Now the children are older there is nothing stopping her going back to work
The chances are she will even enjoy meeting new people and getting out of the house
But remember its going to be hard for her not having been to work for 15 years so don't bully her just support her, she could maybe get a part time job in a supermarket or Home help that type of job might suit her
Call in to your local job centre plus they will help your wife get back into the work place

Answer 7

Well, can she make enough at work to take care of child care? Because a ten year old and a 13 y.o. can't come home alone, so someone has to be there, or they have to be in an after-school program, which costs money. Then she would have commuting costs and increased clothing costs, because she would probably have to wear different clothes or at least get stockings and shoes. Sometimes it's not worth it to get a job if you have all these new costs. On the other hand, if your job can't pay the food bills, then she needs to do something, too. I think you should go talk to a minister or something to get counseling for both of you, because you seem to have a lot of anger at her. You're right, though, to not commit fraud by lying, so good fo ryou.

Answer 8

Sounds like you want your cake and to eat it. Is it not possible for you to help out with the housework and childminding,also can you not phone the tax credit people and sort it out yourself. I think the choice of words needs to be addressed, quote''insisting that she goes to work''. Is she your slave or your wife?
Maybe after 15 years at home she is afraid to go back into the workplace, it's not easy as things have changed so much after all those years. And as for ''go and do some bloody work'' ,does she not do work at home. I am sorry but you need to look at yourself and see what kind of husband are you. Talk to her not sound off on forums.

Answer 9

Have you sat her down and explained this to her?
I think she would get herself out there if she knew the situation. After bringing up kids she may have lost confidence in herself a bit and need careful encouragement to do this though!

Best bet is to approach this with tact, try not to end up having a row, as I don't know either if you it's hard to say really!
She may really enjoy the kudos of getting a job AND being a wife AND mother! Best of luck :)

Answer 10

So whilst she is out at work you will need to get someone in to do the chores that she did for four people,also you would need to sort out after school club so kids are not coming into a empty house,and with the evening meal you and her could take alternative nights cooking,dishes ,ironing etc etc etc.She has been working for 15 years its just that she got no wage packet,its called being a Mum.

Answer 11

Keeping house and raising kids IS work.
That being said, the kids are now of an age that they can help out with chores. So you're right, she should go back to wage labor.