Where is your hand supposed to be?

Question

My parents are European and whenever we eat dinner they scold me if I don't have both hands above the table. But from what I understand from friends, usually in a nice restaurant you should hold one hand under the table.. which is right?

Answer 1

Your parents are correct, hands above the table and elbows off.

Answer 2

Depending on the part of Europe they come from, there are many differences in table etiquette between the countries and different social strata.

Your parents and your friends are both right and both wrong. I don't think it matters where your hands are, but it does seem a bit strange to be holding both your hands underneath the table - which begs the question, how do you eat? :)

As far as placement of limbs are concerned, in England, it is considered bad manners to put your elbows on the dining table. - There are no rules concerning the placement of hands.

Answer 3

I like to hold hands under the table. I never go to a nice restaurant, usually MacDonald's.

Answer 4

Both hand on the table.. One hold the knife, and the other hold the fork.

When you finish with the meal, one hand should be off the table and keep the other hand on the table for drinks.

Answer 5

I think your friends are right i have always been told to keep one hand under and not put my elbows on the table

Answer 6

In Europe, it is polite to keep both hands above the table (but elbows off). In the US, it really doesn't matter. Just remember to always keep the elbows off.

Answer 7

Of all the fine dining standards, this seems the one most argued. I'd say if you are a refined lady who can conduct herself with dignity, neatness, and group composure, considering the space of those around you and interacting with them toward the end result -- feeding oneself while socializing -- then the position of one's hands, elbows and forearms should be of little concern. I think we all know that to just take up and rest one's entire body on the tabletop, by resting completely on your elbows, is the sort of bodily behaviour that looks strange, territorial and uninterested or even bored; and if one is that exhausted should be polite enough to excuse oneself for the evening.

But parents will be parents, so why argue? Best to keep in tune with their traditions when with them, and observe your more modern sensibilities when independent from them.

:)

Answer 8

No in Europe you are meant to keep both your hands on the table. However, it is more enforced in restaurants because it is proper etiquette whereas at home or at a casual place it shouldn't matter.

Answer 9

It varies from country to country. In the states, basic etiquette says keep your hand in your lap or place your wrist on the table. Sounds like your parents have a different tradition.

Answer 10

I was always taught one hand under the table and elbows off.