i have a male friend ive been dating for 3 months and he never spends time with me on the weekends and he has never introduced me to his kids. he says hes with his kids on the weekend and that thats the only time he gets to spend with them. well we both work nights so that is the time i spend with him when we get off and maybe every once in a while in the day for a brief momment but mostly late at night after 1. well get this, i have kids too and i spend time with them but im willing to make plans to spend time with him on weekends so why is that his excuse. i have kids too. ive talked with him about it several times and nothing has changed so what would you do?
2007-05-26 19:41:59 · 10 answers · asked by eaglestraces123 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it really sounds like he has a wife to. i don't know how he is doing it. maybe she works at 1 in the morning then he comes and see you while the kids are asleep. i don't no but i will tell you this. something in the water ain't clean.
2007-05-26 19:47:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sometimes, parents do not want to introduce a new girlfriend to the kids for fear of confusing them, this may be a valid point since you have seen each other for just 3 months. If the kids are grown, then I don't know what is the problems. Could be true though and he really would like to spend solo time with the kids. Lastly it could be that you are just a fling, and he is not taking you seriously enough to present you the kids. Regardless of my speculations or your ideas, I recommend you ask him in one day out of the blue when is he going to present you his children, and see what he says.
2007-05-27 02:49:10 · answer #2 · answered by Organized Chaos 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Every person is different when it comes to their children. I think that you need to respect his wantings. But maybe you could get everyone together one weekend and have your children mingle with his. It has only been three months since you have started dating. I think that he is just protecting the children in this matter. And by saying that, I mean he wants to ease them into getting to know you. You get to see your children more often than he does I am assuming. He only on the weekends, so I do not blame him for wanting to spend his whole weekends with his children.
Just give it time and it will work out as you want it to. But remember to give him his space when it comes to his children. Also remember that children come first in any relationship and if you act annoyed by that, then there is a slight chance that you will lose him. So be patient and understanding. Enjoy your time with him no matter how little time you do have with him. Think about how his children feel about only getting to see their father on the weekends. At least you get to see him everyday....Kimmie
2007-05-27 02:51:36 · answer #3 · answered by Kimmie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have several thoughts on this. For one thing, three months is not very long to be dating someone. His kids have gone through a divorce, and may have had some trouble adjusting to the change of having Dad move out. The appropriate time for him to introduce them to you is when he feels fairly sure that you are going to be a permanent part of his life. Otherwise, his kids are in for a lot more change and upheaval.
And how old are his kids? If they're teenagers, they can probably deal with Dad dating, but if they're younger, it may be pretty difficult.
And how often do you see your kids? If you only got to see them weekends, you might be a bit more protective of your time with them, as he is being.
My advice is to chill out, give him his space, and don't get ahead of yourself. Give your relationship with him a chance to grow to the point that it feels more stable.
2007-05-27 02:50:33 · answer #4 · answered by SL_SF 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you been to his home before?
Do you know where he lives?
Have you met his Children?
You both have ALL day off.
My " Little Eye " would start Spying,
In case he is Married and Cheating,
or Cheating.
I would find something to do on
the weekends, with or without him,
and let him know it.
He may not be the one.
2007-05-27 03:15:02 · answer #5 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back off. You have only been dating three months. He wants to spend time with his kids and right now they are more important to him than you are. Suck it up. If you don't like it then find someone who doesn't have kids.
2007-05-27 02:46:43 · answer #6 · answered by Susan G 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me he's not really looking to stay committed to you. More like being in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
You need to figure out what you want. Either you want to make this work with him, or find someone who will actually try to make a relationship with you and commit.
2007-05-27 02:45:53 · answer #7 · answered by sum1_keeps_taking_my_name 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it sounds like youre the one trying to put some effort into this relationship - if he isnt willing to put some effort in it i would just move on and find someone else to spend time with, someone that appreciates the effort YOU put in, and is willing to make things work ....
2007-05-27 02:45:51 · answer #8 · answered by Carla P 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
honey i been Thur this myself hate to tell you but hee,s using you for a booty call and more than likely is with a woman on the weekends do some spying and find out.
2007-05-27 02:45:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell him its about time all the kids met..... If he side steps that one something is very wrong!
2007-05-27 02:45:39 · answer #10 · answered by Michael N 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋