My family isnt very nice and I just want to cut them off completely. I barely speak to them anyway. They just cause me so much grief. I am so much happier not dealing with them. How do I say it and be heard?
2007-05-26 16:46:36 · 9 answers · asked by hollygolightly 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have some experience with this, and it's very painful. The healthiest thing to do--for everyone, including yourself--is simply to structure things so that you see them less. I assume you've confronted them about their behavior a few times, and it hasn't helped. Well, it isn't going to help now.
Only directly tell them to leave you alone if they keep showing up at your house or work or something, and behaving badly (like showing up drunk or abusive or something). Otherwise, simply treat them with basic courtesies, and make sure that you always have a way of having to go somewhere else.
The reason to avoid telling them directly that you don't want more contact is that with families, the telling of it actually binds you closer together. It's just another opportunity for a fight, whether it happens in person, over the phone, via email, whatever.
I actually managed to heal my relationship with my family through a combination of meditation, self-improvement and learning how to meet my own relationship needs through my friends. It took 10 years, and it was far from easy, but I'm glad I didn't actually cut them off permanently. Now. And yet, I don't live close to any of them, and don't plan to. So revised expectations play an important role as well.
Don't know if I've been any help. The specifics of how they are "not very nice" can matter in what steps you take, from restraining order to simply monitoring your caller ID. Ensure your physical safety first, then your mental health. Good luck.
2007-05-26 16:56:57 · answer #1 · answered by Singinganddancing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might want to think before you say anything like that, those are hurtful words.
No matter what you do in life, family will always be there for you during bad times and good times.
I'm not sure how old you are, but if your still living under your parents house, there are rules that they have made, not to give you grief, but to also protect you.
Just because you barely speak to them, doesn't mean that they are not there.
Maybe your sore at them because they wouldn't help you or won't let you do things that you want to do. But you have to realize they are doing it for your safety, and they think they are doing whats best for you. Sometimes you can't get what you want, and your gonna realize that, thats part of life.
Please make sure you take a breather before you say anything you might regret later.
2007-05-26 23:57:49 · answer #2 · answered by Lilkryptonite 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you go and triage family take an honest look at yourself and make sure you are not the cause of this family disconnect. No family is perfect and family is family. Sometimes we just have to accept what we have been born into and take it for what it is. In bad times, it's great to have family to fall back on. On the other hand, if your family is that toxic to you, just don't show up. Sooner or later they will ask you why and you can say your peace and be done with it.
2007-05-26 23:52:30 · answer #3 · answered by Sciencemom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres always hope. Check in once a week with hugs and love. Help out, do a chore for them. Bring a snack! Decide to walk away with some love---make it a goal. Keep a journal, write positive affirmations only! Say positive things only. Make it a goal to write 2 nice things. Then feel it, and chuck the negative to the devil. The devil is trying to steal your family don't let him.
2007-05-26 23:56:31 · answer #4 · answered by kim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you barely speak to them anyway why do you have to tell them you don't want to speak to them
instead, just never be available
refuse all efforts to be around them
also for your own sake, get counseling so that you can relieve yourself of the bad feelings you have toward them.
note that i am not saying you have to have a relationship with them rather that you can place some of their actions in perspective and not carry the hurt disappointment etc...
that is so often part of when families act out and disappoint
good luck to you in the future
2007-05-27 00:32:55 · answer #5 · answered by creole lady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get all the family member's together and just tell them how you fill. At the end of the meeting inform then that you want nothing to do with them.
2007-05-27 00:01:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Instead of cutting them off which you might regret later ignore them avoid them
2007-05-27 00:01:28 · answer #7 · answered by twixiestixs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them I want nothing to do with you and don't have nothing to do with them. Hopefully thay get the point.
2007-05-26 23:49:27 · answer #8 · answered by Mysterious101 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont...I was once taught this lesson...NEVER< NEVER BURN THE BRIDGES..YOu never know when you will need to cross them again!!! Trust me...
2007-05-26 23:51:13 · answer #9 · answered by Nicole E 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋