i signed up for choir just to have a breather away from my mom and because singing makes me relax. my mom signed up with me. at first i didnt mind but her reason of signing up with me, was to watch me if i talk to guys or what not. i told her that i`m going to sign up at the gym with my friend and she wants to sign up to watch me if i talk to guys. basically everywhere i go my mom always tags along WHEN i need some air away from her. i go to school and 2 more years til i graduate, i take care of my siblings and pets, i cook and clean the house, i go to work. i cant even go to hangout with my friends bcause my mother doesnt let me. i cant even make my own mistakes or my own decision becuse my mother puts it on my face and keeps a grudge about it. she still does reverse psychology to me to get what she wants. sometimes i even just put what makes me happy aside to do what she wants. im a responsible person so why is she like this to me? im 22 what do i do to get my life the way i planned?
2007-05-26 16:08:41 · 5 answers · asked by mareee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i feel shes sufficating my every decision instead of letting me learn or at least have her moral support.
i tried to move out, but she wont let me leave to get an apparment when in the begining she told me that it was up to me.
2007-05-26 16:12:03 · update #1
i tried telling her NO many times and i even talked to her one on one hoping she`ll understand, but she didnt even pay attention to anything i said especially the ones she doesnt like to hear. shes making me go crazy still controlling me. i even have to sneakout the house to hangout with my friends because they locked the gate with a padlock and they put the security on so i cant leave.
2007-05-26 16:24:33 · update #2
and i pay my college tuition myself plus my books.
2007-05-26 16:31:52 · update #3
You're 22 and you're allowing your mother to do this???? Shame on you (and on her, too).
Just tell her NO. It is somewhat sickening that she is still so involved in your life. You need to tell her it is not healthy for either of you for her to be so involved in your life.
And, it may just be time to move out.
You are an adult. You need to start acting like one. Only you should be making decisions for you. If your mother isn't "letting" you do things, then you are giving her that power. TAKE your life into your own hands. Now!!!
Okay, if they are locking gates and setting alarms, they are holding you against your will, which is illegal. You need to call the police.
No more excuses!
2007-05-26 16:15:42 · answer #1 · answered by frankiquilts 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what your background is, but I do know that many people from other cultures can be extremely protective and controlling of their children.
At the age of 22, you are an adult and you sound like a very responsible one, but if you are financially dependent upon your parents to finish college, it will be very difficult to cut the apron strings. Once you graduate and have a good job, you can move out on your own and live an independent life.
What I would do is to sit down with both of your parents and have a calm conversation about this. Point out to them that you are very responsible and that you need more freedom if you are to learn to successfully live an independent life. Tell them that you cannot learn to make good decisions if you are not allowed to make decisions and learn from any mistakes you might make.
Your parents may not listen, but if you can get any concessions from them, it would be an improvement over what you have now. If not, just try to bear it until you graduate.
2007-05-26 23:25:24 · answer #2 · answered by majormomma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man thats a tough one...some people grow up and have parents that never even ask how they are doing......then there's the opposite.....
Tell her in a firm but polite way that you will be with your friends, then leave and go with your friends...she will just have to learn to accept that you are grown !..
She may also be trying to relive a part of her life that was unfulfilled through your activities.
I guess you are currently living at home?
One more thing you can try:..leave her a note saying you are eloping with a guy you meet at the circus..he works there and doesn't make a lot of money, but wants to make lots of babies and yes he drinks a lot and sometimes hits you but you love him anyway and you think she will be happy when you come to live at home with all the kids.....then at the bottom of the note say that the above is not true...but that things could be worse than you just hanging with your friends or wanting to spend sometime alone with a guy.
2007-05-26 23:22:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a grown woman, she can't stop you from moving out. The only person who can change your situation is you. Until I got to the end of your question I thought you were 16. It is not normal for a mother to follow around her 22 year old daughter.
2007-05-26 23:22:54 · answer #4 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your an adult and should control your decisions. shes probably like that because she wants you to still be her little girl so you should talk to her and say that your 22 years old and need to be in charge of your own life
2007-05-26 23:24:16 · answer #5 · answered by *~*Aliizzle*~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋