My boyfriend is hitting 30 this year, just got a great job and is doing pretty well in life. I'm really proud of him. We've been dating for 3 years. I'm a few years younger and finishing grad school this year.
Today, at a family picnic his family was joking/playing around and teasing my boyfriend about when he was finally going to propose. It's pretty clear we will get married someday, but he seems to be taking his sweet time in asking. I'll admit, I'm a little antsy about it. I want it to happen, but I don't want to pressure him. So, I don't. But, today his family was doing enough of it for me. I just kept quiet, laughed and added a few quick little neutral comments about it. I surely wasn't going to admit to him, in front of his family, that 'mI waiting.
But, part of me is wondering if the increase in family support/pressure will have any effect of his final decision on when to ask me? We are both very traditional and so are our families.
2007-05-26 15:36:11 · 3 answers · asked by Answer Girl 2007 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
so, a prosposal is always done by the guy and is somewhat a surprise. Of course, we have talked about it before.
My parent's are almost waiting for it to happen too. But, they don't tell him that.
I was wondering how his family opinion maybe effecting him?
Also, we do not live together and won't before we are married.
2007-05-26 15:37:44 · update #1
It is perfectly ok for a woman to ask what the intentions of her man, in this situation, are. You could say , your family was really pressuring you about marriage today, how do you really feel about it..Maybe he is not ready..And be prepared for that. Men are more imature than women and take longer to get to the point they want to settle down. Don't be in a rush but it does not hurt to ask..maybe he wants you to have a job, be more financially secure, but it is not his family's business. If you really want to know ask. Just be sure you want to know the answer.
2007-05-26 15:40:55 · answer #1 · answered by commonsense2265 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would put some time between this "family pressure" and discussing it with him.
But after a few weeks or Months, I would tell him what your life plans are when your done with school. ( I highly suggest you have "plans" with or without him) Things like where your going to look for a job ( maybe out of state), when your going to start looking for your own place....
This would give him an opportunity to at least approach the idea of marriage. In addition it might just open his eyes a bit and realize that your not just waiting around for his word and that perhaps he better take some action.
He might feel a little worried and realize he better put in his "bid" for you ;)
I'm sure you really love him, but Sometimes guys get comfortable and complacent, sounds like he needs a Lil "hint". ( Get used to this strategy it works in the marriage also- lol)
If you still don't get any indication that he's going to propose...on to "plan B" - which like a smart grad student you have in place.
2007-05-26 23:01:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be clear with him, talk about a timeline for buying a house and having children if that is what you two want and that will bring up the marriage thing. Maybe with you finishing school you should suggest opening a joint savings towards a house so that when you do get married you will have the ability to buy a home. What ever his response will clue you in.
Good luck!
2007-05-26 22:41:49 · answer #3 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋