A serious question about child abuse...what do you think of this?

Question

Recently in my town there have been two horrible cases of child abuse. In both cases the victims were infants, three and four months. The fathers were under the age of twenty-five years, and had an alleged history of domestic violence against women. Also the young mothers worked full-time. In our county newspaper someone made the statement that the fathers did what they did because they were "young and immature". I know what I think but what I would like to know is what do you think of this statement? Can child abuse ever be contributed to lack of maturity and being too young? How could anyone not see that if they are abusing women that they could abuse children? Serious answers please.

One of the fathers had a baby that supposedly died of SIDS. It is now being investigated because of the possibly that the baby made haave died at the father's hands.

Answer 1

As a foster parent for nearly 20 years, and a child & adolescent psychosocial rehabilitation (PSR) consultant, I've seen the results of child abuse. Anyone of almost any age can be an abuser. I've worked with child abusers as young as 3 and as old as 80.

Likely causes of abuse from a younger person may be that the perpetrator was an abuse victim themselves, they're using drugs and/or alcohol, they never experienced proper parenting, or that they are suffering from a serious mood disorder that's not being treated.

It's too bad the NZ government no longer subsidises the Karitane Home Nurse program. When our son was born in 1981, a Karitane Nurse frequently made home visits during the first month to be sure we knew what we were doing.

This type of home visitation provides an outside set of eyes to keep a look out for any early signs of abuse or stress in the family that can lead to abuse.

Answer 2

Er, guys used to have kids at age 18 or such all the time without being too "young and immature". It's just recently that people are too young and immature until they're 30 or something. It's crazy. I mean, it's just complete bullshit. If they were 12-13yo, perhaps... not in their early 20s though. Although I'll admit anyone at any age can be immature.

Not all spouse abusers abuse their kids, and not all child abusers abuse their spouses... but yeah, I'd think that they're at an increased risk, and that they should've had some counseling immediately after abusing their spouse. I've hit my husband in the past, and I've had counseling etc and it's helped me learn to control myself. I was 20yo, but I wouldn't say I was too young and immature... rather, that I'd come from a past where my parents would abuse me and that I never learned how to normally interact with people. My dad was 28 when I was born and my mom 30 and my dad hit and kicked me until I was 17 and my mom still would forcefully grab and shove me if I'd get near her at the wrong time, last time that happened I was 19. She almost did so again last winter (but didn't because my husband was standing right next to me) but if she had I'd swear I'd have pushed her young and immaturely down the stairs.

There are no excuses for child abuse.

Answer 3

Sometimes there is a reason for a behavior, but that is not ever to be confused with an excuse.

I think that immaturity inof itself does not cause child abuse, however, someone that is young and immature does not have the life skills to handle situations and become more easily frustrated. In addition, especially in some males, their brains can still be developing impulse control into the early 20s.

I think that newspaper is somewhat valid in making a link between age and maturity and the behavior - I'm sure that if you look at the data, there would be a correlation between age and abuse - HOWEVER, it would be extremely dangerous to ever think this is a defense.

There are far too many men and women in that age range that DO rise to the occasion and do the best that they can.

Answer 4

I think there are many young fathers who never abuse their children. I think there are many young mothers who never abuse their children. Immaturity has a factor--but remember a forty year old can be just as immature. Remember back to that woman [I think she was +] who drowned all five of her children. That was pretty naive to think that the devil was actually talking to her and immature not to get help. Young? Not so much.

People like to use age as an excuse. Granted a lot more younger people do abuse children but older parents still do the same thing.

Answer 5

Child abuse is child abuse. What is something to consider is that the fathers were also abusers of women so they were violent, not immature or too young. A cumulative fact of him abusing the infant and mother equals violent offender who targets those he doesn't see as a threat to him.If that person that made that statement mean what they said, do they mean that in 10 years that man is all of sudden going to stop his abusive ways because of the passage of time? I don't think so.

Answer 6

Of course maturity has a little to do with it, but I think their backgrounds and their life growing up may have something to do with if too. I think most people male and female gain more patience and empathy as they get older. Even though I never abused my daughter when I had her at seventeen, I even noticed my patience threshold with the two babies I had at 25 and 26 was higher. I also think knowledge has a lot to do with it. As we get older we actually look for advice from parents, pastors, doctors, ect.. As younger people we think we know it all and can't learn from anyone. I think there are many factors and all need to be addressed. My heart goes out to those infants and the many children that are abused by the ones they trust and rely on the most. I pray those mothers have people who care about them, and trust in God to comfort them during these horrible times.

Answer 7

Using the statement "young and immature" is just an excuse. Many young parents raise children and manage not to kill them or abuse them. If the man has a history of domestic violence there is alot more problems then just his age.

Answer 8

It has nothing to do with lack of maturity. My daughter was 17 when she had her first baby & she never hurt her. There is no excuse for hurting an innocent baby. These people should be taken out into the streets & beaten to death by the families of these babies.I was a young single mother most of my oldest daughters life & I understand how stressful it can be but I never even thought about hurting her. If these "fathers" would work & support their babies, the mothers could stay at home. Although, a lot of mothers are killing their babies too. We need to stop letting them use excuses & punish them.

Answer 9

I think the statement is an excuse. What about the grandparents that abuse the kids? I guess they would say they were old and senile.

Anyone that could abuse a child is a very sick individual and needs to be locked away from society.

Answer 10

I think its disgusting. Whether they are young and immature or not that is no excuse. There are tons of young and immature fathers who are excellant fathers. Like my husband, we had our first when he was 18 and now are 2nd he is 23 and he is an amazing father. That statement makes it sound like its ok since they are young which im sorry is BS>