He has this awfull attitude and thinks that if he doesn't want to do something he doesnt have to. When told he can't do something, he responds with, "Fine if I can't do that then I'm not gonna do (this)." He has a hard time listening to my stepdad, which is his new grandpa. He never answers him, ignores his questions, and doesn't do what he tells him to do. I have tried all sorts of punishment, talking with him, u name it I have tried it. Any suggestions on what to do?
2007-05-26 10:18:55 · 13 answers · asked by hotcheerchik03 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
consistency! If you tell him to do something and he says fine then I am going to do this...you respond with a big, oh no you are not. and then you find a place for that child to sit until he is ready to do as he was told.
Use of a daily reward chart or dry erase board may be helpful for you. At this age you need immediate consequences and rewards that are not to far out or unobtainable. One example I give is when my son was grounded from tball he said he was glad he did not want to go anyway. He dressed and had to sit the bench...he needed to support his team and he had to explain to them why he could not play that day. needless to say we never had that same behavior again.
as for listening to other adults, you need to make sure they all speak to your child in the same manner and make it clear to your child that if they do not do what they are told to do while at grandpa's house then there will be consequences at home as well as at grandpa's
Good luck and remember He will be 18 in a blink of an eye and you can remind him of all of this when he is looking for an apartment of his own.
2007-05-26 10:39:29 · answer #1 · answered by Tawni B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Strong Willed Child
Dr James Dobson
2007-05-26 17:21:48 · answer #2 · answered by tom4bucs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stick to one punishment. We have four boys and 36 weeks with boy 5. We spank. At 4 kids are smarter then we give them credit for and try giving him a swat on the rear once. Not hard. Heck you dont even have to make him cry, but he will know you mean business. Dont let a 4 year old run your life. And when he talks back give him a little slap on the mouth. Trust me they will listen when you do this over and over and over until they decide "hey i dont like that so when i dont talk back i dont get in trouble" they will stop. You will see :)
2007-05-26 17:25:16 · answer #3 · answered by jess_n_flip 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whatever method you use, the most important thing is to stay consistent. Absolutely let him know that it is not acceptable. Trying different punishments keeps his bad behavior interesting for him. "I wonder what mommy will do next..." Even if the punishment you choose doesn't SEEM to effect him, keep doing the same thing. It does bother him! Its part of his fun to pretend that it doesn't. He will get tired of the whole thing too. Think about it, you're the grown up and his consistent behavior is driving you crazy. Flip it. Stick to your guns, it will pay off. And please, do not let his behavior embarrass YOU (this is another gratifying effect for him). You are in control and as long as you make it clear that his behavior will not be tolerated, no one will judge you.
2007-05-26 17:41:59 · answer #4 · answered by Carol G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Completely ignore your child when he acts like this. Children strive for attention. He will soon figure it out. I babysit two children, and when one misbehaves, we prented that child isnt there, and we play just the two of us, leaving him out. He balks, and cries. But after a few minutes, he realizes that playing with us is much more fun than being alone. Also, instill a reward system. If he doesn't help, no Sesame Street. If he does help, he gets an little toy.
2007-05-26 17:55:55 · answer #5 · answered by Jess . 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put him on a 'naughty step', like at the bottom of the stairs whenever he is being disobedient. Start off with five minutes, then if he continues being naughty, tell him he will have to spend more time on the 'naughty step'. Until he gets the idea. When he does good, really praise him and tell him that you're pleased with him. Hopefully he'll get the idea.
2007-05-26 17:28:33 · answer #6 · answered by Nicky T 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would tell him your not gonna talk like that and you will do whatever we say if he dont then either spank him or put him in the couner you are the boss not him if you start letting this go imagine what he will be like when he is 10 or even 15 you will not be able to manage him. good luck and just remember that spanking is not bad unless you are beating him. i got spanked when i was little and it works wounders if more people would they would not have kids that dont mind. but as long as you take care of this while he is young then you will be fine . good luck
2007-05-26 17:25:51 · answer #7 · answered by kylie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best book ever and easiest to follow...
123 Magic by Thomas Phelan
Right now your child is running the show. This book will take the wind out of his sails and give you back control if you will follow it EXACTLY.
Good luck!
2007-05-26 20:54:56 · answer #8 · answered by Edugator 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Possibly this is a "stage" thing. My four year old sounds close in behavior to yours.
mb
2007-05-26 17:37:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Four is sooooo challenging !!!
Wonderful, wonderful book: S.T.E.P.
http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Young-Children-Systematic-Effective/dp/0785411895
if a class is available in your area, it is worth every minute. Very simple, effective - "cause & effect" type of ideas. works on husbands too ;-)
2007-05-26 20:00:44 · answer #10 · answered by S P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋