HELP! What should I do?

Question

I am pregnant with my boyfriend Tom's Baby but I still have not told him or my family.
I am scared that if I tell him he will make me have an abortion. My family will disown me and I will have no were to go. at all.
Tom and I have been going out for about 10yr on and off. His dad is a drunk pervert and his mom -- well no one knows what happend to his mom. My parents have already threatend to send me to boot camp if I do not stop seeing Tom. when Tom and I talked about geting Married someday, he said, "I do not want to have kids, at least not right away, because right now I have berly enough to come and c u. I said that "I can help I have $ saved in the bank." But Tom refeused to let me help with the $ problem. He said " U need that $ for School after High School. So u can get a real good job in some safe naberhood and make a lot of $. so that when we do have kids they will have a better life than I did and they wont have to get a job at a young age." Please Help Me.

I told just told Tom, he went crazy (in a good way) he was laghfing and saying that I scared him to death with the way talked to him on the phone. I asked if he was mad at me, he said why would I be mad at u, u didn't do anything that u didn't want to. He said that I could keep the baby and that he would still marry me and he would exept the responsibility of beening a father to him/her and that he would love it for all of it's life. He said that he would love me no matter what desishion I made.
That made me cry, because it was so butiful and meaningful.
I really LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

you need to tell him and tell hm with or without him you are having the baby. i would tell my parents after your boyfriend knows. they might be mad st first but they Will deal with it. good luck with the baby!

Answer 2

Today is the day that you need to make some definite decisions about your life. In a matter of months you will be bringing another human being into the world and you have to be prepared. No matter what your family picture looks like, No matter what is going on with Tom, YOU have to have a game plan before this baby comes into the world.

The first part of this plan has to be coming clean with your family and your boyfriend. You have to tell them that you are pregnant and allow them to go through whatever emotions they are going to have. Whether they are upset or angry, or have no reaction at all, you owe it to them to tell them soon.

Your boyfriend has no say over what goes on with your body. He cannot force you to get an abortion. It is strictly a decision that should be made between you and your family.

As a young person having a baby, you have put yourself at a disadvantage because Ideally you want to be able to give this child everything it needs and wants. And, because you are still in high school and planning to go to college, it's not like you have a stable income to rely on. So now, you have to grow up pretty quickly and begin to prepare for this new baby.

I feel your pain and understand what you are going through. The only advice that I can give you is to tell your family as soon as possible and begin to prepare for this life altering change that is literally around the corner. Worrying about what Tom says or what Tom thinks is not going to do you any good, so I would encourage you to keep that stress to a minimum. If he didn't want to have children at this time he should have used protection or abstained from having sex until he was of a responsible age. You can't cry over spilled milk now. The baby is on it's way and YOU have to get ready.

This is the time in your life when you alone will have to make decisions based upon what's in your best interest and the best interest of your child. I would definitely like to encourage you to get prenatal care as soon as possible to ensure that your baby is healthy when it makes it's entrance into the world.

We all do things that many perceive as a mistake. However, you are strong enough and intelligent enough to overcome whatever obstacles come your way. Being a teenage mom will not prevent you from achieving your dreams. It may delay them a bit and you may have to go the long route. But if you work hard you will succeed and your child will be your inspiration.

Just for today, because I know that you are scared, I encourage you to gather your courage and tell them. Don't wait until it's too late. Your parents will be disappointed and angry, but they are your main source of support when times are bad so, give them the benefit of the doubt. I hope that things go well for you.

Answer 3

There's no point in dwelling on any mistakes you have made or what you could have done differently. I'm sorry you're in this situation.

Ultimately, the decision regarding this pregnancy belongs to YOU. Don't let anyone push you in a direction that you do not want to go. If Tom chooses not to support you, then that's tragic, but you'll have to deal with it. That's the sad truth :(. If he truly cares about you & loves you, then he'll be there for you no matter what decision you make....& if he isn't, then be thankful that you know now so that you can plan better for your own future. As for telling your parents/family....it's obvious that they care about you. I'm sure they've only been forbidding your acquaintance with Tom because they're trying to protect you (even though you may not think so & it may not seem so...). I know it must be incredibly difficult to discuss this with them, but it seems like they'd be there for you. This is a hard burden to carry on your own. Reach out to someone. You also have the option of adoption if caring for this child or getting an abortion isn't something you can fathom. Please keep in mind that your decision not only affects YOUR future but the future of that child inside you. Stay strong & make sure that the decision you make is something you can live with for the rest of your life....don't allow someone else to make that decision FOR you. Be in charge of your life. Be responsible.

Good Luck .

Answer 4

You are too young for all these responsibilities and stress. You should be paying attention to your studies and career but chose the other route instead.

I would sit down and talk to your mother or father...who ever you feel comfortable with. Make sure you tell them you are sorry to not obey them.

You live with them and you have betrayed their trust and love by getting pregnant. But they are still your parents. Show them your respect and regret. If they see love, respect and regret in your voice and body language, chances are they will help you.

Tom cannot take care of himself, how can he take care of you and the child. That doesnot mean you should get rid of Tom. That means your first responsiblitiy is toward this child. Protect the child and make sure the child has what he needs.

If Tom is the man that he claims, he will show up to take care of you and the child. If not, I won't be surprised.

As long as the child is in good living conditions, you should be fine.

God Luck.

Answer 5

If Tom doesn't want help, that's not your problem.
Your problem is your health and the baby's health.
My advice is to give the baby up for adoption. It will be the hardest thing you have ever done, but the baby deserves two parents who are ready to raise her, and will provide for her. I don't know the whole senario, but I think that right now you won't be able to properlly care for the child. Contact a local shelter for pregnant mothers and get help.
Do not abort the baby. Decide what you will do with her and then calmly tell your parents the plan.
Good luck, I will pray for you.

Answer 6

The decision is on your hands. You just have to evaluate what you have, what you want, and what your possibilities are.
It' almost obvious that after 10 years of being with you and still not sure if he wants to commit, he probably won't help you in much.
It is hard to tell your family, being there done that, but after the fact once the baby comes, usually they get used to it and start raising interest.
You first have to make sure that having the baby is really what you want. Financially, there are lost of places and organizations that help single mothers it's up to you to look for them.
Having a baby is not easy, but it is rewarding when you commit to them
If you do get an abortion, think about the risks. Also think about your emotional status, and the guilt that may come later on, you may regret it your whole life for not giving yourself and your child the opportunity to live.

Answer 7

How can you have been going out with someone for 10 years and still be a child living at home? 5,6, or 7 year olds don't "go out with guys". Try to tell you parents and let them help. You sound like you are still a child and cannot handle this on your own.
They won't send a pregnant girl to Boot Camp.

Answer 8

My dear,there is little help for you.We are each responsible for our actions,as you now find yourself.One thing that you should not do however,is to get an abortion. I believe that because you've asked for help,that you have been raised in church,and you are afraid of losing the love of your parents.You may love Tom,and maybe he loves you,but if he suggests that you get an abortion,you need to get as far away from him as possible.Abortion is nothing but murder of a life that didn't ask to be brought into this world.
Your parents more than likely will not abandon you.Even if they threatened you with bootcamp at one time.If they have wrung their hands because they found it unconceivable for the things you have done at times,then more than likely they threatened you to get you to do right.You must go to them and tell them that you are pregnant so that you can begin to receive proper care of yourself and your unborn child.If you do not trust their reaction,then go to someone that you do trust,say a pastor,for example,and tell him.Maybe he will be willing to come to your parents' house and help you to break the news to your Mom and Dad.

Answer 9

you have to tell tom and your parents.however tom needs reminding that if he didn't want to be a daddy he should have used a condom.it was both of you in that bed not just you.
you have some soul searching to do young lady.
can you really manage a baby now,is it practical,who will take care of it while you are at school?
how are you going to pay for it?
think deep and good luck.
but remember ultimately,its your body and your baby.
you make the decision nobody else.

Answer 10

Hey mate.

I guess I'm a bit late to give you advice, but I'd like to congradulate you on your pregnancy and that Tom is ok with it.

Your a lucky girl and I wish all the best for you and your new family...how great does that sound...new family!

When I read your question I almost cried with joy.

Again, congradulations, I hope you have a happy and healthy baby!

Answer 11

How old are you? No matter how old you are it is your choice to keep the baby or not. And if you are 18 your parents have no right to tell you what to do. Just please remember that the day after you got pregnant that babies heart was beating. There are places that'll help you with bills and formula and food, ask your doctor he/she will give you numbers to call.