SINGLE MOTHERS....How would you change visitation...?

Question

If we could change the laws, would you let the father have the kids on an equal time frame, and give up child support?

I for one would have loved six months of every other weekend visitation.

And then I could have my kids back for 6 months.

And we wouldn't have to worry about Child Support, would we, because, If he had them half the time, I could afford to have them half the time.

I've had my 3 kids 24/7 for the last 8.5 years. He takes my boy almost 4 days a month, when he feels like it...but not the girls for the last 8 years. Yes, they are his. No, they were not small the girls were 12 and 9 when he left and my son was 5. Yes, the oldest is in college. No, he will not pick up when she gets up the courage to call. He has hurt her terribly as she thought she was Daddy's girl and he thought she was Disposable.

I think it is time the courts made fathers accountable as parents, not a paycheck.

What do you think?

Guys, I had a 9 year old boy say to me: "When I grow up I am going to be a Good Dad. I am going to take my kids Every Other Weekend."

What else can I say? We're giving a whole generation a very, very wrong impression here.

Cuvelx: Maybe a little pre-nup stating any kids from the marriage will spend equal time with mother and father? Love it!!!!

Answer 1

Um, I'd just like to point out that visitation and custody can be established by both parents, and that the courts usually only step in with an order in contested cases. It's not a LAW that one parent only gets weekends.

When I was a child, my parents did have completely equal custody. We spent one month at moms, then one month at dads. Any holidays or birthdays that fell in those months were spent with that parent. And to switch the order of months each year we would spend both August and September with the parent who had custody in August and then switch back to one month at a time. And even with that arrangement my dad still paid child support to my mom, because the mathmatical equation that they use to figure child support came out that way.

No one can make a parent be a good parent if they don't want to be--a court order certainly isn't going to do it.

Answer 2

I would love for my kids to share equal time if their father were responsible enough and actually kept a residence for them to go to. Right now, he's living from one friend to another, so I can't realistically expect him to keep them every other week. I've had friends that grew up in homes where they were one week with one parent and the next week with the other parent. It was difficult when they got older (teens) as they were always feeling like they were in a state of moving. My friend always had to take things from one house to another as she would always think of things she wanted with her that were not already at the second house. On the other hand, she had a great relationship with both parents, and neither parent had to be the good guy trying to spoil them to make up for not being around enough. I would think in the long run, the children would develop a stronger relationship with shared time. I definitely would love to have time off in between weeks. I would miss them terribly, but I could spend the rest of the week focusing on what needed to get done, so that when they came home on the weekend, we could go do fun things. Right now, my entire weekend is spent catching up from the week (cleaning, laundry, etc.) It is overwhelming and I'm lucky if their father comes over once a month to spend time with them. As for the child support, I don't see that anyway, so 1/2 the year would make it easier to manage financially. Definitely something to advocate for, and there are dads out there that want equal time.

Answer 3

If I had my way, parents should have worked it out from beginning. Beginning meaning before getting pregnant. You choose to have children with this person and this was the outcome, maybe you shouldn't of had children with this women but you did. Anyway, fathers are treated unfairly in this country but if I was you I would push the courts for the 6 months or more!! The more we push the courts and threaten the laws the more change will happen. Or you could take the kids and live in Mexico or even better Canada

Answer 4

I most defenitely agree. I think these men need to start being with these kids and taking care of responsibilities instead of thinking a paycheck takes care of everything, it's not about the money all the time it's about being around theses kids spending quallity time. They think they pay a little support and that's taking care of a kid well they are WRONG!!!! don't worry what goes around comes around those kids grow up to be adults one day and these men (fathers) have to answer to these children not us MOMS!!!!

Answer 5

Continue to make your daughter feel loved. It's his lose your daughter is distant for greatness and quest who she's going to share it with. :-)