Does it mean your kids are considered "poor" if they are not given all the best things?

Question

My brother called my childrens poor because I don't buy my 4 childrens the best things, buy there clothes at a high end store, and let them sit there, not doing any work. I have 4 childrens and my brother has 1 child. He tells me that I have bad parenting skills. I buy their clothes at Macy's and I buy there shoes at kids footlocker, its not like I buy there stuff at goodwill or anything, they have plenty to eat, and I buy games to them, they have to earned a good grade to buy all the good stuff. I don't want my childrens to be lazy slobs.

Answer 1

I was raised with limited things but got what I really wanted, my husband was 1 of 8 and they did not have much as far as toys went - clothes were always hand-me-downs - he and his siblings turned out well - they were not poor - but they weren't rich. Having material things does not make your children turn out well. Being rich or poor is a lable that us adults are sensitive about, most children don't care - girls getting into the middle school age start to care though. But if they are taught differently - that clothes and toys don't mean anything. I have a friend that gets everything her daughter wants for her - her daughter doesn't appreciate things - she will play with that toy for maybe a week and then forget about it and want something else that is advertised on TV. My son's (yes he is only 2) toys only just started being real toys. Most of his toys in the past have been ones that I have made him. And many times he prefers them to the ones that I have baught - I made him a garage for his cars out of a diaper box with levels and ramps and he plays with that for a least an hour a day. His clothes are hand-me-downs and new from Target and old Navy. Teaching children good work ethics can start very young - the idea of trading - give something up to get something is perhaps the first way, but helping them understand that they have to work for things - things are not just always going to appear when you want them. YOU DO NOT HAVE BAD PARENTING SKILLS. Knowing how children go through things so fast - it is just a wiser thing to spend less money on things that aren't going to be used. When they grown up and stop growing - then they can get things that are of better quality because they are going to use them longer - but by that time they should be able to buy their own things mostly. We want our children to have the best, but I think that many times we use our children - not knowingly - as status symbles.

Answer 2

No, you are not a bad parent just because you don't buy the best. You don't need to shop at Macy's and Footlocker, either. It isn't the material things that are important anyway. Money isn't what makes people poor, but the intangibles. If you love your children, and they know it, then they will never be poor.
It isn't wrong to teach children to have a good work ethic or to have good morals. That is your job as a parent. I wouldn't worry about what your brother said, rather I would feel sorry for his child.
Just love your children, they aren't poor and You will never bee poor if they learn your lessons.

Answer 3

Your children will be very rich for your NOT handing them the world on a silver platter! Even if we could afford the high-end lifestyle, I wouldn't go that road. My kids are coming out of their teen years now & into young adulthood & I am so thankful for all the things they did NOT have! They are both hard workers & can budget their money well. My daughter has felt more pressure from the girls when they shop - but she's learned to navigate that on her own & is a wonderful bargain shopper. She uses her own earnings to buy clothes... then I surprise her with reimbursing her when she does very well stretching her money. When she feels the pain of it in her own wallet, the dollars go twice as far - & she's extra pleased with herself. Some of the friends over the years have snubbed her - but it's only made her stronger realizing the shallowness that can accompany such a materialistic lifestyle. Stick by your values - Quality is available in all price ranges if we look!

Answer 4

Growing up we had hand me downs, went to yard sales, and Goodwill. That never meant we were poor! When we wanted something we had to earn it, by doing chores, getting good grades, volunteering, etc. My parents instilled a strong work ethic in us. Just because we didn't have the newest clothes or shoes didn't mean we couldn't afford it or that they didn't really love us as much. Your brother will see the importance of a dollar when he has 3 more kids. I love my parents for the life they gave me.

Answer 5

Give me a break. You're teaching kids real values when you don't always give them "the best" of everything! From a family of five, we shopped frequently at second-hand shops (you can find many good deals) and bulk grocery stores. We never went without food or clothes, or even entertainment items like games and movies. Still, we never realized that growing up we were "poor", because our parents had so much love and attention to give us.

In the end, what's really important in your kids' lives? That they have the best of everything (while you work yourself to the bone to provide these things for them) or that you're there to guide and shape them into well-rounded individuals who appreciate more than the material aspects of life?

Answer 6

Do NOT listen to your brother. Having one child versus four means you need four times the money to give everything to your children. Macy's is a very nice store along with Footlocker. Tell your brother that you are doing the best you can and he needs to appreciate it more.

Answer 7

Ugh- you are a bad parents for not spoiling your child?
Give me a break.

No wonder we have so many self righteous ****** teenagers running around demanding the steak but only working for the bologna. Tell your brother to get his snobbish head out of his rear-end.

Where you buy your childrens clothes has absolutely nothing to do with your parenting skills... and parents that really think that are only going to breed materialism within their own offspring.

Answer 8

I wouldn't listen to your brother, chances are that his child is going to be the "poor" one when it grows up. In my eyes the word "poor" refers to how you were raised! It don't mean they don't have the best things or the least amount of money, just keep doing what you are doing, you are teaching your children a valuable lesson in life. So, even if you buy their things at Wally World you are being a good parent. Don't give in to what your brother says, chances are he gives his child everything that it wants, and in due time that will catch up to him... Rather it be when he is going to have another child, "Major sibling rivalry will occur" or his child will grow up "Not respecting the value of a dollar and be the most stuck up kid you can imagine."

So, don't sweat it, he is probably insecure about his own parenting skills, just don't listen to him, keep up the good work.

Answer 9

Wait a minute...Growing up, I wish I was bought things at macys and footlocker.My single parent (mom) did what she could. Your bro only has one kid so all the stuff goes to the child he has. You have 4 kids ,so you know, money doesn't go a long way in that department. My opinion- your brother is stupid.

Answer 10

do no longer permit your brother or sort names dictate your parenting- or if it particularly is the wonderful parenting. it particularly is all a gimmick and your unfavorable brother fell for it! What might it count in case you have been procuring footwear at Walmart than Macy's? They the two have an identical objective, sometimes no longer an identical high quality, besides the undeniable fact that it does no longer propose it particularly is relatively any greater advantageous in case you spend additional funds on it. i'm confident your little ones do no longer even understand the version and in the event that they do, it particularly is because of the fact somebody has pointed it out to them. in case you could no longer paintings problematical for it, than what's it properly worth? keep in mind that saying? sounds like various of their care is met and that they've unconditional love. Can that call sort sweater make up for each and all the hours you had to spend at paintings to pay for that? i do no longer think of so. shop your priorities rapidly, rejoice with your little ones.