my bf told me i could lose weight, he asked me if i was ok, and i said yes, but avoided him the rest of the day. he knew i was upset, but didnt try to make me feel better or even try to talk to me until i wrote him a note sayin that i needed a break and that i didnt get the connection between "absolutly gorgeous" and fat... he told me he didnt call me fat and that i was beautiful. we had our 8th grade promotion thursday and i wasnt going to go because i thought all my dresses made me look fat. he told me i had to come because he loved me... which made no sense to me. he has also been depressed and was cryin in homeroom the other day and his friends supposibly went to the consular and asked him if he would talk to me. so he did and he told me i should be mad at him. my mom found out and she said i should break up with him, and so do most of my friends, the other part of my friends r his friends 2 so of course they dont want me to break up w/ him. idkf i should or not, bc idk if love him
2007-05-26 05:15:42 · 20 answers · asked by hotchikdancer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're getting upset because your bf was honest with you?! He told you how he felt about you and now you are thinking about breaking up with him?! He probably isn't lying when he tells you that you're "absolutely gorgeous". I recently asked my bf to be completely honest w/ me about my weight (cuz I know I've gained a lot here recently) and he told me that I could stand to lose a little weight but that he loved me no matter what happened to my body. Him telling me that and actually being honest with me has inspired me to lose the weight that I've gained. If you're gonna get mad over him being honest with you, then maybe you aren't ready for a relationship just yet. Maybe you need to work on your self esteem first then get into a relationship. If you don't love yourself and your body, you aren't gonna have a very productive relationship anyways. You also need to tell him that what he said hurt your feelings. How is he to know that he did if you don't tell him? He prolly isn't psycic.
Also, you said yourself that he didn't call you "fat", he just said you need to lose some weight. Don't take his words out of context and then get upset about it.
2007-05-26 05:24:39 · answer #1 · answered by Vet_Techie_Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should break up with him, not because he said something stupid( which he did) But because you will never feel good around him anymore. I also think you have serious issues with your self esteem -you said you didn't want to go to your grad. because you thought you looked fat.
I have a feeling you asked your BF if you looked fat and he said , "well lose weight if you feel you look fat" That would be a typical guy's answer. Fix the problem. It wasn't about you, it was about how you felt about yourself.
Never ask a guy if you look fat-that just points out the fat to them and makes them notice and then they have to either lie or tell the truth- which would you want to hear?
2007-05-26 05:26:39 · answer #2 · answered by weswe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not let him control you this much. You have control over your emotions. I dont know what his point was in calling you fat. Maybe to make you feel insecure and unlovable so you would be under his manipulative control? If he calls you bad things, then he has this sort of sick power if you stick around. He knows all he has to do is call you names, say sorry, and you stick around. He holds all the cards, he knows you wont leave him, and youre pretty much under his spell. Scr3w him. Take your power back by leaving him. He is playing immature mind games, this isnt a healthy relationship. Get out of there. Good luck hun.
2007-05-26 05:21:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!!! Hun, kick his skinny butt out! If anyone ever called me fat, I would give them a nice punch in the face! How could u take that from him!?!?!? It's good u said to him that u needed a break. Even if he says ur beautiful, he still called u fat and I would never be able to forgive him because obviously, if he thinks ur fat he doesn't really love u. gud luck with this very mean person! lol. ciao.
2007-05-26 05:21:48 · answer #4 · answered by cece#2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is crying he is obviously going through some crisis. If you can't forgive what he said, it's rather pointless to continue in the relationship. Issues about weight are very sensitive but only you can decide whether to break up with him or not....
2007-05-26 05:22:00 · answer #5 · answered by Jacqui Waze 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just remember, this isn't the last time a guy will be clumsy with his words in your lifetime......sometimes they surprise themselves at what comes out of their mouths..... I have a husband that has learned to choose his words more carefully and my sons - well they are learning since they are around your age and have girlfriends....but even though my sons have been raised by this h*ll on wheels mom that doesn't cowar in the corner and have taught them to respect women and how to address us, they are still going to say things.....some things just don't bad to them. It takes a guy awhile to truly understand the spot he is in when his woman asks him - Do I look fat in this?
2007-05-26 05:20:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
expensive Asker, i've got had a similar difficulty! I never fairly knew that to declare to adult men yet I do now! purely be like "we'd desire to consistently see human beings" and supply him the clarification why OR "(say motives) i'm falling for a distinctive guy,you have replaced plenty because of the fact the start of they 3 hundred and sixty 5 days. i don't understand what occurred to the(insert call) I knew. to tell you the certainty your plenty distinctive than i presumed you have been and that i think of that's time we'd desire to consistently see human beings" i'm hoping I helped!
2016-10-08 04:02:00 · answer #7 · answered by aceta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing that is unforgivable (execpt murder or rape), I called my girlfriend a horrible word that is way much worse than fat, she will forgive me for that. But all I can say is you do what your heart tells you to not what other people say and think. If your heart says let him go, then do it but if it says keep him then keep him. My opinion is, to go with what your heart says and not what everybody else is saying or telling you to.
2007-05-26 05:25:02 · answer #8 · answered by furlowredneck 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't forgive him then you should break up with him, but it sounds like he is going through a really tough time too, so maybe before you decide you should have a long talk with him.
2007-05-26 05:21:16 · answer #9 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't even need to read that block of text. If it is unforgivable then break up with him. How can you be in a relationship with him if you can't forgive him?
2007-05-26 05:18:14 · answer #10 · answered by Endex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋