I'm 18 and I'm a virgin. And I dont have a problem with that, on the contrary, I am very proud of that, but my question or my concern is that, usually people my age has already had sex, so now that I'm ready to have sex I'm afraid that I dont have any experience and my partner has and i dont want to disappoint him, but like I dont know what to do. I really want to be with him, but I wanna do it "right"... We are just starting our relationshp, we've had a couple of dates, and I'm not saying that I would do it right away with him, but I want to be prepare for when the moment is right... Also, and this is embarassing... I haven't kiss anyone, not with tongue. When most of my friends were dating I was taking care of my family, and my studies and other stuff, so I never really was "on" that... The thing I most hate is that I'm very hot, (and I'm not bragging, so dont take me wrong) so everybody thinks I've already done that, so it make it even worse... So any help would be appreciate it. =)
2007-05-26 03:08:52 · 22 answers · asked by SB2217 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
For answer 7. Could you read? I said "I know we've ha a couple of dates and I'M NOT SAYING I'M GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM RIGHT AWAY but I JUST WANT TO BE PREPARED..." I'm not stupid, why do you think I haven't have sex yet, I wont jump to the first guy I see... I just want suggestions... that's all...
2007-05-26 03:18:46 · update #1
First of all, make sure this is the guy you want to loose your virginity to. I am a guy so I can tell you that there are many guys who will make a girl think she is the most important thing in his life and then when he gets what he wants, he's gone. If he is truly the one then you should be able to talk to him and let him know how you feel. If he is the one he will understand and he will be patient with you. One thing to keep in mind, just because most people are having sex doesn't mean you have to if you are not ready. As my mother always said "if everyone else is jumping off a cliff, are you going to jump too". If he is the one then don't worry. Nature has been guiding people in how to have sex for millions of years. Just relax and follow your feelings. There may be some people who will argue with me, but there is not a "right" way or a "wrong" way. As far as kissing, again just follow your feelings. You will be amazed at how natural things will be to you. Also, practice, practice, practice. I'm sure your boyfriend will not mind helping you out in this area. I'm sure you probably don't want to hear this, but I am more than old enough to be your father. When you get to be a little older (or even and old fuddy duddy like me) you will learn that what other people think about you is not nearly as important as who you really are. Take your time and be sure he is the right one. If you do decide to have sex, make sure you use protection (condoms). If not you may have to ask yourself, is this the person I want to be the father of my child. Despite what people may tell you, you can get pregnant the first time, so use protection and don't let him talk you out of using it.
2007-05-26 03:27:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It all depends on him. If you're close, you two might want to start making out. :) When you're ready, let him know. But also tell him you're a virgin, and to be gentle. If he's a good guy, he will listen. In most cases it will hurt, but if he's gentle about it, there's a good chance the pain will ease and your first time will be an enjoyable experience.
Also, make sure he uses a condom the first time. Even if you're not on the Pill, if he has experience, there is always a chance he may have picked up an STD. Don't do it without a condom until you're sure he's clean.
2007-05-26 04:35:02 · answer #2 · answered by Orlando Rays 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm 22, into a 3 year relationship, and I'm still a virgin and I'm proud of it. Why? Because I believe premarital sex is wrong. So wait for marriage first. Save it all till that day onwards. You shouldnt lose your virginity to the person whom you think is THE ONE because things might happen. My boyfriend and I are both virgin and we dont mind not knowing what to do because we dont mind learning about it on the day of marriage. Love is all about learning from each other, the mistakes, the likes and dislikes. You dont have to have sex with him to prove to him that you love him. Love is not about sex. It's about feelings, care, being there for each other, and cant live without the person. If he dumps you because you dont want to have sex, he's not the one for you. He's just after your virginity. Save it for someone who really loves you for who you are and not how you want to impress him.
I dont french kiss with my boyfriend too because I dont feel comfortable with it. It doesnt matter. Love is about being comfortable with each other and understanding the likes and dislikes. It's not embarassing not to have kissed anyone. Every thing has its first time.
I'm in studying, taking care of my family, enjoying my life with friends and also my boyfriend. I've no hurry in doing things that couples usually do. Do not rush. Take it easy. You've jsut started your relationship and you want to take the next step further already. If he's yours, he's fated yours and no one will take him away from you. :) He's God sent angel just for you. Cherish the moments you have with him and not just trying to impress him and feeling worried because you've never done it before. Just be yourself and let love lead the way. :)
2007-05-26 03:24:34 · answer #3 · answered by Lynn 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Last point first. Other people's opinions in this circumstance are pointless, especially at your age. In a couple of years, you probably won't even see people you went to high school with except once in a blue moon. So, don't worry about them.
Second, as for doing it "right", I've found what's "right" is whatever you both enjoy. I used to have a girlfriend who tried to change positions once, & she fell off the bed into the floor! We laughed about that until after our relationship ended (one of the few relationships I've had that's ended on fairly good terms). We were together on & off for 6 years, & there were a multitude of other things she & I did, both in & out of the bedroom, that may not have been "right", but they bonded us because they were unique experiences we shared. She still picks on me when I see her about the time I pulled over to ask a cop for directions... only to discover it was a mannequin! So, be honest with him from the start, make sure you don't rush, & try to make it fun for both of you. Trust me, us guys are less concerned with technique than we are with enthusiasm. Best of luck on an enjoyable first time, & hopefully a long, memorable relationship.
2007-05-26 03:19:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take your time definitely you got a good thing going so far (virginity at 18) don't just come out and say it, but have pride in that fact. When I saw this question I had a physiological diagram all planned out but I guess we don't need that. Anyway It will happen and it's one of those things you can't really mess up so long as you care about one another.
2007-05-26 03:17:50 · answer #5 · answered by Cam Z 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Girl, you are about to make what could be one of the biggest mistake of you life. You should be so proud to be a virgin at 18. From someone who has totally regretting giving up mine..........I'd suggest you wait until you are married!!! Don't follow the crowd.
PS. I have noticed here that very few of the guys are saying that you should wait. You don't know how precious you are.........Trust me!! If you are hot and a virgin........what more could you ask for? To your "husband" you would be the real deal!!!
2007-05-26 03:15:41 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Mandeville 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It seems like your a responsible girl, you shouldn't let these "sex" thoughts get in your way. Your lucky that your still a virgin at 18. Stay a virgin until your with a person who loves you and respects you. Don't waste it on someone who won't be there for the rest of your life.
2007-05-26 03:13:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You've had a couple of dates and you're thinking you're about ready to jump in bed? How'd you make it to 18?
No offense ... I know how horny you young people are. It just sounds odd.
Anyway, I think that if you have this much anxiety about performance, you're not really ready to get with this guy. Intimacy is about trust, and if it's going to be any good, you have to feel close enough (or tough-hearted enough) that you aren't afraid of what he'll think of you.
2007-05-26 03:14:56 · answer #8 · answered by zilmag 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
when the time comes it comes. let the relationship grow a little more before, and take little steps. it might also help to let your partner know that your inexperienced, that way they shouldn't have unreal expectations of you.
Also some people believe in waiting until marriage, but that is just their way of life and not yours. and safe sex in a must, if your beliefs don't let you use protection then don't have sex.
2007-05-26 03:16:43 · answer #9 · answered by asguard 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i would say wait but if you dont want to, you need to talk with the man you are going to have sex with and tell him you are a virgin and have not done a whole lot of kissing, and if he cares about you he would want to take it easy with you and help you get through it.......if he doesnt understand and makes fun of you then ditch him and find someone who cares about you
good luck
2007-05-26 03:15:46 · answer #10 · answered by kc 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋