Would you please help me rephrase this in formal acceptable English?

Question

The process of economic progress in our country has entered a new phase. This phase is characterized by the variations in the sources of production and the sources of income. This can be done by focusing more on the economic and agricultural development and improving the service sector. These aims are clearly included in the country’s futuristic strategic plans. In order for us to reach this goal; we need to take into consideration the objective circumstances as well as the quality and quantity of the available production resources in our country. This leads to many conclusions, the most important of which are:
Firstly: It is of extreme necessity to achieve maximum benefit from modern technology in all fields, especially in production and service sectors.
Secondly: The private sector needs to participate effectively in achieving the goals of our country’s development. This means that modern technology should be used effectively by the private sector to achieve high productivity.

Answer 1

The process of economic progress in our country has entered a new phase. This phase is characterized by the variations in the sources of production and income. This can be achieved by focusing more on economic and agricultural development and by improving the country's service sector.

These aims are included in the country’s strategic plans for the near future. In order for us to attain this goal, objective circumstances have to be taken into consideration as well as the quality and quantity of the available resources for production in our country.

This therefore leads to several conclusions, most important of which are:

First: It is extremely necessary to maximize output stemming from modern technologies in all fields, namely in the production and service sectors.

Second: The enthusiastic participation of the private sector is a requirement towards the achievement of set goals for the country’s development by the effective utilization of modern technologies.

This means that modern technology should be used effectively by the private sector in order to achieve high productivity.

Answer 2

The process of economic progress in our country has entered a new phase.

This sounds redundant, don't you just mean "economic progress" not the "process of progress"



This phase is characterized by the variations in the sources of production and the sources of income.

Not sure what you mean by "variations" here. Or "sources of production". Do you mean the "sources of people's income"?

This can be done by focusing more on the economic and agricultural development and improving the service sector.

There's nothing in the previous sentences to indicate what "this can be done" means. What's "this" and who's doing it?


These aims are clearly included in the country’s futuristic strategic plans.

You probably mean "future" or just leave it out entirely. "Futuristic" usually means like an unrealistic possible future world. But "future plans" is kind of redundant.


In order for us to reach this goal; we need to take into consideration the objective circumstances as well as the quality and quantity of the available production resources in our country.

Again, what goal? You want a comma, not a semi-colon, because "in order to reach this goal" is not a complete clause. While you're at it, maybe take out "in order".

This leads to many conclusions, the most important of which are:

What's "this" now? Are these really conclusions?

Firstly: It is of extreme necessity to achieve maximum benefit from modern technology in all fields, especially in production and service sectors.


Firstly: It is absolutely necessary that modern technologies offer the maximum benefit in all fields, especially in the production and service sectors.

Secondly: The private sector needs to participate effectively in achieving the goals of our country’s development. This means that modern technology should be used effectively by the private sector to achieve high productivity.

This is okay, if vague. I'd prefer "to achieve" rather than "in achieving".

Answer 3

A few comments...

1) remove the semi-colon in "reach this goal; we need to take" and replace it with a comma

2) remove the colon in "important of which are:" and say "important of which are as follows"

3) Replace "Firstly" with "First"

4) Replace "Secondly" with "Second"

Other than that, it looks really good.

Answer 4

i just want to say , if you're learning english, and that is not your mother tongue, you've basically just proved that you can write formal english better then many people in america lol

well done

Answer 5

Looks good to me. Don't know what class this is for but recheck your conclusions to make sure they aren't circular.

Good Luck

Answer 6

by looking at your picture i can now understand why your looking so pissed o.f.f.

Answer 7

I would but that's YOUR homework kid