My girlfriend finished we 4 weeks ago (after a 12 months) claiming that 'she changed as a person'.
We had everything going for us but she was insecure and liked a lot of attention (self admittedly). Despite my best efforts she was always seeking reassurance on whether I missed her if she went out for few hours, if I still loved her, concerned that she loved me more than I loved her and that I might rather be with someone else. She didn't believe in the 'honeymoon' period either.
She quits her job 8 weeks ago to do course so that she have a new career. She meets another guy and starts to have feelings for him. 3 weeks in to the course she confesses that she doesn't know what she wants anymore. Just 5 days after that I'm out of her life and a few days after that she started dating this other guy!
Before she started her course 'she loved me more than i would ever know', after she finished it she 'had feelings for me but coudn't love me like I wanted her to'.
Is this a bit messed up?
2007-05-26 00:16:56 · 20 answers · asked by martin5 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She is 30 years old. The course was a fitness course and this guy joined for the first two weeks. In the first week he took another girl out on the course who had boyfriend problems (a meal!), in his second and final week her drove to our house every day so that my girlfriend could follow him to the gym where the course was being taken.
She was married for 10 years before being with me. This fizzled out after the first 5 years because she didn't love him anymore.
She quit a well paid job to do this course (and she had trouble with her bank balance then). It's going to be a while before she's going to be earning anything like what she was on before. Talk about changing everything in your life in one go!
I just can't understand while I feel this bad and she has been able to move on so quickly?
2007-05-26 00:43:16 · update #1
She was not happy in the relationship. That is why she was so insecure. Get over her, move on. You need to get out there and meet other people. Don't settle down for a while, just enjoy being single. When she tries to get you back, don't fall for it.
2007-05-26 00:23:07 · answer #1 · answered by lcmcpa 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like she just needs some space right now. She's only 20 and has been with you since she was 16 right? So for the last 4 years she hasnt really had a chance to be single and get to know herself. Everybody needs time on their own before hitting the age of getting married. Your only young once after all. I highly doubt it that she wants someone else right now, she probably wants to be on her own due to the fact that she has been in a relationship for so long. Why would she want to jump into another one now? I know that it hurts, believe me I've been there...but now is the time for you to focus on yourself as well. Think about it, now you can do all the things you havent been able to do for the last 4 years. Go out and have some fun, I know it's hard but it's the only way to heal. In the end if you and ur ex are meant to be then you will be together again. Good luck!
2016-04-01 09:07:01 · answer #2 · answered by Kera 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude u didn't give her wat she wanted when she wanted. It's as simple as that. It's harsh but true. Haven't u ever dumped some1 when u felt dissatisfied with some1? U r just feelin cheated, either u can sit n moan n wish her all the cursed things for her or u can maybe look @ it from her perspective and move on. The details stated with ur question seem 2 be so 1sided that it beggars belief whether all the giving was from ur side or did she also contribute in this relationship for it 2 continue for a year. If she didn't then I'd say Good Riddance. Girls r complicated but most of em do appreciate honesty and few kisses every now and then, even if they are for no reason. Take Care.
2007-05-26 00:43:42 · answer #3 · answered by ZZZZZZZZ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
love has many many mysteries, emotions and mixed feelings when you are not with the right person or (soul mate) love hurts because of this, and many other factors .... however love can be the best life anybody could ever dream of with constant happiness and fun with a pure undeniable feeling respect and trust which will come natural without trying and a whole lot more "IF" you find the right person in life....., if someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, foregive them , for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to who you open your heart to. If someone loves you, love them back uncondittionally, not only because they love you but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you never would have seen or felt without them .Make everyday count.Apprichiate every moment and take from it everything you can, for you may never be able to expierience it again.
2007-05-26 00:21:35 · answer #4 · answered by insenergy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We don't understand why sometimes ,it is left for us to work it out.
Its like a woman talking to you when their facing the opposite way doing something and your expected to hear all whats said.
having said that if she wants the attention now and is not satisfied with you then move on and find someone who appreciates you more .
2007-05-29 03:38:58 · answer #5 · answered by david c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's confused, and this guys a snake. She needs to see what she really wants, maybe because he is so into her right now she thinks that he will always be where as in your realtionship you each also have friends etc. Her rapid change of mind is just a warning for you to steer clear of her until she gets it together. She must care for you enough to give the heads up before all of this came to fruition. I hope she realizes that you don't fall in and out of love overnight before she loses you in her corner.
2007-05-26 00:23:35 · answer #6 · answered by fbarkon 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That relationship will not work either. A person has to love themsleves before they can love someone else and make a relationship work. She is obviously very insecure and not capable of that at this time in her life.
2007-05-26 00:23:58 · answer #7 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, it's the usual stuff a woman comes out with when she's fallen out of love with you and met someone else. I've heard this type of thing many times before and experienced it myself too.
Just get yourself back on track and enjoy yourself again.
2007-05-26 00:21:43 · answer #8 · answered by Nexus6 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She sounds a really selfish person and you are well out of this. What goes around comes around,. She's not been seeing this guy for long and it will probably backfire!
Your heart will mend and you deserve someone better.
2007-05-26 00:22:30 · answer #9 · answered by Ylang-Ylang 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st question - she's undecided on what she wants - that much is VERY CLEAR
2nd question: is this a bit messed up? - WITHOUT A DOUBT
U seem to be going with the flow. Keep moving - u don't seem to be too broken up about it.
2007-05-26 00:23:04 · answer #10 · answered by Brown'n 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋