end of my tether?

Question

I have a 2 year old daughter (well 2 yrs old in june),
i am almost at the point of doing something i will seriously regret,
i cant leave the livingroom for one minute, because she ends up, doing something to the computer which ends up taking me ages to fix, or she is bug*ering about with the dvd machine, or she has managed to get hold of a pen, and draws on things she should be drawing on.
usually she follows me, where ever i go, now it was a pain in the bum sometimes, but i would rather she did it, because then i know what she is upto.

i have a younger daughter to, who is nearly 8 months old, and i make a good effort to be with them equally, i know my youngest will need more attention, but usually the attention i give, ends up making it fun for the 2 of them, and they end up giggling etc.

the punshment i usually give my eldest is a telling off (from a strong tone, to a roar) or i send her out the room because she is bad, and she can come in when she is good)
any advice??? x

i think from my post, i am making a couple of you think that i am cold hearted, i give my kids loads of hugs and kisses, and praise my eldest soo much for even putting a toy away.

I dont believe for one minute that toddlers are silly, they know exactly what they are doing, and test how much they can push you. I see it in her eyes each time she does something bad.

the reason i send her out, and have continued to do so, is because when she comes back, she is a little angel, she helps out with things to, because she wants to be told she is a good girl, of which i do tell her that, when she is being good.

thanks very much helen, i think you have hit the nail on the head.
xx

thanks alfiegirl,
i think with the sounds of it you have the patients of a saint lol, i really wish i did, i need to really learn to breathe, rather than make a big deal of the situation. x

Answer 1

Almost two- you're right when you say you can see it in her eyes. This is they age that they test EVERYTHING! You have to choose your battles. Remember that right now making messes and getting into trouble is a way to explore new things...and your temper. She wants to know what she can get away with.

As for being too hard on her, maybe not hard enough? Instead of just sending her out of the room, put her in a time-out (Time out should be 1 minute for every year...so she would get about a 2 minute time-out)). This way the punishment will be structured...not just when you're about to blow your top off :) For effectiveness, be sure to be consistent. Meaning, don't send her to time-out for one thing, and then let her get away with another thing just because you're in a better mood. But like I said, choose your battles. Maybe provide her with something to get into when you're not in the room... This way she THINKS she's being naughty. For example, put all the tupperware in a cabinet in the kitchen at her level, set her in front of it, and casually leave it open. Or give her some wooden spoons to bang on pots with. She may just be a little bored. You've got plenty of options. Just look around the house for things that are safe for her and easy to clean up for you! Good luck!

Answer 2

hang on in there!!

shes only 2 and has no idea what shes doing is wrong

all she is doing is learning about her small world and how it all works
to her everything is something to be explored

dont remove items or shout at her but let her know its wrong by moving her away each time you catch her doing it and telling her firmly no

its no good if you go back into a room and have found she has done something telling her off she will not realize thats what shes getting in trouble for

try to plan ahead (hard as it will be) have a special box of toys ect that she can only have when you have to leave the room
that way it will keep her interest as she cant have it all the time and only allow her to have it for a short while when you come back into the room

dont make this a big scene but have something she really likes to hand so you can swap it over and put the other box up

you have your work cut out but she will learn in time

and after all its just things that in time can be replaced

your child learnig about the world at 2 years old never can

good luck and keep smiling !!

Answer 3

Tell her she is the big sister and tell her she should show her little sister how to behave. Don't just send her out of the room, have a time out place, being a chair, carpet or corner, else she will just get into something somewhere else.(time out should never be more minutes than the age of the child) Praise good behavior perhaps with a reward card, Using stars, butterfly's or what ever she like. Make it fun
Good luck

Answer 4

A tether is a lengthy rope tied to a stake or a tree that enables an animal to graze in a circle purely to date from the position the tether is tied. To be on the properly of your tether means that you'll be able to pass no farther.

Answer 5

I fully understand what you are going through, and you are smart enough to realise that her behaviour is for attention getting, however! We cannot smack our children today no matter how much we think they deserve it! So it becomes a psychological cure we are looking for. I'd suggest a naughty area where she is made to sit until you decide she's been punished enough. The Government introduced these laws on punishing our children, so I think the Government should have the answers on how to go about it! Don't you think? They have left parents high and dry on the discipline front so that's why we have youths running around today thieving, and causing mischief in our community, when a good slap round the ear when they were younger did the trick! It never hurt me, and it would do them the world of good too! Have a good day.

Answer 6

The naughty step works well in cases like this, just make sure your eldest is not encouraging this behaviour and bring the two youngest together in a balanced a way as is possible. Not an easy task granted

We do get wound up by our kids and it's quite normal to feel this way, just as i am sure you won't don't act on it.

I wish you the best of luck

Answer 7

She's not even two, and has the attention span of a goldfish. Unless you're extremely organised in terms of having about twenty different things to keep her occupied, you're going to run into trouble.

I would suggest this is what dvd locks and high tables/shelves are for. You have to childproof every room, or take the consequences. If you know there's stuff that's likely to be damaged where she is, either be prepared to supervise her every minute or move her elsewhere.

She's MUCH too young to know why you're getting angry at her - all she knows is that you're showing you don't like her and she's bad.

Give her a break, set yourself up so she can't get into trouble. She has no understanding of the value you place on things like a dvd player or computer, she's only a baby.

Good luck.

Answer 8

two yr olds, need to be patiently taught what is naughty and what is not. At that age, they are curious, they want to touch everything, they want to feel everything, see everything, do everything, walk, crawl, eat things, play play play, to them, it is discovering the world! if you have said NO a few times to something, then she needs to start catching on that it is not acceptable and a tap on the bottom should suffice, but only after trying to verbally, and NICELY telling her/showing her that what she is doing is not acceptable. a two yr old, does not yet understand that there curious actions are not okay. "roaring" at her, is NOT acceptable on your behalf, as it is disciplining in ANGER. which is abuse. you cannot discipline a child in anger. yelling or hitting whilst angry is abuse. you need to be calm and firm. then it is discipline. at this age you cannot make her fully understand, but quitting the screaming or "Roaring" is a good start, you will terrify her! giving her a tap on the hand will let her know that what she is doing equals hand tap. not nice to her, she might get it.

if you want to leave the room without her grabbing stuff and all that, get her a really big play pen with some toys in it, and put her in it when you leave the room. a two yr old needs to be watched like a hawk, or restricted. she WILL explore if she is allowed to.

but remember, when you are showing her not to touch something, you need to do it immediately, otherwise she will have absolutely no idea what you are disciplining her for.

Answer 9

Find a time out corner, a place where there is NOTHING for her to play with, the most boring of corners in the house and make her sit in it for five minutes(five minutes is an eternity to a 2 year old), you will have to make her stay there, because she will get up loads of times to begin with but if you remain consistent and keep your cool she will begin to know you mean business. Good luck with it and keep your cool, cos for kids any reaction is a fun reaction.

Answer 10

Computers are mind numbing SWITCH IT OFF !

Your obviously a good mum because your kids expect attention and comply when you send them out .

It is often a problem for parents when a kid dislikes the attention given to a new born baby , you recognise this as you have said you try to give them equal attention .

The problem is that your kids dislike the attention to give to your computer (something they cannot possibly understand)

So why not leave the com alone until they're asleep , the kids won't feel deprived and you won't get wound up .