I am 32 years old. Recently I met a wonderful girl. She was quite promiscuous. She claims an undying love for me. I just don't think that she will be able to turn it off and be a real girlfriend. Also she is young (20 years old). I am looking for some one who wants to settle down.
We get along so well I am afraid that if I blow her off that I might not get a chance at a real soul mate. I use to not believe in such things.
2007-05-25 22:23:57 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She is too young for you. Even if she could (not likely) become faithful to you, it would not last. She will want to finish sowing her wild oats in a few years and by that time you could be stuck paying child support for the next 18 years. She is not your soul mate, she is just a young girl that you have a crush on.
2007-05-25 22:38:00 · answer #1 · answered by lcmcpa 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
do you wan the sugar coated version or just the plain truth?
dump her jack!
Change in a person is slow(read years...and promiscuity is not some thing most relationships can tolerate for years until she can learn and change) and unless she has a real motivation to change(relationships and marriage is not motivation she needs a compelling do or die situation) it'll never happen! you will be hurt and there's no stopping it so save your self the heart ache and get a "good "girl for a soal mate....... and that's the sugar coated version.
The reason the dating services that do the personality profiling do so well is they match people who are culturally equal together. you obviously have a different culture than this "bad girl" the reasons which she did all these things and remains doing these things are deep and seated problems...
we as men are naturally drawn to these women since they are an easy "I need you, I care for you, I value you" we long to be the hero and be appreciated and adored for being the hero...but....these easy women are only using us to get some self esteem and then they're off again looking for the better catch.(read emotional stepping stone). Men are currently facing a problem... we are not needed in society. All the things which we bring to the table are no longer valued. we are quietly oppressed and marginalized and then blamed for all of societies ills when we seek to fulfil our needs... in a round about way I'm telling you....go out and find some one who will value what you bring to the table and who will appreciate you for the Honourable MAN you are... do not look for these types among atheists, whores, go greeners (read the new Communist party), feminists, liberals(kinda iffy).....THESE PEOPLE ARE THE ENEMY TO OUR CULTURE.
The people who will really appreciate and give you what you need will be found amongst the religious right(read judeo-christian culture) who ascribes to OUR kind of values and scripts. That's the plain truth..... why would you go and try to live and find happiness amongst the Arabs? you will aways be an infidel and a visitor.....likewise why try to find value and happiness amongst those who do not share your beliefs....
do the right thing...stay away from the easy slut and find an HONOURABLE WOMAN!
**love your comment Derek
**hunnybunny...."ya don't take it away from her" after all people love to be in misery...the problem with self esteem is some thing good..."don't take it away from her"... good gaul woman permiscuity is not happiness it only makes her problem worse...
2007-05-25 22:55:08 · answer #2 · answered by Firemedic 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love her you have to love her for who she is. To ask her to change is selfish love, and in selfish love there is more self-love than real love. To ask her to change for you would be to kill something inside her, and would that be right? I'm sure you'd agree that it isn't.
Also, she is just 20 and may not be ready to settle down yet. You may be ready, but she is still young and has 12 years to go to get the the same place you are right now.
Lastly, what is "promiscuous"? In my experience people label a promiscuous person as anyone getting more action than they are. It's a relative term, and a very judgmental one. And how can you stand in judgment of someone you are truly in love with? If you do than it's not true love you are feeling.
So you have to decide, can you love her for who she is? Or will you have to let her go?
2007-05-26 17:50:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with beatch, hold off on the sex for a while. Show her the joys of holding hands & cuddling.
Don't be so quick to judge that she's going to go back to her promiscuous ways. Everyone can turn over a new leaf. I would, however, make sure that she knows that you are into something a little more serious than a "just for fun" relationship. I wouldn't spring it to her on the first date, but maybe 5 dates down the line tell her that you want to be her one & only.
If it doesn't work out, don't sweat it. The world is full of people that you would get along smashingly with. It's better to have tried it, than to have not done anything & possibly missed out on something great.
2007-05-25 22:31:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you have to have a long talk with her and explain that your into LONG TERM relationships and that you like her but you'll only be with her if she stays faithful. Don't worry man there are other people out there and I am sure one of them is eventually going to settle down with you if this one does not. Think about it if you can score a 20 year chick at your age then I am pretty sure that you could really find the one you love.
2007-05-25 22:29:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
"Tell her what you currently feel" is an advice easier to say than to do. We men dont really have a good language part in our brain as women do, but there are no other advice that is wiser than this one.
Discuss this thing with her like two adults, and be honest with yourself. You must have already understood that a healthy relationship must be based on honesty.
Good Luck.
2007-05-25 22:33:01 · answer #6 · answered by seed of eternity 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Chastity belt...
Worked for the Crusaders back in the Day. Remember to make only one key
2007-05-25 22:27:52 · answer #7 · answered by Derek 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You want to tame her?.... it's always hard to tame something thats wild...but if she claims undying love for you maybe she will calm herself down, because she loves you...you really cannot make someone do something they don't want to...if you be with her it will drive you nuts! thinking if she has slept with anyone else...if you blow her off as you say, you feel like you lost out...discuss it with her and then make your decision from there.... but always protect your heart.
2007-05-25 22:30:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
um yea good luck with that. if your looking for someone to settle down with, i dont think a 20 yr old is for you. she barely has had a chance to experience life. dont take that away from her right yet.
2007-05-25 22:27:36 · answer #9 · answered by hey buddy! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
look, I harm down a number of those answer and u question for u. This the way it paintings: Non-virgin women and adult men that have sleept around - properly sure, as quickly as u do it, the virginity now not there u see? They now not have it, and this is not a danger to verify importance of it, whilst u have not got it not extra. might desire to those human beings carry head in shame? not probably, yet they only pass on with life and alter attitude on intercourse and snoozing around, counting on journey. Virgins like u - properly, first, u are nevertheless virgin - it continues to be something u have that maximum human beings ur age have not got, so in its rarity it is going to look, and additionally be, plenty extra particular to u. 2nd, u never had intercourse, and that i particular at one ingredient in time, all and sundry think of like u "Oh those intercourse craze addicts are gross". It purely the way it works. all and sundry justifies his/her very own circumstances, and for this reason, you justify urs, and non-virgins justify theirs. yet PLEASE do not make mistake of condemning those that have intercourse and have had extra effective than one million companion, till you have journey of snoozing with somebody. you don't understand how u will react to intercourse whilst u do do it, and you don't understand in case you will experience like exploring ur sexual desires once you journey intercourse and how it feels to u. It too early and hypocritical to decide others. As to those 'adult men who sleep around and marry virgins' the different could additionally take place to intercourse addict wumen who sleep around and marry the nice guy, u see? additionally, u opinion on not prefer to sleep with guy who had intercourse is nice. all and sundry has very own view in this. yet remember appreciate people who've distinctive circumstances with this subject be counted. If it not u cup of tea, it might desire to be somebody else's, so why worry attempt persuade human beings in any different case?
2016-10-08 03:44:35 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋