my boyfriend and i are near the end of high school and we have been going out for about a year. he asked me to marry him, but when i couldnt say anything he got mad and said forget it i love him but i think its a little too soon. i want to go to college!! what do i do and say to him!!! please help!!
2007-05-25 20:17:49 · 9 answers · asked by bubbles2994 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I agree with you. If you have doubts it's not for you.
Love is a funny thing.... the question is do you love him or do you love being in love With him. Most of us get addicted to "being in love" but when it comes right down to it we only really "care deeply" about someone rather than love them....
As for what to tell him? Tell him you respect him and appreciate where he is coming from, but the best thing for both you and him is to prepare for life in the best possible way, that means getting a good education, a good job, a nice place to live and maybe seeing the world, then add the house, car and kids....
The flip side of this is as a woman you are for more likely to have to support yourself and a family by yourself (death, divorce) You need to be prepared so you and your children will have the best possible chance in life.
Beyond that, you have to go with your gutt on this one.... it sounds like you know that he is not the right one at this time.
If this makes him mad or sad... that's his issue not yours... only you can make you happy.
PS... good choice on the school thing.... I'd love to stay in touch and you let me know how you are doing
Sarah
2007-05-25 20:28:09 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TURN SERIOUS TALK INTO SERIOUS PLANS...BE MATURE WITH THE IDEA. Tell him how much you care for him and that you want a long engagement. After all, ask him what kind of lifestyle would you two have trying to maintain a marriage, college, and paying the bills at the same time. And accidents do happen when it comes to kids. Chances are that you will be pregnant within two years of getting married--mental stress will cause you not to remember to take the precautions you take now for sex--assuming you are sexually active. If not, the chances are that you will be pregnant within one year of marriage. These are statistics for Teen Marriages. Also, what support will you two get from family members. You will need an apt, furniture, rent, phone, utility bills money and who is going to work and go to school at the same time. ASK HIM WHAT IS THE RUSH? If you fear loosing him, just let him know that you just want a long engagement. LOVE, IF IT IS REAL, WILL WAIT FOR THE RIGHT TIME TO GET SERIOUS. BOTH OF YOUR EDUCATIONS SHOULD COME FIRST FOR A MORE SECURE FUTURE. Now, if he wants to work and you go to school, that is also a bad idea. You both should be in school--college or trade--to be able to offer each other the best chances of having a comfortable life together. NOTHING BREAKS UP MORE TEEN MARRIAGES THAN FINANCIAL STRAIN! Good luck.
2007-05-26 03:31:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him about your plans.After that tell him that after college,if you two have lasted as a couple, that you will marry him.The odds will be in your favor if you guys wait until you get your degrees before saying "I do".He might not understand now but if it lasts it will be worth it.You made a good decision in not saying anything when he asked.You might ease some of his anger by saying you will wear a promise ring.You havent said if he and you are going to be attending the same college.If you do it might make things easier for him.If he cant wait that long,he is too immature to be in this serious of a relationship.
2007-05-26 03:30:58 · answer #3 · answered by john s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves you, he will wait. You are right not to rush into marriage. It takes a long time to really get to know someone. After all if you are just ending high school you really don't even know who you are yourself yet. It's best to marry someone you have taken a lot of time to get to know , who has the same values and some of the same interests as yourself, some one with similar hopes for the future.
2007-05-26 03:30:20 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant get engaged for years before you get married and hell whats the worst that could happen you change your mind, i got engaged and felt it was to big of a commitment and they guy loved me and he understood that and respected me for that and im still with him even though i gave him the ring back and everything, you will know when your ready and if you arent sure your not ready and that means if he loves you he will wait. Whats the rush you have the rest of your life
2007-05-26 03:22:20 · answer #5 · answered by internetsurveys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you want the two of you to go to college and graduate so you guy's can be stable, educated, and have enough money for your dream wedding and things like a house, cars, etc. If he loves you he should be willing to do this.
2007-05-26 03:21:41 · answer #6 · answered by Konjo Nashi Pirate™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you know beyond any shadow of doubt that he is the one, then there is no problem with saying yes. you don't have to get married right away. but he shouldn't have asked unless he knew the answer.
if you feel like you should wait, then waiting is the right answer.
2007-05-26 03:30:41 · answer #7 · answered by Brian D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TELL HIM YOU WONT TO GO TO COLLAGE AND MARRIAGE RIGHT NOW IS NOT IN YOUR PLANS ,IF HE LOVES YOU HE WILL UNDERSTAND THAT, AN EDUCATION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN A HOUSE FULL OF KIDS!!!!!!!! SIT HIM DOWN AND TALK TO HIM ABOUT THIS AND IF HE GETS PISSED OFF AND WONT LESION KICK HIM IN THE A S S AND MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND!!!!
2007-05-26 03:28:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not unreasonable for you to want to wait. Marriage is serious business. If he's mature, he'll understand why you want to wait and if he loves you, he'll wait for you.
2007-05-26 03:24:05 · answer #9 · answered by enovamami 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋