I just caught my fiance "chatting" with an old gf on his myspace account what do u make of this?should i worry

Question

She sent him a pm and he answered her and they chatted back and forth for a few days(till i caught him)u could tell she was "feeling him out" to see if there was an interest.and my fiance who had no interest in his page till she contacted him fixed it all up with songs,photos(none of me)sayings ect.plus he was quick to answer her when ever she pm him.now he never said anything bad to her but it only went on for about 2 days before i caught him.now he never told me about this, i found out when i logged on to his account to get someones email(he did not know i was doing it)when i asked him about it he blew it off as no big deal but as soon as i left the room he deleted his whole account,weird i thought.oh let me add he left his 1st wife for this chick.shes like a bad penny allways turning up.

Answer 1

Go with your gut instincts. You are right to feel the way you do about it. He is cheating on you, believe it. There is no innocent reason to talk to an 'old girlfriend'. Sounds like he is a player. What makes you think he will be faithful to you, when he left his first wife for someone and now he is flirting with the same someone and no telling who else, while he is engaged to you? I'd drop him like a hot rock. He will break your heart. Good thing you aren't married to him already. Better think long and hard about marrying someone who doesn't know how to be committed to one woman. Don't blame the bad penny, it's squarely on him. I'm sure he wants you to think it is no big deal, cause he wants to keep doing it behind your back. Have his cake and eat it too.
Relationships have to be based on trust, or you don't have a relationship. He has already proved he can't be trusted. Open your eyes gal, run as fast as you can away from all that.

Answer 2

Are you serious? I'm sorry if that sounds crass, but really, you should already know the answer to this question.

Let me ask you this, what would you say to a woman that told you she was going to marry a guy who has a past history of abusing his girlfriend. Now he seems 'changed', 'different', would you believe her? Or would you think in the back of your head, "wow, that's a big red flag, I wonder if you're headed for trouble."

Now I realize that 'cheating' and 'beating' a woman seem real different but they do have something in common, they show a blatent disrespect toward other people. And most people grow to realize that those traits are very very hard to change. It's not that they can't be changed, but it's not looking like he's learned anything, now is it? So, do you really think that his chatting is okay? Really? Do you?

No. It's not...you know it deep down inside. A man who loves and respects you would politely end the conversation with an ex, and quickly.

Try to stop blaming this girl, I think you're doing this because you don't want to face the feelings you have that maybe this guy isn't the right guy for you. You love him, and it would hurt to believe that he didn't love you enough to stay true. But that is also a false belief...one that might be common for a woman in your situation, however. The real issue lies within his inability to understand love and respect, and it has nothing to do with your worthiness of his love.

So you're snooping, and he's hiding. Hmm...doesn't sound like the foundation of a healthy relationship to me. You need to take a step back...seek some guidance. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Sister, cousin? Someone who loves you...you know, be real with them. They will help you explore your feelings. The truth seems to be that you've chosen a man you can't trust...and this is for good reason, he has proven to not be trustworthy. And you shouldn't 'worry', worry does nothing, it creates stress, it detracts away from the work you need to do in decision making. Good relationships do not exist because we care about someone...they involve two well balanced people who have a health outlook, a healthy spirit, people who know respect and who have morals and dignity. There are plenty of people who love each other but because of bad behavior that relationship will indeed fail, and you've seen it, you know it. And this is one of those occasions, as hard as it is to face. I feel for you...I know it hurts. My feedback to you is to really open yourself up and let your mind work for you right now, not your heart. When we let our emotions guide us entirely we can become deluded into thinking our rationale isn't correct, we dismiss those nagging thoughts that tell us something isn't right. Be strong, take a step back and tell him your expectations. Don't try and talk to him over and over, don't look for reasons to justify why it's not his fault. You should be able to take a little break from your relationship and think...then you can see how he responds. If he comes to you and tells you that he understands what he did is wrong, and what, this important...what he plans on doing to help him get on the right track then maybe you could consider investing in your relationship again. But if you have to prod him to get him to see things your way that is just deluded thinking. Later on in life you will be trying to 'change' him into someone who is on the right path...and no one can successfully do that for someone else. All my best to you....and remember that you deserve all the love and respect you feel you should have, and you shouldn't have to fight to get it.

Answer 3

nicely tisk on you for going into his bills yet hi "the evidence is interior the pudding" i think of it is advisable to call your wedding ceremony off ~ while you're beginning out this way theres ruff seas forward forsure!! he lied to you and then deleted his account!! Your lots extra functional than that and No actual guy will save secrets and strategies from his Love !! My hubby has an ex-spouse and she or he contacted him by myspace too and he informed me approximately it and that i've got her as my buddy now too~ Many fish interior the sea!! flow fishin

Answer 4

God gives us all instincts for a reason.The problem is we dont listen to our instincts.Stop and listen to yours.

Answer 5

Get back at him... email me and we can chat... then when he catches you, see how he likes it.

Answer 6

Girlfriend if he has something to hide he's doing it!

Answer 7

I would snap cause he wouldn't like it if you did it to him....

Answer 8

may be he has hang over!