I think that he would be hurt if I didn't ask him to walk me down the isle. My goal is not to hurt his feelings. I just don't think he should because he is or never really was involved in my life. Yeah, maybe I am still holding a grudge or two ot three. But should he give me away to my husband to be if he gave me away when he decided not to be a part of my life?
2007-05-25 18:15:27 · 13 answers · asked by ladybug 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Not only did I not ask my father to walk me down the aisle, I didn't invite him to the wedding. I just didn't consider him my father. Only you can make this irrevocable decision. If he is unworthy why give him the honor?
2007-05-25 18:22:12 · answer #1 · answered by lcmcpa 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
Talk with your dad. Tell him what you asked here. Let him know your feelings and that you don't feel he has earned that priviledge. See what he has to say, maybe he has changed and now is sorry for not having been there. You won't know him untill you chat with him. If he can not convince you that it is best that you allow him this honor, then be up front and tell him so.
But also give him the opportunity to be in your life from this day forward. Be sure that he knows it is up to him. Be open minded, because as we dads get older, some of us do change our way of thinking and start longing for those great relationships with our kids. Knowing he still has a chance to be a dad, can do a world of good for him ... and for you.
If he is not to be the one to escort you, consider a brother, eldest first, then an uncle, or eldest cousin, or friend. I hope you understand this. Family IS important.
2007-05-26 02:06:58 · answer #2 · answered by GeminiiMan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My dad was periodically less than stellar in his role but if he was here now I would let him walk me down the aisle. It could be a healing moment for both of you. I won't say you will regret not having him there or at your wedding because there's no promise you will or would. Just think about what you want to go forward with from this moment. If it's virtually no relationship or no improvement in your current relationship with him then don't give him that honor. If you want ot be closer this could be a starting point.
2007-05-26 01:54:51 · answer #3 · answered by indydst8 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, that's your choice. It's rare these days that a girl is leaving right from her father's home to her husband's, so I think the whole "giving away" thing is just an outdated thing. Usually, women are independent and working when they get married.
My dad had died two years before our wedding, and I had no one else I wanted to walk me down the aisle. I didn't want to walk alone, so my husband and I walked in together, with our attendants walking before us in couples. It was wonderful!
2007-05-26 07:55:53 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you'll hurt is feelings if since you claim you two aren't that close and he wasn't involved in your life much. If i were you, i wouldn't ask him...maybe have a brother or cousin do the job if you have one and if you're close or how about your mom? My sis had our mom walk her down the aisle, since my mom was the one who raised us. I'm having my 14 yr old son walk me down for the same reason.
Best wishes on your wedding!
2007-05-26 19:54:13 · answer #5 · answered by chloe1995 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can SO relate to this. I didn't have my dad give me away when I got married 17 years ago. He was a horrible father, treated us like dirt. My parents were divorced and I had lived on my own for awhile. I didn't feel that it was my parents who were giving me to my husband, I was giving me to my husband. My dad was very upset and hurt, but he started treating me differently after that (in a good way). Looking back , part of me regrets that it had to be that way, but my dad is still a jerk and still tries to control and manipulate my sister a I. So overall I am glad I did it.
2007-05-26 03:01:05 · answer #6 · answered by Amy F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who was the person to be there with you ALWAYS. The person you know you can always count on; perhaps your mom?. Who was the father figure for you? Whoever deserves that honor should be the one to walk you down the aisle. If your dad ever ask you why he was not the chosen one then tell him how you really feel. Just make sure you do not regret it later. Congrats on you big day!!
2007-05-26 01:27:08 · answer #7 · answered by Sandra D 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Having your dad walk you down the aisle is just old tradition. These days you have the person who you look up to most or has been most influential in your life walk you down the aisle. Just let him know that its not that your trying to hurt his feelings but that you want the person who you've spent most of your time with to walk with you on your day. He might get offended at first...but if he's the least bit understanding...he'll get over it with time.
2007-05-26 01:27:52 · answer #8 · answered by scarlett 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hi I feel for you. i was just wondering. could you maybe talk to your dad and see if maybe he wanted to be part of your life but for some reason he was not allowed to be?
It's your wedding it should be up to you. I will Pray that you find the answer you are looking for. Have a Wonderful New life with your Husband to be. and God Bless you BOTH
2007-05-26 01:31:10 · answer #9 · answered by Linda 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
i know you may be mad or hurt because of him now but what if he died two days after your wedding you would wish he would have been in it so you need to think about regretting it later, you should let him walk you down the isle because you may make up with him in the future and you dont want to regret anything about your wedding
2007-05-26 03:09:11 · answer #10 · answered by internetsurveys 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋