I have been in a significant relationship with my girlfriend for about 18 months now. I love her and am convinced that she is the one I want to marry. My problem is, that I feel like she has gained almost 30 pounds since we first met, and while I don't want to seem superficial or hurt her feelings, I feel like I need to say that she has let herself go, and hasn't taken as good of care of herself as she used to. Without hurting anybody's feelings, or making me seem like the bad guy, how do I get her to lose some weight and be the person I fell in love with? I still love her of course, but I was much more attracted to her, physically, than I am now.
2007-05-25 17:14:19 · 6 answers · asked by Bruno H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Time for the two of you to make time for a daily 2-3 mile walk. Weight is a tough issue to address with a woman so you are at a bit of a disadvantage. However, it does need to be discussed as it is impacting on the relationship for you. And, given that you are considering marriage - you have to be able to communicate effectively with each other about each other's concerns. When you approach her, be respectful and don't project the diminished attraction to her weight gain. That approach will come across as you being concerned about you rather than her.
Keep in mind also that what you see in a person before marriage that concerns you is part of who they are and it doesn't get better after the act of marriage. And real love, by the way, isn't about you but it's about putting the other person's needs ahead of your own (and vice versa).
And physical attraction is not the only element of marriage that is important.
2007-06-02 10:33:57 · answer #1 · answered by scorp5543 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Attraction is a big thing. And if you want to make sure she isn't offended, try telling her you want to get into shape more, but feel foolish doing it alone. Ask her if she would be willing to go on a diet with you and go to the gym as a sort of bonding thing. If this doesn't work, tell her you're worried that she is changing. Say you have noticed she isn't dressing or taking care of herself like she used to. Then tentively mention the weight. Then talk to her, tell her you love her, and ask her to please take care of herself.
2007-05-27 02:25:33 · answer #2 · answered by Dia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the best way to approach your partner about them letting themselves "go"? BY CARING AND RESPECTING IS A HAPPY THING TO DO. THAT'S ALL I ASK FROM YOU. I HOPE YOU DO ACCEPT ME GOOD.
Love Amie
2007-05-25 17:21:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just be gently honest.
2007-05-25 17:18:18 · answer #4 · answered by annastasia1955ca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
join a gym together.
2007-05-25 17:18:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt if i were u
2007-06-02 09:55:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋