My 8 year old has Tourettes and we've had the diagnosis for 2 years. His social life is great and he does well in school. Although his vocal and motor tics are frequent, he copes very well. He is playing soccer for on a league, plays hard and well, and enjoys it. I purposefully did not discuss his TS with the coach, thinking it was rather irrelevant. Recently, the coach has asked other parents what is "wrong" with him. Now he is informed.
My question is should I be informing people about this before they even notice or ask, or is that setting the scene for him to be treated differently with a label.
Up until now I have been operating on a need to know basis, and giving people credit that they can see that he is very competant and likable, despite his tics.
Should I talk to people more readily?
2007-05-25 16:48:59 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
I have been, and am where you are. My 12 year old also has this disorder. Here is what I think:
Inform:
Teachers, coaches, Sunday school teachers, group leaders, camp counselors, or anyone else who has "authority" over your child and are in a position to reprimand him. I do this because I do not want my son to be told to "stop it" and suffer punishment, when he clearly cannot control a movement or sound. This is not to be confused with behavioral correction.
You are a Mom of a child with this disorder, so I don't think I have to tell you what is behavioral and what is a tic. I'm sure you know. But others don't.
The rest of the time, I just inform as I feel is necessary. It's not the first thing I blurt out and I try not to use it as a negative label. I like to focus on what he CAN DO. I sometimes need to remind the dental hygienist or ophthalmologist that he may not be able to hold his head "perfectly" still during the exam (you'd think the professionals would read the chart!) as they have been informed.
It was rude of the coach to ask others. He should have come to you.
My son has a moderate case and sounds a lot like your son. He is bright and sweet. He is artistically gifted and plays chess. He has a high IQ, but does struggle in school at times (go figure!). He enjoys swimming instead of soccer. I'm glad your son enjoys soccer! That is a great stress reliever and that helps with tics.
May I point out that you have incorrectly placed this question in the Mental Health category. It's important to know that Tourettes is not a mental illness. It is a Neurological, or to be more specific, Neurobiological disorder. Think of it this way: your son's software is fine (his mental capabilities, aptitude for learning and ability to function) but his hardware is "wired" incorrectly and this causes him to tic.
I hope this helps. I have found that when we are in public, people see me treat him "normally" and they tend to follow suit. His best friend does not care about the extra noises and movements he makes. Tourettes is a small part of who he is.
Best wishes.
2007-05-27 15:12:22 · answer #1 · answered by Juliart 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If and when your child is in the charge of another adult - be it school, Dentist, coach, Sunday School, Scouts, Camp, Music lessons or overnight at a friend's house. Do clue-in the adult in charge. Most places where you are asked to fill-out a parent's permission slip it will ask questions or have a space for "other conditions" including asthma, allergy, epilepsy, diabetes, bed wetting, etc. Tourette's is definitely one of the "other" conditions that might cause a stranger to become alarmed or annoyed or attempt to discipline your child unnecessarily. During a dental appointment an unsuspecting dentist or hygienist could accidentally cause injury during one of the tics. At a summer camp you might find your child taken to an emergency room for what has scared his caretakers.
2007-05-26 01:19:28 · answer #2 · answered by Hope 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
AT ANY TIME, that is your child and if you make him think something is wrong with him, he will grow up thinking that. Don't hide it. It is part of who he is like depression is part of who I am, or like HIV is a part of the lives of the children I donate my time too. Having Tourettes is not a death sentence and those who choose to judge your child are not your friends and you can avoid learning the hard way by telling them. If they react badly--- cut them out of you and your childs life.
It isn't like he is an arsonist locked up in jail for murder (now that kind of thing, I wouldn't go announcing). It's just a tic, people with plain old "bad habits" like chewing with their mouth open or poor hygeine, something controlable is more offensive than any kind of mental disorder.
My best friend is schizo and when he goes off his meds, he thinks he's God. I explain it to new people I meet and if they don't like it, they can move on..... he's been my best friend for a long time and I don't care what they think of him. I only say why so they don't think he's trying to start some cult and when he's on his meds, he asked me to explain to people when he does this because he really doesn't remember but has been told by others.
2007-05-26 00:34:37 · answer #3 · answered by JPangeleyes 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think the "need to know" basis is good, and you don' t have to tell everyone....people like teachers and coaches need to be let in on this though- his disorder is not discreet enough to slip by undetected. You can just say that he has a medical condition that causes tics and vocalizations.
2007-05-25 23:53:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
yes, you should be more open about it. Your son has probably heard people ask whats "wrong" with him. If the coach had been informed, there would have been no questions. You don't need to explain to people in the mall, unless perhaps they ask. There are a couple kids in my family with disorders, when people ask, we answer. Most curious people want to learn, not judge. Lack of information leads to judging. 90% of people won't change the way they act about it, those who do, can go to ****.And tell them so.
2007-05-26 00:03:12 · answer #5 · answered by bluemoca_1 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the way you're handling it is perfect. Not broadcasting to everyone, being discreet, and telling those who need to know or who ask(that you're sure are credible).....perfect. :)
I wouldn't change a thing in the way you're handling it. And it's really your decision too. Just thought I'd give you some encouragement. :) :)
2007-05-26 00:44:19 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer S 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't know what this is. But please see a doctor regularly.
2007-05-26 00:36:29 · answer #7 · answered by steven200719 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋