I'm 28, and I've been dating a girl for almost 3 months. We get on pretty well, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to get serious with her. When we started dating she said she was 33, and although I've never dated an older woman, I decided to give it a try, since it wasn't that huge of a difference. The other night, she drunkenly confessed that she is actually 37! She said she lied because she was afraid I'd freak out and not date her. This DID freak me out, since I thought 5 years was a lot! I don't know if I can handle a 9 year difference, and I'd like a family someday, but not really anytime soon. I feel like we're on totally different life schedules. I feel shallow now that her age matters, but if I'd known at the beginning I don't think I'd have gotten involved. Thoughts anyone?
2007-05-25 14:16:26 · 12 answers · asked by Ashton 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well firstly forgive any mistakes in my English. As for the answer, I think if you're feeling uncomfortable with her age then that is reason enough to let the relationship end. And another thing is she had to be drunk to tell you the truth.. for me that would totally violate my trust, which i believe to be the base of any comfortable relationship. It gets complicated when you start doubting stuff. Rest of course depends on how much you agree with me :) wish u luck always.
2007-05-25 14:26:20 · answer #1 · answered by Diya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that 9 years is a big difference. I guess it could be considered shallow but at the same time would it be shallow for a 18 year old to turn down a 12 year old? No, it would just be gross and common sense that they just don't go. 28 and 37 are a big difference. If it was the other way around, you were older, since your the guy it wouldn't matter so much but I think, maybe if you feel that unconfortable you should end it.
2007-05-25 21:22:13 · answer #2 · answered by dotbrie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two opinions you may consider, with the focus that it isn't like a typo on a notebook keyboard that is sent to you; she had verbalized it to you, which you may consider deception & then need to question everything she has told you about her life. On the other hand - and where I lean to - she was afraid that a number was going to ruin what she sees as the potential for a wonderful relationship.
If you are really hung up on the "lie" or the age difference, then break off the realtionship ASAP...don't string it out. If you can get over this, then play a game.....sit down with her, say you have something very serious to discuss and break the news to her you're actually 17.....so both can get a laugh and move forward.
2007-05-25 21:26:48 · answer #3 · answered by Zombie Birdhouse 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well a 37 yr old woman is reaching the point where she wont' be able to have kids anymore.. keep that in mind..
If you really have strong feelings for her, breaking it off wouldn't be the best idea, .. just tell her how you feel, she should have been honest in the beginning, and you have the right to hold that against her. But if you're lives are going on two separate paths and there is no way of it working out, then don't drag it out any longer..
2007-05-25 21:22:14 · answer #4 · answered by lilchikka2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really think it won't work, then you should probably end it with her. Lying is a big thing-if she does it about her age, what else will she lie about? As far as the age difference goes, my husband is 9 years younger than me and we are definate soul mates. Age is only a number in the right relationship. Best wishes!
2007-05-25 21:23:50 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am more concerned with the fact that she lied than I am about the age difference. You can't build any kind of healthy relationship on a lie. Time to cut that one loose. And why? If she can lie about something like her age - what else has she lied about? Not worth the risk.
2007-05-25 21:21:28 · answer #6 · answered by scorp5543 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is a tough one. You probably feel like you can't trust her after she kept this secret from you so long. You have to try to set this aside for the moment and look at the other factors in your relationship. Does she make you feel speical, do you get along, can you trust her? If you can then don't worry about the age difference.
2007-05-25 21:22:01 · answer #7 · answered by ripstang3000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really doesnt matter how old u or she is, it depened if u really care about her or like her, my parents r 10 years apart, and look those girls from, the girls next door on t.v are dating a 70 or 80 year old guy and there haveing sex with them and there like in there 20's, ur problem is not a big deal, date the dang girl. god!
2007-05-25 21:23:19 · answer #8 · answered by Rawrkatie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i were you i would be cautious if i stayed in the relationship.
i think that in order for a relationship to last there needs to be honesty. if she lied about her age what else will she or has she lied about. plus if you tell one lie you have to tell a whole lot more to cover up the one you told. then the whole situation is full of deceit .
2007-05-25 21:25:54 · answer #9 · answered by L0V3_$T0N3D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she lied to you about her age, what else is she going to lie to you about? This could be a potentially disasterous relationship.
2007-05-25 21:20:15 · answer #10 · answered by kelsey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋