if my boyfriend won't stop smoking, and i tell him i hate it and it really bothers me.. what do i do?

Answer 1

Let me tell you something.I smoke,my boyfriend hates it,and I know it's bad,he even tried to take my pack away and I got furious.Not because he got my ciggarettes but because he took something that belongs to me.

I know it's bad and all but you can't change a person.You can attempt to influence them and be by their side to encourage,but you can't change them.One day,most likely,he's going to get tired of you bugging him and something is going to happen.And,specially men,they hate to be suffocated and feel like somebody is pressuring them.

Let him think for himself.Tell him you don't like it,but let him do what he gotta do.

If when you met him,he was a smoker,you accepted him to be your boyfriend,then you have to accept him for his weaknesses and problems.

Even my boyfriend tells me,he knows he got no other choice but to accept how I am because I used to be a smoker even before he met him.

I just suggest you let him do what he gotta do.Eventually,he will quit when he thinks it's the best time for him to do so.

However,if he smokes in common areas and inside the house,in the living room for example,then tell him to go outside and smoke.All he needs to do is respect the people around him.

Answer 2

Break up with him. Sure it is healthier than alcohol to the body.. but what would a 14 yr old be doing drinking anyway? Neither thing is healthy at that age. If you really care about him, then tell his parents he is smoking weed. If he is 14 and already finds life boring.. he is going to be an addict. He won't stop with weed. Smoking gum or patches have nothing to do with weed, and won't help. You do need to give him the ultimatum. You or the weed. You are far far too young to be dating anyway, but since you want to act like an adult you have to take responsible actions like an adult. That means HARD decisions. You can't stay with someone with an addictive nature. When I was 16 I got together with a gal who just smoked a little weed. Then she got a job where she had access to percocets and she started taking just a few once in awhile. We were together 5 yrs total. In that time she went from a little weed now and then to full blown heroin addict. What a horrible way to start my relationship life! Sometimes you have to love someone enough to tell them that their behaviour is not acceptable. If someone doesn't smack him in the face with reality right now when he is still a child... how do you think he will ever be able to stay off drugs as time goes on? If you don't take the hard line now... and that means you tell his folks what he is doing.. then you don't really care. If he isn't stopped now, he won't stop. Every single addict I know got started as a teenager, and the only ones who have been saved are those where someone cared enough to be strong and in their face about it. Someone who cared so much, that even losing them wasn't too much to pay.

Answer 3

I hate to say it, but you will have to learn to live with it or move on. You can't FORCE anyone to quit smoking. Seriously...they HAVE to decide it for themselves. Facts or no facts...smoking is an addiction and it's a legal one. You can't make that choice for him and it has NOTHING to do with whether or not he loves you, or cigarettes more. There are women who smoke throughout pregnancy because they can't reach the point where they can quit. Does that mean they don't love their child? Of course not. This is a decision that ONLY sounds easy to a non-smoker or to someone who has never tried to quit.

Telling him he needs to quit or he doesn't love you, is the same as him saying 'If you love me, you'll stop threatening to leave me.'

Answer 4

You can tell him what you hate but you can't tell him to hate the things you hate. You can tell him whats good for he's health and whats not but you can't make hes decision for him. He is old enough to know and decide what is good and bad for him. Either accept him the way he is or if you think you can't live with hes smoking habit then find someone who doesn't smoke.

Answer 5

My wife smoked for years while I had quit and that was very difficult for me sometimes. I kept suggesting that she quit, and having been a smoker, I know you can't force someone to do it. They have to be ready. However, if the smoker respects someone's space, the smoker needs to: do it away from you like outside and alone. This will drive him/her to do it less since they would rather be with you, indoors, and where the action is. Second, they need to agree that it's bad and that quitting is a goal. Educate them on the harmful effects of smoking, they'll be flattered that you researched it and cared to do so. And be patient.

Edit: forgot to add, she did eventually quit, but it took years. Now neither of us smoke!

Answer 6

If you truly feel like a couple, then talk to him about helping him to stop smoking. If he loves you and loves the future he will have with you, then he will make this sacrifice, but he can't do it alone. If he feels that his addiction is more important than his relationship with you, then it is time for you to let him go.

Check out "stop smoking" sites and how to help those you love to stop smoking. Possibly look at ways to approach the subject and not make him feel like he should be on the defense.

Answer 7

You can ask him to stop, but you can't force him to do it. If he won't quit, and if you hate it that much, you may have to find a new boyfriend. Sorry.

Answer 8

Decide how important it is that you not date a smoker. Assume he won't change and make your decision from there. I hate smoke, but it's up to you to decide if it's better not to date him because he smokes.

Answer 9

that's simple. If he can't quit after you told him you hate it and your irritated by it, you can tease him by saying he won't be able to get close to you until he does quit. (be firm and stick to it when you do this)

Otherwise, if he still shows no respect, then leave him. because obviously, if there's no respect over something as trivial as quitting cigarettes, then there's no respect in the relationship, period.

final thing, don't get irritated with him if he begins to get antsy and frustrated and p.o.'ed all the time because it's just the cravings that are getting to him, they'll eventually leave.

Best thing to do, get him to do some activities that will help take his mind off of smoking.

Answer 10

Find a kind, loving, non-smoking man to take his place. If he loved you, he would stop.

Smoking is simply one of those nasty habits that cannot and should not be tolerated if it bothers you.

It's not your job to change him, but you don't have to ruin your health and the health of future children by staying with him.