My ex husband does not like the idea of my being involved with my daughter's life beyond phone calls and of course my regular visitation. He is a good father overall, and he is remarried with three additional children. I want so badly to be involved as much as possible.... with school, her girl scouts, things of that nature....but circumstances from the past have put me in a position where I am trying to regain rights (i'm not so much talking legal rights) yes, legal...but more just the right to be able to show up at as her mother and be a part of her life outside of his home. I believe his wife plays a big part in this... I dont' understand her position or perspective as I have never been married to someone with an ex-wife.,maybe it's tough, but I do nothing but try my hardest to be friendly.I do not act as a threat or any other inappropriate way, ever ... we are very different though, she and I.... like night and day. question is ... how can I approach this fairly and with class?
2007-05-25 13:29:28 · 6 answers · asked by Miracle 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
about their "protecting the child"...I have unsupervised visitation...sure, trust is earned slowly.... trust me, If I know nothing....I know this one...but If i'm able to see her for several days unsupervised... why would he have a problem with me being with her at an event....that HE HIMSELF would be attending??? I'm not loud, I don't ever argue ..... there's no reason for him to fear anything even close to that....if he's protecting her....then it wouldn't make sense that I get her every other weekend alone ???
2007-05-25 13:43:27 · update #1
It really would depend on the reasons why he has custody. It could be he is worried about the influence you will have on the child's life, I would go through the courts for additional visitation or allowing you to be a part of school functions, etc if he isn't allowing you to be part of that type of activity. That is about all you can do. You can speak with him nicely about it and let him know being a part of her life is important to you.
Over time perhaps once they see you have changed it will become easier.
2007-05-25 13:38:17 · answer #1 · answered by Proud to be APBT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time will tell....Let her come to you...keep communication open...at least for now you get to phone and visit...
Read on
I cried for my grandkids today...This is the first time I have seen them since St Patricks day and boy do I miss them. No I did not get any hugs or kisses (3 & 4). Yes, I have invested years in their lives...to be seperated by a mental needs meds father...Their lifes were yanked out from under me because I got arthritis and the youngest is possibly autistic...I could not handle his behavior..
My thought I leave you with is savor the time you have with your daughter and let her know you are her mom. Get the hugs and kisses and hopefully soon the situation will remedy itself
2007-05-25 13:49:56 · answer #2 · answered by Patches6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you say "circumstances from the past have put me in a position...." Nope. You put yourself in the situation. It was not the stars. You are not in charge of when you will be trusted again.
I suggest you behave properly at all times and be patient. This is a hole you dug.
2007-05-25 14:42:15 · answer #3 · answered by adamsjrcn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep in mind that sixteen 300 and sixty 5 days olds locate maximum issues awkward. they are transitioning into adulthood, so would possibly no longer rejoice with many stuff they might have whilst they have been youthful or will whilst they are older. Bowling sounds sturdy. whilst the factors is on your area, bypass exterior and do something lively, like kickball or soccer, according to hazard some soccer. i might shop the visits short and candy, no longer an all day affair. the little ones did no longer decide for the dating, you and your boyfriend did. it particularly is going to take a mutually as for them to heat as much as the region. you would be able to opt to allow the little ones take turns picking what you do. Then a minimum of many of the time that's an pastime which you realize they like. according to hazard they might opt to hold out on the arcade, as an occasion, or wander around the mall. If the older boys bypass off with their acquaintances for somewhat, do no longer take it in my opinion, that's what we are meant to do at that age. shop issues easy and uncomplicated. do no longer attempt too problematical, in simple terms rejoice with the time jointly. once you're making dinner and that's very nearly accomplished, you may invite your boyfriends young ones to help out interior the kitchen. Then in simple terms ask some ordinary inquiries to open the pathway to communication. enable them to speak as plenty or as low as they like. relax, have relaxing, provide it time, and understand you do no longer would desire to objective for perfection. ideal desires to You.
2016-11-05 09:49:07 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must earn trust slowly. after your past misbehavior it's reasonablethey don't want to trust you. start REALLY small and prove yourself a little at a time. you are paying consequences for the past. it's a tough life. they are protecting the child.
2007-05-25 13:38:22 · answer #5 · answered by Sufi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Big tree don't allow small trees to grow under their shade. Do You want that yours daughter should not grow properly with all her own abilities.
2007-05-25 13:34:34 · answer #6 · answered by Hafeez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋