Hi. Guys I really would want to hear your advice. I'm obsessed with my bf. And I want to stop. Well here's the story. He's kinda a headturner. We've been dating for 3 years. I'm turning 19 and he just turned 18. I always want to be with him, I always want to see him, I never want to get him out of sight, I've already planned my future with him, I've already introduced him to my family and they know him. About the acceptance, I've been with several guys and told him the truth about what happened with those relationships (You know what I mean) and he told me and made me feel that he's bothered about that. And I feel it's because he grew up in a very conservative family. He never cheated. He made me feel he really loves me. But I'm really not into that and it's because when I see him looking at other girls I really get mad and because of that I really felt inferior. Help me pls. Try to understand my not-so-understandable problem/story. PLEASE.
2007-05-25 13:12:40 · 11 answers · asked by vaniLLa pLeasuRE 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I hope this doesn´t sound like I´m attacking you - I just wrote what is in my heart, not trying to be negative. So, here goes...
It´s not that he doesn´t accept YOU, he doesn´t accept what happened. The two of you have completely different views on commitment in a relationship.
You can´t expect him to change - whether you call him conservative or not, that´s just the way he is, so you have to accept that. And if you aren´t willing to just stay with him - I mean if you don´t want to give up on "being with others", then don´t blame him for that . That is what you seem to be choosing to follow.
Just end the relationship in a good way, because this can´t last much longer if the basics don´t match. It´s not fair to either of you to keep this going, and if you do, there will be big trouble sooner or later.
Wishing you well...
2007-05-25 13:24:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you are a good one ! I could not deal with this ! You basically have done everything that I would do if I were in your situation. Continue telling him that the past is the past and its something you can't change. The past shouldn't even matter it was before his time, and before he even got into a relationship with you he should have asked those questions. The name calling isn't very respectful you need to tell him that you don't appreciate being called a liar when you really haven't lied about anything. He is having jealousy issues, and they are only going to continue to get worse. When he ask you something you ask him the same thing for the answer.
2016-04-01 08:33:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know i'm a girl and you dont want to hear my advice but im gonna put it out here anyway.Guys really start to hate jealousy and always seem to sneak with some1 whos not so jealous. So i suggest you stop that. When you see him look at other girls always rmbr look but don;t touch and by the way ur guy sounds he's probably thinking ther ugly compared to you. And toget rid of taht obsession thing start hanging with the girls and make it ur goal not to talk about when ur ther if u do that enough youll slowly stop being so obbsessive
2007-05-25 13:21:12 · answer #3 · answered by Charlie Rae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting obsessed with your boyfriend, first of all, is unhealthy. Girl you need to know that even if this dude leaves you, you're good on your own because we females we independent.
The thing is... well.. you need to let him understand that you are changed and you won't do anything to hurt him. ever ever ever. And i understand where you are coming from because my boyfriend actually has a really really bad past. It's just weird.. knowing that i'm kissing someone who has done.. a lot. (if you know what i mean) BUt i love him and i care for him and i trust him with all of my heart and my soul and i love him.
he'll understand soon.
2007-05-25 13:19:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is bothered about your previous boyfriends and then he looks at other girls when you are there? You have got to tell him that he is being hypocritical because you haven't looked at other men since going out with him, but his thoughts are on other girls when he is with you. Let him know you don't accept this. A relationship is a two-way street.
2007-05-25 13:18:52 · answer #5 · answered by jenesuispasunnombre 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like he's not accepting you for your personality, he doesn't accept the rules you set for him ("no looking at other girls"). He isn't thrilled with the fact that you have a past. You sound like you want everything your way - keep him and his thoughts under control. Realx a little bit. You say he loves you. Let him think what he thinks. As for looking at other girls - well, looking should be allowed, as long as he's not acting on it.
2007-05-25 13:23:18 · answer #6 · answered by Everybody's Favorite 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi
i think something is missing from this account. why do you say he doesnt accept you? i dont understand.
however. there is no way he will ever stop looking at other girls. there is just no way. as i am sure you will see other guys. it doesnt mean anything and you must stop infering negative feelings from meaningless actions.
im not sure how you do that. maybe if when you see a guy and you look at him. try to remember the way your thinking at that moment, in relation to your boyfriend. Then when you see him looking at girls, try to remember those feelings and imagine thats what he is thinking. then maybe you'll see how unthreatening a thing it is.
good luck, and dont screw it up.
2007-05-25 13:20:47 · answer #7 · answered by splinter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok well you are obiously the "jealous type".You need to get over your insecurity and be the type of person who comes out on top.If you think that he doesn`t accept you for you look at yourself and figure out if you accept you for you.GOOD LUCK!
2007-05-25 13:19:22 · answer #8 · answered by pretty pink pixie princess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well.... don't see/ talk/ anything with him for a whole week. maybe then you won't be so obsessed. don't plan your future, most guys get creeped out by that. and don't get jealous when he checks girls out, guys like to look. it's just the truth.
2007-05-25 13:17:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shld tell him that you dont apreciate him looking at other girls...
if you dont want to do that, fine, but just kno this that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.. also, just bcuz you might be attracted to someone else doesnt mean that your bf is inferior, likewise just bcuz he looks at other girls doesnt mean that you are inferior...
2007-05-25 13:17:22 · answer #10 · answered by Ruby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋