how do you get him to turn it around ????
2007-05-25 11:38:29 · 15 answers · asked by burlingtony 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
nagging won't help. do you have a friend with an older son who messed up? Try to find someone who did all the wrong things and regrets it - but not an adult because that will only make him worse. If there isn't anyone, try asking him how he sees his life in 10 years, and how he's going to acheive what he wants if he's a drunk or he's locked up. Is there a local layabout that you can use as an example of what not to aim for in life? ASK HIM what is going on and LISTEN to the answers - he may have worries that you don't know about and not want to talk because he expects you to nag. Most importantly please try to stay calm, he'll be expecting you to hit the roof and when you don't, you may just shock him into making sense! Been through it and it does get better eventually, honest!
2007-05-25 11:53:34 · answer #1 · answered by karen b 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he quits school, then put him out the door. It is called tough love. Cut off the money and cut off all support and break his plate at the table. It will turn him around. Where does he get the money for cigarettes or drugs or alcohol? Don't give him a dime.
Tell him you love him but if he quits school he must get a job and support himself.
I really think military school is too late for a 17 year old. In Texas he is an adult and if he got in trouble he would be tried as an adult. Tell him when he goes to jail he will stay there because you will not get him out.
I have two important questions. Did you teach him about the Lord? Did you teach him to pray?
2007-05-25 19:41:16 · answer #2 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You drive to school with him.
You go to school with him.
You drive him home from school.
You sit with him and do his homework.
You keep him in the house.
You keep him busy.
Basically, embarrass him then give him a chance to regain your trust. Being a parent isn't easy. I know that my kids may hate me one day. I don't care. I will do my best to parent them and guide them in the right direction.
Praise is very important also. When he does start doing good I would praise every accomplishment that he makes. This way he's getting positive attention and will most likely continue on a good path.
If that doesn't work I would encourage him to at least get his GED so that he could actually get some where in life. However, if his trust wasn't regained I'd just let him live on his own. Sad, but true. Sometimes kids need a taste of 'the real world to straighten up and fly right or come home and start new.
In the end it depends on the kid. Best of Luck!
2007-05-25 18:53:53 · answer #3 · answered by .vato. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boot Camp or boarding school.. DO NOT get a probation officer!!! First of all he'd have to commit a crime, which would mean he would probably be tried as an adult and it would go on his record.
My friend started to turn that same direction, stopped hanging out with us, doing things that weren't going to help... Parents have to put strict rules..
2007-05-25 18:49:04 · answer #4 · answered by T__13 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kick him out the day he turns 18. I know it's harsh, and it'll take awhile for him to come around, but he will. Take it from a girl who started doing drugs and drinking at 16, got kicked out on her *** at 18, and now has an incredibly good job. Rents her own house, owns her own car and who no longer does drugs (drinks but on occasion). I know of some other friends that had the same thing happen to them, and we all turned out great. Taught me a lesson I will never forget.
2007-05-25 18:47:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him a reality check and show him how much it will hurt him if he doesn't do something with his self. There are so may boys out there that go in the wrong direction and hang out with the wrong guys and end up in a gang then 6 feet under let him know that and see if that is what he wants.
2007-05-25 18:46:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
when people get so far into drugs and alcohol, they start not to care about anything anymore...most likely your not going to be able to get him to quit...my boyfriend (soon to be husband) went through this in high school and hes in rehab now and doing extremely well..he didnt graduate, but eventually got his GED and went to college...he didnt listen to anyone and hes really close to his mother ...but he put me and her through hell..it took him going to jail to realize what was going on...but i would try to do interventions and therapy and maybe having an authority figure (probation officer, police officer) talk to him or maybe someone he looks up to and trusts....what helped me with that is visiting a prison and heard stories from some inmates.....i used to smoke (never excessively) but going out with my boyfriend i was around alot of temptation and never did because i was aware more of the consequences....my mother moved me away and put me into a college prep school...it wasnt until then that i realized how bad my friends really are....i would suggest moving, or putting him/her in another school...nobody would blame you for taking drastic measures...my mom filed a CHINS on me...i would do that before he turns 18...then hell get drug tested and have visits from a probation officer....he/she might "hate" you now....but trust me he/she will thank you in the long run.
*a CHINS doesnt go on your record and he doesnt have to commit a crime...ive never committed a crime and have no record...you can file it for simply having an uncontrollable kid.
2007-05-25 18:52:17 · answer #7 · answered by MJ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take him to a morgue and let him see the dead body of a runaway or a gang member. That should be enough for now. If not, a good swift kick in the butt should be sufficient enough!
2007-05-25 19:35:01 · answer #8 · answered by Andrea 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send him to the juvenile detention center for a day or so and see how he turns out. If that don't work, send him to military school
2007-05-25 18:42:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send him to the army/boot camp, dont give him a choice. Be firm and persistent!
2007-05-25 18:42:26 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋