My 3 year old nephew behavior is stressing my sister out, does he have ADHD?

Question

First of all I have two boys of my own and my sister has two also. The 3 y/o boy acts out all the time , I never had to go through what my sister goes through. My nephew cries at least 3 or more times a day about something. He climbs on shelves or kitchen counter and has turn on stove knobs. When they're out they alway have to hold his hand and not let go or he will run without stopping like its a game. He cries if you dont let him do what he wants when it extremely dangerous. He cries when anybody leaves the house bcuz he wants to go. He rarely goes to bed early he always up to midnight becuz he doesnt want to go to sleep. He's constanly looking for something to destroy or make a mess. We have to watch hes where abouts all the time. we're afraid to leave him unattended for a second. When you want to discipline he cries his lungs out and will not listen to what you have to say. I feel bad for my sister bcuz I see how her life is with a difficult child.

Also I forgot to mention my brother-in-law ( child's father) had ADHD as a young child and had to go to therapy but it didnt help much he got older and got himself in trouble with the law. He was in a gang, he's grandparents stepped in and helped him. He straightend out and became a police officer.

Answer 1

Sweetie, sounds like you have a typical three year old on your hands.

A three year old who cries only three times a day is the oddity. As for his energy and not wanting to be left behind when anyone goes somewhere....I gotta wonder what is wrong with your kids that they didn't act like that as well at the age of three.

You labeling him a difficult child is mean both to the child and to your sister. I am the aunt to five nephews and the mother to one son. I have a B.S. in Early Childhood Development and have been the director of a preschool.

He will, of course, out grow this. You could be a little less judgemental for his and your sister's sake though.

Geez, he's a three year old boy, get a grip.

Answer 2

I don't know if ADHD can be formally diagnosed at age 3. However, it sure does sound like he's a likely candidate -- OR -- he might be just fine and it could be something he'll grow out of. If not that, then it could even be some kind of Autism Spectrum Disorder (PDD, Asperger's, something like that.) I am NOT a doctor of any sort, but I am a certified Special Ed teacher. Again, it could just be a phase. When he starts kindergarten, if he stands out as being different, he'll be assessed. Your sister could always choose to have him assessed before then.
GOOD NEWS -- if your nephew does turn out to have a condition, there are so many more treatments available today and so much more known about these things than even just a few years ago.

Answer 3

The thing with kids like that is they will push and push til thet get their way . kids learn young how to munipulate. My boys were the same way I couldn't keep a thing they would find it!!!Public was hell discipline was even worse. But over time i have realized they needed constincy.The same rules must apply at all times it takes awhile for the parent to stay consstent. But with a three year old start one thing at a time like climbing on the stove when he does that have the same punishment each time like no tv for an hour or in a corner for 15 min something that she can do. Because kids like that love empty threats because when thay get out of it they win!But my own personal rule when it comes to discipline is never geive the child a punishment you know you your self can not follow through with.my boys are know 10 1\2 and 9 and To this day if i give them slack they run with it.If she can try to do simple things to get him to listen over and over and over again it will stick and it will still be difficult but man it is when they get in school it really gets hard and if i knew know....But add &adhd are quick to be diagnosed these days and the first thing most docs do is medicine when really if you do your research behavior modification is really a good start so they can learn to control themselves.

Answer 4

At 3 years old I wouldn't be so quick to label this child with ADHD or ADD. To me it sounds like a discipline issue. What you have described are parents that aren't consistent with discipline - the rules have been made to be broken. Afterall, he cries if you don't give him what he wants. Don't forget with your own children - they are curious little buggers. Their curiocity doesn't stop at learning about life - they also learn about people. What makes them tick - how to push the limits. Toddlers are notorious for pushing parents to the end of reason. You may not have had the same things to deal with because you and your sister are different people with different parenting styles and approaches and you both have children with different likes and dislikes - different needs, different personalities. You have different situations. The best thing your sister can do is be consistent - and sometimes it it very hard to do. Children thrive on structure. I am curious to know if he is able to get away with all of these things throughout the day - is he getting enough attention? Does mom take him to the park - do they do activities together? Or is you nephew left to entertain himself through the day? If he does do these things - is he taught how to behave or is he left to do as he pleases (afterall he cries if he doesn't get what he wants). If all else fails, I strongly recommend that your sister talk to the pediatrician for advice or tests (ADD / ADHD) and maybe suggest that your sister take a parenting class - not because she is a bad parent, but because they can teach her strategies for becoming a better one. Good luck!

Answer 5

Listen my 3 year old sister had fun hitting me with big heavy objects. The only problem your cousin has is that his mother was very lucky before. all this kid needs is to understand repercussion oh his actions. I know he is small but he is as smart as the average hyena at that age and should be considered a worthy adversary. make a plan of rules and punishments for breaking them. if he cries when someone goes you don't let him leave the house the rest of the day. he doesn't want to sleep put him in his room and let him stay there till he does go to sleep. if he cries when u discipline him it will scare the crap out of him the second he doesn't see you giving in. get a grip in that kid or suffer him as a teenager.

Answer 6

You should tell her sister she has a strong willed child and she needs to read some books about it befor it gets out of hand. About a month of consistent firmness on what behaviors will not be tolerated, will cure him of his crying spells. She may need to elect the help of family memebers to come in and do the same redirecting and constant correcting to get a break so as not to lose her own temper and sanity. Together you can get this child under control, just remeber behavior is learned, bad behavior must be controlled by teaching a new more acceptable behavior in its place. For every one time a child is scolded, he must be praised 7 times for it to be well balanced, this will be the hardest thing to do for an exhausted mother of a strong willed child, but equally as important.

Answer 7

I too believe tha waaaaaaay to many people are making excuses with ADHD, I agree he's taken control of the house, and he may be acting out to get attention if he acts like that send him to his room and ignore him, otherwise if he continues I would definitely get the kid some therapy they can definitely straighten out a kid if he is acting out, but most times medication is not the answer and then afterwards the kid gets away with more anyways bc he's supposedly has ADHD America needs to stop using that as an excuse for every other child who decides not to behave

Answer 8

Limit his sugar intake first..No candy, sugar cereal,soda pop ect.That will get him so wired and high strung..then get him spend time reading to him, teaching him things, spend lots of time doing this. He sounds like he is hyper active and smart.and bored..Dangerous combination...He needs healthy distractions. Take him to a park to play where he can't hopefully do to much damage. Once you get him less destructive get him enrolled in daycare.

Answer 9

I believe ADHD is just and excuse, not a sickness. I would suggest putting the boy on a team at school or promote energy-consuming activitied during the day.

Answer 10

he has taken control of the situation in his house and he knows it. its time for your sister to regain control and put her foot down or he will just get worse as he gets older.