LADIES, Perhaps you can give a "nice guy some advice" please my hearts aching?

Question

well short version, i was dating this woman, best thing in my 30+ years and finally felt true love for someone. Anyway an herex came abck in picture. They were dating for 3 yrs and ended badly. She wanted personal closure with it all. We seperated and they talked and whatnot. Anyway thats totally over with in both their eyes. Even when they were talking her and i hung out all the time ( he lived out of town) we didnt do anything while they were talking. Now that she has the closure( it was hurtful closure for her) and now she wants nothing to do with a man, any man, even me. But she still wants to hang out as much as I do i think. She says that when she is ready for love again that she wants me there for that. Meanwhile she adores and truly appreciates what i have to offer. Me so confused. All i really want is to hold her in my arms while we sit together watching tv and stuff. Sex would be great but i just want to hold her and touch her hand. How do i make her heart leap. WHAT CAN I DO

Answer 1

Time to move on.

She's not interested in you, and the more you wait and want her back, the more she'll see you as a needy, dependant wuss.

Get another woman.

Answer 2

You won't make her heart leap again. She has to want to love again. She should have told her ex off when he came back, but she didn't. Usually, when the gal doesn't tell the ex off, it's because she wants him back. This closure thing is a load of crap. The only way to get it is to not have any more contact with the other guy. I wonder if she's back together with this guy and not telling you. I wouldn't wait around for her. You can do better than her. There are wonderful, available women. I preach hard against premarital sex due to situations like yours. Premarital sex brings so much heartache and confusion. Start looking and liking other women. Nothing wrong with placing an ad on yahoo personals, newspaper personals, whatever. If, after you've moved on, she wants to get back together, don't do it. She may play you all over again. I had a situation where an ex broke my heart. He came back sometime later saying he realized what he lost, etc. I told him I didn't want him back and didn't want any more contact. That's all your girlfriend had to do, but she didn't want to. Like I said, this closure thing is a load of crap.

Answer 3

Spock got it right. Many women cannot apply sensible thought to relationships, even if in other respects they are intelligent. Personnel experience too often repeated. I am considered by most women to be attractive, so I have no problem getting into a relationship. I have had a good career and rather successful. And a nice guy, calm and easygoing. The last relationship, was to a successful, smart, attractive women. After about 3 years out of the blue I am dumped after treating her for her birthday. And as it turns out, dumped for a real jerk. The reference of jerk is from a couple of her friends I had bumped into. This was a women that was briefly married to what has also been referred to as a real jerk, who had gotten into a fight and spent the wedding night in jail So I basically have given up, and have actually been becoming a little bit of a jerk. If there is any "problems" I promptly discard the women. At least I will have nothing to be upset about.

Answer 4

I'm afraid there isn't much to do. I think she just isn't attracted to you. Talking to her ex is a bad sign too . . . she shouldn't want to talk to him if things ended so badly. (Things like this make me wonder if women are gluttons for misery.) If that's not the case, then it should all straighten itself out eventually . . . in the meantime, you should talk to other women. She says she wants you to be there for when she wants to date again, but you need to tell her that you can't spend your whole life waiting around for something that might never happen. Tell her that you're going to date other women until she reaches a conclusion, and if you happen to meet a woman you get along with in the process you might stay with her. And then, if she doesn't change her mind, DO IT. Date tons of women. She's asking you to do something that's very unfair to you and not good for her either (if she's being honest, that is; she could be in a relationship with you treating her right instead of being alone, and that would be an improvement). Good luck!

Answer 5

Be patient with her. Some women are very sensitive and there heart can truely break. I believe every woman does need closure, sounds like her ex said or did something that has made her really upset. Talk to her about it, maybe she needs a shoulder to cry on, and not a boyfriend right now.

Answer 6

show her what a REAL man is. And if you feel like you cant hold on any longer or when you cant take any more, then tell her you cant do it any more because you want to me more. But dont 'play' that as a card. Only do that when you feel that way. ANd if she cant live without you then she will not let you leave. But untill you really feel that way, PLEASE show her what a REAL MAN is, we truly need that in our lives, as women.

Answer 7

You've done what you can-be yourself! If it is going to leap, it has to happen because she sees it. If she doesn't, don't worry. Just relax. Things happen when you let them go, so to speak!

If it is too difficult to carry on a friendship because you are feeling very emotional, perhaps you should be the one to walk away.

:)

Answer 8

here are two very romantic ideas but i have no idea what the cost is.

1)name a star after her and point it out.(make sure to tell her its brightness eminded you of her.

2)get a guy to take you on a ride in one of those plaines that leave smoke messages in the air and give her the exact location were youll be then tell her to look up then write in smoke i love you (name).

hoped this helped.
have a happly ever after

Answer 9

Just let her be for a while. She'll come around. Give her some space but if she wants to hang out then hang out. Dont pressure her at all. Then she'll realize she wants to be with you.

Answer 10

wait and when she's 100% ready to love again, then marry her. duh...or just tell her that you love her with all your heart and that you truly know that you've found your soulmate--who was standing in front of you during the whole time.