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My friend is a stay-at-home Mom. She says her daughter's mind is still developing and is used to her attention 24/7. I am an ECE Major. We were taught that this age is not too soon to teach a child to remain quiet when adults are talking. She had crayons and a coloring book. My friend would play with her sometimes, but was not firm about being her interruptions during lunch. My parents told us "Children are seen and not heard". Meaning we needed to be quiet at times. Was my friend being permissive with her daughter?

2007-05-25 08:37:44 · 29 answers · asked by LAgirl 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting Toddler & Preschooler

29 answers

With consistant teaching, the kid will start knowing that they cannot talk when others are talking. Just like everything it has to be taught. My daughter is almost 3 1/2 and she will interrupt but all I have to do is tell her to wait I'm talking and she will wait.

2007-05-25 08:48:47 · answer #1 · answered by Lindsay H 1 · 1 0

A 3 1/2 year old is perfectly capable of being quiet for a few minutes while adults discuss things. I do think it is unfair to ask them to be quiet during an hour long conversation. That doesn't mean you can only talk for 5 minutes. Just don't expect the child to go do their own thing for an hour. At that age I believe they will be able to handle short answers to questions and a break for them ask and answer questions every 15 min or so. My 2 year old is capable of going an doing her own thing for 15 min so I can talk to someone. She will come into the room for about 5 min and expect some attention and then go do her own thing for another 15 min. Although every kids is different and she is a very good kid. I think 3 1/2 is beyond time to start teaching some manors! I don't believe in the "Children are seen and not heard" approach. They do need to feel important and included in conversation at times. I do think that alot of the things you are leaning now in you ECE classes you will probably throw out once you actually have kids. I am sure you are learning alot of great stuff too. Just realize that being a parent and learning from your kids is better than any class ever! And like I said every kids is different so there can't be a book for all. You are learning to take care of kids in a group situation which is totally different than parenting!

2007-05-25 08:51:06 · answer #2 · answered by Amy 1 · 1 0

Of course she can be told to remain quiet, but that doesn't mean that she will. The key is to have the child engaged with something, and it sounds like she tried to do that with coloring. It's okay to be firm about interruptions, but I wouldn't say that she was being too permissive or anything. It doesn't sound like that big of deal. The key, though, in your question is that it is not too soon to 'teach' a child to be quiet. One must put a bit of work in to ensure the child understands the expectation at that moment. It's not enough to say be quiet and give them a coloring book usually. Teaching, though, where the child is taught the expectations, given opportunities to practice and then doing it for real, is the key. Teach children the expectations and they will usually respond.

2007-05-25 08:51:51 · answer #3 · answered by prekinpdx 7 · 0 1

Certainly it's old enough to teach children that. It's very hard.....they want to be the center of attention. The sooner you start, the better for most things. It's up to your friend and how she wants to raise her daughter....I'd think most people want to be able to hold conversations with grownups without interruption...but maybe your friend doesn't think it's the right time. Some are not educated in the development of children. I was an ECE major as well....is your friend educated on children?

2007-05-25 08:48:58 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1 0

Well, I'm a father of 2 and of course no two kids are the same but what worked with my kids was not telling them to be quite while adults talk but explaining to them, one on one, that just like everybody else they have to wait there turn. You have to understand that children are as smart as adults. the only thing that differs is the life experience. And by giving them that experience in real life situations helps there development, weather it's waiting for there turn to talk or looking both ways before crossing the street. So, no you can't tell a three year old to keep quiet 'cuz a three year old WILL get your attention if you want it or not.

2007-05-25 08:49:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

By 3 1/2, the child already knows who's boss. It's a shame by the time your friend finds out she will blame it on the child.

The only chance we get to teach children there are rules is before they are one (1) year old.

They understand the universal communication of body language and tonality, when we think 'goo goo' is cute. They don't need words to understand us.

To many parents try to give a lengthy explanation when all the child needs to understand is, NO. And don't back down.

2007-05-25 09:08:24 · answer #6 · answered by Caretaker 7 · 1 0

Yes she was. Children need to be educated and disciplined at a young age. My daughter is 15 months old and she is very well behaved. When we have people over to our place, she always minds her own business and goes to where her toys are. IF she gets hungry or thirsty, she will come up to me and I KNOW she wants something. So as soon as someone stops talking I look at her and ask her what she wants. She either tells me wawa or makes a motion with her mouth to show she's hungry. I am not saying she's perfect.. when she gets sleepy, she does get a little fussy, but that's understandable.

2007-05-25 08:43:11 · answer #7 · answered by Jan 6 · 0 0

3 and 1/2 year old children are capable of being taught to follow rules about etiquette. You have to be prepared for to remind them a lot though. they haven't developed a lot of patience at that age, and they will interrupt before thinking about it. If you remind them, they can wait for a little while before they talk. The child isn't yours though and everyone has different parenting styles, so maybe your friend is just taking a different approach than you would.

2007-05-25 08:51:51 · answer #8 · answered by Daybreak 5 · 0 1

tell your son that he could desire to hearken to you by way of fact you're his mommy. clarify to him that each and every time he does not pay attention, there will be effects. i could make a timeout chair in a corner or in basic terms some place the place you will locate him. he will could desire to take a seat there for 3.5 minutes (one minute in line with twelve months). be sure you clarify to him the thought-approximately timeout, and if he screams and cries once you place him there (which he will do in the initiating) tell him that it is his option to the two pay attention to you and no timeout, or do no longer pay attention and a timeout. while he tries to upward thrust up, the time will start up as quickly as extra. And while he has effectively taken the timeout, ask him why he have been given it and what he can do next time so he won't could desire to have yet another one. provide him a hug afterwards, make valuable he says he's sorry, and enable him flow play. i'm hoping this helps! terrific of success! -Elle

2016-10-06 01:18:21 · answer #9 · answered by bebber 4 · 0 0

At that age, you cannot expect to have no interruptions. But, at the same time, the child should be reminded that they shouldn't interrupt. Don't expect it not to happen, though. Its all a part of the learning process. They need to learn to use manners, but, I don't really believe the old saying "children are seen and not heard".That sounds mean to me.

2007-05-25 08:45:51 · answer #10 · answered by me 6 · 1 0

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