Advice only? Please don't be rude about it...?

Question

Advice? I have a guy problem....?
Ok I have been seeing this guy for around 8 months not exclusivly. in the begining he was back and forth w/ his ex. they are now done for good. I really care about him and he knows this. We started out just as friends and began hangin out more and more. I know he see's well atleast talks to other girls but he always seems to be w/ me we hang out a couple nights durning the week and come friday we usually hang out and Saturday he'll go out w/ his friends for a while and then meet up w/ my friends and I at the bar. I really care about him . Sometimes I think I'm his sounding board though he comes to me w/ every problem he'll call all hours to talk he'll text all the time. I have met & hung out w/ him and his 4 year old child a couple times. we met when he was just getting out of a long relationship & he says he doesn't want a relationship. I am unsure what to do I really care about him. Am I wasting my time? Should I avoid him& see what happens? or keep it as is? does he want 2 b w me

Answer 1

Out of respect for yourself, and your feelings, just ask him. Tell him that you love spending time with him, etc, and that you would like to make it official that you are dating exclusively.

Answer 2

a number of issues will be happening right here, yet I do propose that you flow take a being pregnant try. because you had sex, there is the prospect of being pregnant. because you stopped taking your birth control then began taking it again, your body might want to easily be very at a loss for words. i become on birth control for 3 years, and a pair months out of the 365 days I nevertheless began my era a pair of days previous due. I by no potential took any breaks from my pills till i become waiting to have a toddler. surely, the great suggestion that i'm able to provide you with is to flow take a hpt. If that comes decrease back unfavourable, then i might want to agenda an appointment with a well being care professional. they could then make sure if you're pregnant or no longer, and likely provide you with a proof as to why it truly is occurring. it will be that you elect a better tablet than the single you've been on. sturdy success!

Answer 3

Keep your options open! OMG! I have had this EXACT dilemma before (child included), so I know what you are going through.

My advice is to keep him in your life if he makes you happy. However, you should not be sitting at home concentrating on him, but continuing to go out with other guys and your normal friends. Don't miss someone good if they come along, and DO NOT MAKE HIM A PRIORITY. He WILL try to monopolize your time, but only allow him to spend as much time with you as YOU want. They always want the best of both worlds while you sit around thinking, "there is everything present for a valuable relationship except the title, what's the diff," right?

In my situation, I just wanted to be with the guy so bad, but he didn't want a relationship. I eventually began dating my now boyfriend of 3 yrs. I am very happy with him, but in the beginning couldn't really get over the first guy. Over time, I got over him....I talk to him every once in a while, and we are friends.

I think the whole situation brought us closer to be honest. During the time that he and I were dating, I couldn't determine if he was seriously interested in me. He said he didn't want a relationship, though we were sexual with one another, and he always wanted to be around me. It is now that I understand how he really felt about me. I loved him, and he loved me just as much. But, sometimes men are just STUPID. He'll even admit that we should have been more than what we were. I was everything he wanted, but b/c he thought not having a committment was best, he missed out. I know if ever the opportunity presented itself where I was single and he was too, we'd be togetther.

It's funny how it's so confusing while you're going through these situattions, but sooooo clear after. I say if he's a good guy and you know it, keep it like it is...if you can accept it. If you cannot accept this relationship being open, then DO NOT CONTINUE SEEING HIM. Regardless of his actions (calling, texting, hanging out), ignore them. You need to listen to his words. If he doesn't want a relationship right now, do not waste your time trying to convert his thoughts...he'll come around if the feelings are there. Do not avoid him, I think it lessons your opportunity to get where you want to be. You need to be direct! Tell him what you are feeling without expectations of what you think she "should" say. If he is still "not wanting a relationship" right now, drop it. Do not be a nag...again, he'll come around if the feelings are there. Until he does, it's hard but, move on while keeping him at arms reach. Nothing that is worth pursuing is a waste of time! You just determine if he's worth it.

Hope this was somewhat helpful to you. Good Luck!
Hope this is

Answer 4

From my experience, when someone begins a "relationship" saying they don't want one, and finds it easy to go to the other person with all their problems etc. it's probably easier for him than deciding to commit to you. The problem is, i've done this myself, and what ended up happening was I wasn't willing to risk losing that option I had, and was not attracted enough to the person to look at him romantically. But i would say if you are such good friends you should be able to talk to him about it. Let him know what you're feeling, and ask him if there is something there, and if you could start pursuing it. But you will have to know what your limits are beforehand. If he says he can only be friends with you, are you going to be ok with that, or will you let it go?

Answer 5

you said it he just got out of a long relationship and doesnt want a relationship but look at it this way you ARE in a relationship with him cant you see that??? you 2 have been together for 8 months, just let things flow, i dont think you wasting you time you seem to have a good thing going. but i wont hurt to ask him to talk about whats bothering you

Answer 6

Are you wasting your time? Nobody here can know that. Although he did tell you he didn't want an ltr right now, it's up to you to decide if hoping he'll change his mind is a waste of your time.

Should you avoid him and see what happens? What purpose would that serve?

Does he want to be with you? That's a question that only he knows the answer to.

Answer 7

Sounds like you're his buddy. It could take him years to get over his past relationship. Tell him how you feel and what you want from a relationship. You may not be far apart or you two may be running side by side on parallel tracks. You really need to discuss this so you both can move forward. Best to you all! ;-)=

Answer 8

Wasting your time, sorry. You said you feel like a sounding board, and you're right. He said he doesn't want a relationship. Besides, he already has a 4 year old child, and isn't with the mother, so his family values are rather low. Find yourself a good guy who wants to be with you, who doesn't make you wait and who wants a relationship.

Answer 9

You need to relax and enjoy your time with him. It sounds like the two of you spend much time together. Make that quality time for him and for you..allow the relationship to develop and take the space for the both of you to grow....it may be hard to imagine what this relationship may turn out to be in the future...and that the trick.....we only have today....so make the best of it and time will help to build the best relationship ever.Jayacoach

Answer 10

Okay Sweetie, I think you should just hang around a bit longer. It's obvious he cares about you. Your like one of his bestfriends it sounds like. Just stay by him and always be there for him. I'm sure he'll get over his past relationships and such and move on. & then you'll be there right by his side and he'll realize that...and who knows what will happen then. :]

Answer 11

I'm sorry sweets, but he is no good. At least for a romantic relationship. He sounds like a great friend, though. You need to find someone dedicated to you for a romantic relationship. My suggestion is to find a better man.