Living alone at 25?

Question

I am living alone for the first time in my life, I have my own house and have been alone since my ex financee 2 years ago.

I feel so alone in the world, don't know whats wrong with me and why I can;'t find anyone. I am a tad depressed and sick of being alone, it depresses me and effects my work.

I just feel life is passing my by and this is it, nothing to look forward to as nothing has changed in two years. I have 2 close friends but they have there own partners and kids on way, so they are very busy. My other group friends I have found are not, stabbed me in the back.

I feel like this is it in life, I have given it 2 years and I am no happier. I was so happy when I was with my x, I know people say join clubs but can;t really think of any I would like to join.

I just feel very alone going home to an empty house each night and every weekend, have wondered if happy pills would at least make life happier or easier for me. I don't know what to do to change things

Answer 1

no this happens to most ppl,,,specially if they have strong bonds with their family,,,!!!
ull get used to it sooner or later, because u have to!!!
and because its natural to feel tht way,,,just like the 1st day at school,,,at first u dnt like it n u want to go home!!,,,but thn u have to learn to live with it,and u get used to it,,!!!
u can call ur friends from time to time,,,rent a movie,,,order pizza,,,! drink a beer or two,,,!!
dnt worry!!

Answer 2

Mate, the best bit of advice I have ever been given is to look at the bigger picture. You are probably thinking 'shut the hell up', but it is true. I know. I have been where you are and I admit, it is a bleak place, but the exit door is there with a flashing neon sign.

To start, sit back and calm down. Stop thinking. Then walk around your house and look - look at YOUR domain, YOUR home, YOUR castle. Everything you see within it, however much, is YOURS.

Then go and stand outside your house - look at it. IT IS YOURS! You have a home! This is your spot in an ever-growing world where you call the shots - (yes, you are governed by laws but you know what I mean). You have a place in this world and it is your home. You have a job, money, a computer (or at least access to one), fresh water, clothes, music and your health. There is always somebody out there who is truly worse off than you are.

Perhaps a change of career is needed? Why not get a job somewhere fun like a Tourist Attraction or a shop? Anywhere that you will MEET people is good. Clubs are ok - maybe join a book club, a snooker club or enrol at a local college. Or just go out and do whatever you enjoy doing - in my experience you will meet a friendly stranger along the way.

However crappy you feel now, this is NOT all there is to life. You are gonna come out the other end of this, I guarantee it! You are not a lonely freak, you are human - and with being human comes all these crappy feelings of loneliness, but EVERYBODY has felt this as some time in their lives. Do not take happy pills, they are quite the opposite.

I hope this has helped you. You may feel like it, but you are not the only person in the world feeling like this.

Answer 3

I understand where you're coming from. I went through a painful break-up when I was 28 and lived alone for a couple of years afterwards. At the time, it felt like the hardest thing I ever did. Most of my friends were married, some had kids, everyone had something to do and someone to do it with and my life felt a bit empty. I worked, I went to grad school and went out with friends (but only every 1-2 weeks). I tried going to church; that didn't do it for me, but it's a thought if you're inclined. I wasn't into joining clubs, either, although I did go to a gym (for the workout, not the mating potential). The turning point for me was when I learned to truly enjoy and appreciate my solitude. I realized what a luxury it was to have the freedom to decide what I wanted to do (if anything), where I wanted to go and when, with no one to answer to. I read a lot, checked out obscure bookstores, went to community events (yes, often alone) and generally built a solitary life. It wasn't long after I found I could be happy as a single person that I suddenly started meeting men and being asked out. At one point, I was actually juggling 3 boyfriends. I dropped 2 and married the third! Now that I'm a mother of twins and have endless responsibilities and very little time to myself, I look back fondly on those peaceful days when I lived alone. Although I'm very happy with my life now, I'm glad I had the opportunity to 'make it' on my own and learn who I was and all that before I settled down. I hope things work out similarly for you. I guess my long-winded answer is saying, get out in the world often--even if it's by yourself--accept any and all (reasonable) invitiations that come your way, and see what happens. Meanwhile, build yourself a solid and happy single life and you probably won't stay that way for long! Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

Depression is a chemical imbalance that needs to be treated first. Once you find a medication that helps you may be more interested in doing other things and joining a group but while your chemically depressed your not going to be interested in doing much of anything as depression causes you to lose interest in activities, etc.

Once you start to feel better just get out of the house. Go where other people are. Enjoy music, go out to a concert. Look for things to do in your area, some cities offer free concerts in the park in the summer etc.

What about volunteering? Find a cause you can support and volunteer sometimes helping others can help you feel good about life again, etc.

If you like animals what about a pet? Pets are great therapy.

Join a healthclub, excercise can really help with depression. Is there swim club or sport you enjoy?

But I would start off with a trip to the doctor. Here is a link for a website that has all kinds of information about depression including dealing with it on a day to day basis. I wish you all the best, it's important to realize there are millions of others who are going through the same thing.http://www.depression.com/

Answer 5

Happy pills might lift your mood a bit but will not take your problems away. It might seem overwhelming but take things in bite size pieces. Make small changes a little at a time. Why not re decorate your house ( has it ever been done since you split with your ex?), overhall your wardrope.You have to let go the past before you can take hold of the future. Invite people you work with out for a drink or a meal. It takes courage to break out of this cycle and although your friends have partners, theyr'e still your friends. I'm sure their partners woulndn't mind if you had an odd night out together.

Answer 6

THE FIRST RESPONSE WAS FROM A JERK!!!

Girl lots of us have been there,
Break ups are never easy and usually leave a person lonely internally. There a couple of documentaries that are motivational "What the bleep do we know" & "The Secret"
we all can control our lives and what happens in them.
A great book is "Your best life now" author Joel Olsteen he is a motivational pastor and is absolutley GREAT! He's also on TV. There are so many self help books out there.
What you need is to get motivated within yourself and take a different out look on life, so your in this temporary slump that doesn't mean it will last forever.
Gyms are great working out energizes you and relieves stress, or you can simply go outside and walk the fresh air and sunshine do the body good.
Maybe get a pet of some kind I'm a dog person and they sure can make you happy.......

Good luck to you

Answer 7

As a guy, you can go out to a dance club by yourself, hang by the bar and then talk to the cute girls hanging around, waiting for someone to talk to them;) I know, sounds maybe shallow, but as a guy you can do this. I've met some guys that did that..nothing embarassing, it's what guys have to do. And there are soo many girls that at the end of the night leave a club kind of sad that no one has noticed they're pretty and lonely and ready to get out of the house on a date with a hansome 25-year-old guy...Just smile, relax, dress clean, get a modern haircut, use a good cologne.
(Now, I do not advocate clubbing or meeting people this way. Church is another place with many single people..the gym too...or a class at college/university..a running club in your area...).

I know that exactly when we need and want thing badly , we don't get what we want immediately. But if you have patience and humility, faith in God..become at peace with yourself, accept to slow down a bit...and somehow good things will come your way. No rush. Besides, you're only 25, which is so young!


one idea: I know your best friends are married...but can you talk to them in private and somehow hint to them about how you feel...they'll listen to you as best friends do and possibly they can introduce you to some other friends that are still single and that you could hang out with..or even better, sometimes their wives have pretty, single, girl friends. One of my best friends has met her husband through a friend..she never thought this would happen..but it did. :) You never ever know in what way you'll meet a very pretty girl:)

God bless!

Answer 8

you are 25 and have your own home...that is something to be proud of.
try to make more friends at work...join a bowling team, start golfing...anything.
Your happiness comes from within...a man is only a temporary fix..if you are not happy within yourself then you will end up being unhappy again even if you are with someone. I waited 48 years for my Mr Right...went through a lot of lonely times...it is a good time to reflect on you and your life and make changes...evaluate yourself and change the things you don't like...then get out there and meet people!
It is hard to get started at first, but it does work and "happy pills" are not the answer...they just cover the problem. You will be fine...so smile and laugh at yourself as much as you can and go to work on you

be cool...

Answer 9

Alone doesn't = lonely. There are people who live alone and are single who have full, happy lives...and people who are in relationships and have many others around them, and are desperately lonely.

Make your life what you want it to be. Your happiness is up to you, not anyone else. Take up hobbies, take classes, join social groups, go to cultural festivals, walk in the park and chat with people there, etc. You can make more friends if you really want them...

...when you like who you are and are happy with your life as a single, is when you'll be in the best position to be a good partner to someone else. You won't be needy or clingy, but an independent person who desires to share their life with someone they dig, not who "needs" a partner.

Good luck!

Answer 10

Well Im very sorry I feel you! I had the same issue when me and my Ex fiance broke up.. I just played Videogames online ALOT... Like the Xbox Live- So you are talking to people and playin at the same time.. Makes your time go by faster and you can meet some interestin people on there.. lol I ended up meeting my current husband playing! So anything is possible dont give up just yet your still young!

Answer 11

Your not alone. I remember feeling the same way at 25, and I was a busy girl, like you I hated the empty house. So I moved into a cool victorian house with roomates, but made sure to have a lock on my bedroom door. I did alot of fun things living there with roomies and never ate alone. Please pray for a husband and God will give you your intended. Do rekindle your relationship with Christ and pray with your community at church. Worked for me!