Tricky question about adoption vs biological children.?

Question

l don't mean to offend anyone on either side of the fence, and let me make it clear, l don't have either type of child yet! What l'm wondering is, do you think you can love an adopted child the SAME, as you love a biological child? I don't mean you can't love them equally, but can you love them in the same way. Also, and again l mean no offence, do you think the idea of wanting your own 'flesh and blood' is natural or selfish? Please answer honestly.

Answer 1

I am adopted and never felt loved differently by my parents. My dad also has a biological child with his first wife, who came and lived with us for several years. He went from a part time child to having three full time children. it was hard for him, but he didn't love us any different.y. Having said that, I also think that it took time for them to love us the same. we were 3 and 4 when adopted (me and my older sister) and i can't see it being easy having two children just show up into your house and be totally in love with them instantly. It is something that can take time, but it is possible.

Answer 2

My father was adopted and raised as an only child. When I found that out, I felt like I didn't know half of who I am. I don't know my full history. I used to be all about adoption but now, I'm not so sure. I think that if you can not have children of your own, then you would love the adopted child just the same because it still takes a lot of time and effort. Also, I believe that just because someone has a biological child, it does not mean that the parents are good ones. Just because you have a kid, it doesn't mean that you are a Mom or Dad. You could be a really bad parent and just be a Mother or Father. It takes strong people to be moms and dads. My father has never really been the best of dads and I'm his own flesh and blood. However, his parents were the only ones he ever knew and he loved them dearly. I don't know if there is any right or wrong answer to your question. It's a good one though, it really gets you thinking. I guess the bottom line here is that you need to do whatever you feel is right. What does your heart tell you? It's only natural to want to have your own... I don't feel that it's selfish at all. But, at the same time, think about all the children of the world who don't have a mommy and daddy to love them. The choice is your own...

Answer 3

I think wanting your own 'flesh and blood' is both natural and selfish... natural = selfish. Genes want to procreate.

I don't think you love any child in exactly the same way as any other child, so I don't particularly care for that part of the question.

I personally would like a bunch (say, 8) of natural kids and I'd also like to adopt some kids later (not newborns), but it looks like the state of Texas won't allow the latter (you can't have more than 6 kids total if you want to adopt, including the adopted kids), so we'll see. I would still want to host exchange students though.

Answer 4

We have both, I have 2 step-kids, 3 by birth and 1 we adopted (she was our last). The answer is yes, you can love them the same, the kids don't walk around saying "this is my half-brother and my adopted sister, we simply say we have 6 kids.
I think wanting a biological child is absolutely normal. Most people do, except my 11 yr. old. She has decided there are to many precious lives that don't have a good home and she is going to adopt. (no she's not the adopted one, she's by birth)
i don't know your situation, but if conception is not an option or there is already a child and you want to adopt another. Don't worry, it may sound fake, but it's the same each way. the first time you hold that baby, she's yours, regardless of how she came to be.

Answer 5

It's normal to want to reproduce a little version of yourself and your spouse. I'm always daydreaming about my future kids! I would consider adopting too and I can't even fathom the idea of not loving an adopted child the same way as a biological child. So yes, I think you can love any child that you are a parent of, regardless of whether they have your genes or not.

Answer 6

I only have biological kids, but I could definitely love an adopted child just as much. It's not about blood it's about opening your whole heart to someone and never letting go of them. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting your own flesh and blood, I love that my daughter has my mom's nose, but if you cannot conceive, I think it is selfish to say that to someone (partner) who wants to adopt.

Answer 7

Well I am an expecting mother(with my first) an I am forming a bond with this baby inside of me so I am sure you could love an adopted child it certainly would be a different love for me.

I have 2 close friends and a cousin who were adopted and they all blame their birth parents for giving them up. None of them believed they were treated right by their adoptive families.

So if I had to make a choice I would say go the extremes all adopted/fostered or all biological.

Answer 8

I think in some ways you love each child equally but differently, so I don't suppose it would be any different for an adopted child. I think its normal to want your own flesh and blood, and for most people that's first choice. But I've seen adopted families and their children are loved as much as any other child I know.

Answer 9

No, that's not selfish for wanting your own biological child. I have an adopted child and I cannot see loving him any differently than a biological child. According to his birth certificate, I am his mother and that's how I see myself.

Answer 10

I raised three children with such a love that I would give my life for them.
When I was in my late 50s we adopted a Baby girl from China. I was asking myself the same question as you ask, on my way to China. I can't even say when it happened but between the time she was placed into my arms and the next morning I found that not only would I die for her, but I damn well was going to live as long as I could for her. That was in January 1996.