Bring on your best religious joke.
Can you make him laugh?
I'd say...God how could you leave out Nintendo in the Bible when there's already a Genesis? :-)
2007-05-25 07:04:37 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
"God.. please let me in.."
"But.. but... that's not a joke!...."
"Father!... Fatherrrrrrrrr! (and down i go)"
nahhhhh... Big Daddy knows i love Him. I know He can take that. :)
2007-05-25 07:09:31 · answer #1 · answered by nuttynellie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband’s blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch.
2016-05-17 21:25:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither are hurt. They crawl out of their cars and the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There's nothing left but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days." And the priest said, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God."
And the rabbi said, "And look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of Mogen David wine didn't break, surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." He handed the bottle to the priest. The priest said he agreed, took a few big swigs, and handed the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi took the bottle, didn't drink at all, put the cap on, and handed it back to the priest. The priest asked, "Aren't you going to have any?" And the rabbi replied, "No . . . I think I'll just wait for the police."
2007-05-28 14:35:45 · answer #3 · answered by nikaaaay 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The true story of the Ten Commandments:
Moses went up Mt. Sinai and said to God "I don't know what to do with the Israelites any more. They lie, they steal, they kill each other...I'm at the end of my rope!"
God replied....
"Take these two tablets and call me in the morning"
2007-05-25 07:11:56 · answer #4 · answered by jamesfrankmcgrath 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
God is all about humor. People tell of this all the time whne they have a near death experience and saw him/Jesus in Heaven.
...I'd just say, man so once upon a time there is you, this wonderful, great, and almighty God who created everything, gave us eternal life, freedom of choice, and offered eternal paradise. Then came along a guy called Satan and thought he could do better and actually opposed you. HAHAHAHA!! man, how ignorant and foolish.
2007-05-25 08:09:43 · answer #5 · answered by anymous9051 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'd recount Genesis...that's always good for a laugh!
2007-05-25 07:07:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Q) How many fleas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A) Only two - the trick is getting them inside the lightbulb.
2007-05-25 07:17:36 · answer #7 · answered by Joe M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does a cab driver on the moon and
a dead athiest have in common?
All dressed up and know where to go.
2007-05-25 07:23:08 · answer #8 · answered by PENMAN 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
one day a roll of toilet paper and a toothbrush were setting on the bathroom counter:
the toothbrush said, "somdays I feel like i have the worse job in the world."
The toilet paper said, " ya, right"
2007-05-25 07:10:30 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My best religious jokes are really offensive. Sorry. =0(
My BEST joke is a Scottish joke...
2007-05-25 07:07:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'd tell him the Earth is round.
2007-05-25 07:07:35 · answer #11 · answered by JellyBean 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋