Help with my 9 year old???:)?

Question

I have a daughter who is 9 and I'm not sure if I should put a television into her bedroom. She is saying that all of her friends have one. I bought her one and it came with a dvd player. Since then her grades have been dropping. She is in 3rd grade so she needs to do well. Now she is asking for an ipod, PSP, Laptop, makeup, thongs, bras. I think she thinks that because she has a tv she is an adult. I told her no but she begs and begs. What should I do? I don't want to give in to her.


Any advice???




P.S. She also has a boyfriend and writes in her diary about kissing, makingout, and sex!! This tv is teaching her too much.

Answer 1

you have got to be kidding me!
How old are you?

Answer 2

REMOVE that television from her bedroom!!! there is no need for a 9 year old to have a television in her room. As far as the other things go - just say no except for the IPOD, and monitor what is on it. No PSP, Laptop makeup (on a 9 year old - ya right) thongs & bras??? is this kid out of her mind? Just keep saying no and do not give in to her, she is 9 and in 3rd grade, she is the kid you are the adult. if you give in you're giving in to her attention seeking behaviour and she'll only ask for more and more outrageous things. (like a car at 16) So no none of those items are actually needed for a child (except maybe the IPOD and only if she pulls up her grades)
So "all her friends" her friends have a tv in their bedrooms. Well you tell her that you are not the mom of those friends and that she doesn't have to have exerything that her friends have.

I don't condone snooping and reading a diary - but in this case, keep a close eye on her if she continues to write in her diary what you have indicated - that could be a very big cry for help.

Answer 3

I have a 9 year old boy (and a 7 year old) and Yes TV influences a lot of what they want. And you do hear this friend has this and that. The Boys have a TV in there room but it is only allowed to be on during certain times, as with the Computer that is in the living room. (I'm not passing judgment) My nine year old is at the girlfriend stage, where they are more friends then Girl / Boyfriend. I guess the bras and thongs are a girl thing that I have not clue about. But I would be very concerned about the diary entries. If it's the TV influencing the sexual relationships or not, if it was one of my Sons I would be very very concerned and figure out a way to address it. - just my 2 cents

Answer 4

I have 4 children, ages 28, 25, 22, and 9 (a girl, also a big surprise who was conceived after 11 years on the Pill). My 9 year old has also given me the song and dance that "every one" but her has a TV in their room. I've been a mom for a long time and that doesn't faze me one bit. I firmly believe that a TV does not belong anywhere but the living room or family room where the content of shows, videos, DVDs can be monitored by us, the parents. My older children never had a TV in their room until they were adults and bought one for themselves. Your daughter begs and begs because that is what she did for the TV and it worked to get her what she wanted. She'll keep on doing it if you keep giving her what she begs for. There is precious little on TV anymore appropriate for children and all but a few movies are appropriate either. If her behavior can be directly linked to increased TV watching, I suggest you take it out of her room. Let her beg, but decide what you will allow and what you won't and then STICK with it. It's hard, but your goal is not to be her best friend, but to be her parent. When my older 3 were little I always knew I was doing a good job when I was called "the worst mom in the world". All 3 are now responsible, productive, caring, successful adults. It was well worth the hassle when they were young to hear them now call me "the best mom in the world" and thank me for doing what I did even though they didn't like it at the time. Bottom line - the TV is a priviledge to be earned. Take it out of her room.

Answer 5

No, I don't think a TV is appropriate in a 9 year old's bedroom. Besides, if you are worried about the content you should have a parental block installed and monitor what she is watching. My daughter is 13, recently got a TV in her room, and it is set on a timer to shut off at 9pm, will not allow programs above a 'PG' rating, and is password protected. I watch EVERY movie or video before she is allowed to see it. She has an MP4 player, but I am the only one that downloads to it. NO thongs!!!! They are not only sexually provocative, but can also lead to vaginal irritation, or an infection. My daughter wears a bra because she needs one, not because of her age. She has a MYSPACE account and e-mail that is monitored constantly. I know her friends and her friends parents. She does not leave the house without an adult chaperon. (not even to the movies, the mall, or Wal-Mart)

If you are truly concerned about her well-being, don't be her friend, be her parent and learn to say "NO!!!"

Answer 6

You should write two books: "How to Turn Your Sweet, Innocent Little Girl Into a Stripper WannaBe By The Age of 9", and "I'm The Worst Parent Alive...Including Those Parents In Cannabalistic Societies Where Eating Your Young Is Allowed - An Autobiography"

Even those kids have a happier ending than the one you and your daughter will endure. Geez!! I think when you mentioned that she was asking for a laptop you misunderstood. She wants to dance on a lap...oh never mind. All I can say is please never procreate again. You are not good at this parenting thing. In fact, you suck. Which is where your little girl is heading if you don't LEARN HOW TO PARENT! Quickly.

Answer 7

I'm sorry but TV is not the only thing to blame here. Young kids want to grow up fast. Having an ipod or psp is totally normal for a kid. They are toys!! A laptop can be used for doing school work and now days kids are learning how to use powerpoint at the age of 6! Makeup, thongs, and bras are something that will be part of your daughters everyday attire. Of course at the age of 9 lots of makeup may be extreme, but what does a little lip gloss hurt? Come on now.

As far as the TV goes I would let her have one in her room but let it be a priviledge. If she gets good grades and keeps them up, then she can watch it. If not, then take it out of her room until she shapes up again.

Answer 8

Oh thank God I have boys!!!! Well, first of all I don't suppose I would give in to the TV until the grades are up especially since she has other things on her mind keeping her distracted from school work. Nine is not the age for boyfriends in that type of way and the makeup should be kept to simple lip gloss. Thongs and bras don't seem tat bad to me but as far as the lap top, etc I see possible trouble unless the grades are attended to first or at least kept to weekend and summertime use only for now. good luck!!!

Answer 9

Televisions do NOT belong in bedrooms. A bedroom is for quite activities such as reading as well as sleeping. It has been prove that television in kids rooms causes sleep disorders that lead to sleep deprivation.
"Potentially disruptive influences such as watching television or listening to music while in bed should be avoided."*

She is also far too young for an ipod, psp, laptop, makeup, thongs if she NEEDS a bra she should wear one. What should you do if she contiues to beg? Ignore her. And at 9 she should NOT have a boyfriend. And don't balme the television for teaching her these things. Blame the parent who isn't supervising what her child is doing.

Answer 10

Woah, woah, woah there! 9 years old is WAY too young to be thinking about boyfriends, dating, thongs, etc. Take that TV out, and pronto. Keep it somewhere where she can't get to and tell her that as soon as she improves her grades and stops with the nonsense she can have the TV back, but put a parental control block on the TV (if the TV has this feature) and only allow her to watch age-appropiate channels.

Answer 11

You posting seems to be placing all of the blame for your daughter's behavior on the TV. That by itself is just not possible. I would think that her friends and your home environment most have a heavier influence on her attitude. At 9, she is a little girl. You still have control over her actions. Talk to her and explain how a 9 year old is not ready for the type of things she wants to experience with. If it does not help, consider enrolling her in after school programs and weekend sport clubs to keep her mind busy with productive stuff. Good luck!