2007-05-25 06:20:11 · 11 answers · asked by Annette B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He is isolating her so no one else can see how abusive he is. Thats the first sign of an abusive man.
Unless she gets fed up with him however theres not much you can do. She has gain some self respect first. The more you criticize him the more she will stand up for him. So its best to not say anything. If you witness any abuse report him to the police.
2007-05-25 06:41:50 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter was in the same kind of relationship for years. Everyone in the family could see she would walk on egg shells around her partner. Mental abuse is the worse kind and does the most damage in the long run. The only thing you can do is communicate in a nice soft manner to your daughter about how she is being treated and isolated from family and friends. Yes she needs to see this for what it is. My daughter was in denial for eight years before she left him. She has been on her own for two years now raising two children and they all go for counselling once a week. When your with a person who has CONTROL, issues it changes who you are and you lose your identity. Make sure your there for your daughter when she is down and out. Remind her this isn't right and she deserves better. Tell her to weigh the pros's and cons out far as the relationships goes. If the bad out weigh the good you know its time to move on. Another way to make her see the entire picture is get her to notice how other relationships go on a day to day bases. Like the saying goes LOVE IS BLIND, and a person will almost put up with anything. Convince her to be serious about her health and well being as you only live your life once. I know what hurt your feeling, as I was there! Be strong and loving at all times and hopefully she will trust in what your telling her. Good Luck! COCOA
2007-05-25 13:45:03 · answer #2 · answered by cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jerk or nicest guy in the world, you have a bad situation. Isolation is the first step of control. That is how cults come about. I'm not saying she is in a cult but eventually and probably sooner than you think, she could start thinking dressing and believing like him. It's how kidnap victems can walk out in public and not try to get help. I don't think however you can just go tell her he's a jerk. She's with him because she likes him and everyone is looking to fall in love. I would suggest making plans with her as much as possible and just support her. If he doesn't like it, invite him too. Any contact is good contact. This could just blow over too.
2007-05-25 13:27:04 · answer #3 · answered by REM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start off simple. Aunt so-and-so was asking about you, she hasn't heard anything from you in a long time. How's your friend ______? You two used to hang out all the time, what happened? Remind her that no one else has seen her, what a good time she used to have with them, that sort of thing. In some ways, she has to come around herself. But you'll notice when she starts noticing that she hasn't seen anyone except him. Its then you move in and mention how it doesn't seem like the best relationship for her if he's isolating her from eveyone else she cares about.
2007-05-25 13:33:03 · answer #4 · answered by S_Gnat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The more you knock him the more she will defend him and run to him. I would make it a point to be very nice to him no matter how hard it is. I would invite them over all the time and look to take them out to dinner. The only way your daughter will wake up is when you are overly nice and he looks not to go she will then see it. As he will have no reason not to want to be around you & her family. Right now he is useing the excuse that no one like him and he is hurt.
2007-05-25 13:33:25 · answer #5 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are her parent. do you know her very well? is this normal for her to seek approval in this manner from her 'guy'?
If she is getting something from him that she needs that her friends or family dont provide, perhaps she is isolating herself out of fear of losing her 'guy', to please him.
If her family or friends havent been trustworthy in the past...
perhaps she is with him in repetition of the people she has known in her life. she has made a decision based on what she was familiar with. a person who allows their partner to isolate them has trust issues from people they loved in the past that let them down. take a look at yourself and ask yourself have you been there for her really? if you have...she wouldnt allow the isolation. she would probably be stronger than that.
2007-05-25 13:31:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. My friend's boyfriend was like that and she just hated me and my sister when we tried to point out how awful he was. Finally she stopped all communication with us. Two months later they broke up and she realized what a jerk he was. Just give her time and she'll realize what a jerk that guy is.
2007-05-25 13:26:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter chooses who she wants to date and it is up to her if she wants to break up with him. You can tell her how you feel but that doesn't mean she will break up with him. Its up to her to see her boyfriends true colors. All you can do is let her know that you love her and that you are there for her. You sound like a concerned father who loves his daughter.
2007-05-25 13:27:28 · answer #8 · answered by hollygolightly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know you cant make her see anything eventually she will see it for herself . good luck .
2007-05-25 14:08:27 · answer #9 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't...she chose him. If she won't see it, all you can do is watch for signs of abuse.
2007-05-25 13:49:01 · answer #10 · answered by tincre 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋