I aske a previous question pertaining to my mom over reacting about me having sex.....I did not include an age, i am 17....alot of you asked that in your anwseres....in case you did not get the question it was this:
I finally trusted her enought to tell her i had sex, she totally flipped out screaming crying yelling, and to top it off, she won't let me see or talk to my boyfriend. He loves me, and says he doesnt care he'll wait for me but hello! she was a teegaer too at one time, she made her own mistakes, me being one of them, What gave her the right to react this way. Now I don't trust her at all, and I can't talk to or see the person I do trust. What can i do to mak my mom see that she is really over-reacting?
2007-05-25 05:14:20 · 13 answers · asked by Angel Wilson 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
first of all, you was not a mistake and do not ever think that you are, you are here for a reason and for a purpose. she is a mother so she is going to over react, but that only makes you not trust her, or able to talk to her. all you can do and sit down with her, assure her that it is protected sex. BD
2007-05-25 05:19:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I've often wondered how I would react if my 17 year old were to tell me that. I would like to think that I would remain calm and talk to her about why she feels the need to have sex at such a young age, is she using protection...Basically, you've lost your virginity. What's done is done. You can't take it back. But what you have to realize is that you are her little girl. She doesn't want you to make the same mistakes she did. She just wants a better life for you. It's a disappointment to her and that's why she reacted the way she did. Try to get her to talk about the situation. You have to be calm. Don't yell, don't get into an argument. Let her know that you are mature enough to talk about this in a calm manner. Then dicuss what happened between you and your boyfriend. Talk about birth control. If you plan is to not have sex again, tell her that. If you do let her know that you are planning on being careful and taking precautions against STDs and pregnancy. She just wants whats best for you. I think all parents dream of their children being sucessful, going to college, getting married, having children. Your mother understands that sometimes when you start having sexual relationship at a young age sometimes your dreams get derailed by pregnancy, marriage at a young age. I'm sure she just wants the best for you. Keep trusting your Mom. I think her reaction shows how much she loves you and that she only wants what's best for you
2007-05-25 06:02:31 · answer #2 · answered by kgee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I skipped this the first time, so I'll try to help now.
Okay...here's a hard one for you. Stop thinking about what your Mom did or didn't do at your age. "in your face" is a bad argument.
Now, what you did is not the end of the world. But do try to see it from your Moms' perspective so you can understand her issue. Sex leads to bad things too. Sex leads to pregnancy, std's and could even be a gateway drug, for cryin' out loud!
That said, it's probably more to the point that your Mother thought she knew where you were at on this subject, and is dismayed to find out she was wrong. NOW she's worried-she wasn't before.
It's great that you felt you could "tell" your Mom this. Better, however, to lead her in gently. You are her BABY after all.
Just tell her you love her, you're sorry for catching her off-guard, and that you were so glad to be confidant in your ability to discuss anything and everything with her.
Then, you will probably cry together.---------------Just love each other, it will get better.
2007-05-25 05:35:58 · answer #3 · answered by KRIEGAR 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your mom made the same mistake you dont have to follow in her foot steps.
it is natural of her to react that way because she has been through that situations and she knows what complications would arise if any.
Belive me no parent would knowingly lead her son or daughter in the wrong path and always remember that your mother has your best interests at heart.
This age is where you have the harmonal surge and you fall in love and flirt or at least check out every boy in sight. but this is the age for you to study and build your career and get settled in life. there will be plenty of time latter for all this when you are of proper age and well settled.
lastly you say you dont trust her and what gave your mom the right to react this way. well as i see it she has the right to make decisions for you until you are mature enough to make your own. as for trust between your mom and boyfriend its a 17 year long relationship with your mom Vs a 1 or 2 year long relationship with your boyfriend. its upto you to choose between the two.
2007-05-25 05:34:05 · answer #4 · answered by ramon_zrt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a mother myself, but still young, I can see and relate to both sides. Your mom loves you sooo much. You two have created a bond. Mother-daughter. And she worries about you. I know that is hard to grasp since you are a teenager, but she is afraid. Maybe one of the reason she freaked out so much, is just what you said. She made mistakes. And she doesn't want you to do the same. And the reason you cant trust her, is cuz of how she took the news. But if she didnt love you, she wouldnt have said she didnt care do what you want.
She loves and wants what's best for you. I am sure you love your guy, but in a yr. you will have your own life with no rules but your own. Let your mother love you and worry. Soon you will be an adult.
Try telling her that you just wanted her to know. And you are sorry, it just happened, Tell her you love her, and respect her for caring. Dont try telling he not to, or you will lose the connection you have going.
It will be fine. But a mother CANT Never understand her 17 yr. old daughter having sex. Trust me. lol I am 22, and it is still hard for me to tell my mom about me and husband. lol You will get thru this with your mom.
2007-05-25 05:21:27 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me, your Mom only has your best interests at heart. You say "she made her own mistakes, me being one of them." So,it sounds like maybe SHE had sex too young and got pregnant which completely changed her life. I'm sure she doesn't consider you a mistake but she understands better than anyone how having a baby can change the choices you have. She doesn't want to see that happen to you honey. She just wants to see you live a full and happy life where you have CHOICES....how would you feel if you accidentally got pregnant? Are you mature enough to handle the emotions that decison would entail? And are you mature enough to handle it if your guy walks away? Until you are, maybe you should focus on YOU and buiding an awesome future for yourself and not sex. I know sex feels good but it's momentary.....and can affect the rest of your life. I know that's hard to imagine or think about when you're 17.....at age 17, you feel invincible, like all those accidental pregnancies happen to OTHER people but won't happen to you. Believe me, all those girls facing that decision all thought the same thing.
Don't be too hard on your mom. Sit down, speak in a kind voice, and talk to her. I'd say "Mom, I'm very sorry if what I did disappointed you. I understand that you getting pregnant at a young age is probably why you got upset. I would really just appreciate it if you could talk to me about in a calm way. When you yell or get upset, it makes me feel like I can't talk to you about things. I know I'm going to make mistakes in my life. I'm going to make bad choices but they're mine to make. You can't protect me from everything but I love you for trying to. I know you just have my best interests at heart."
I hope this helps sweetie. Don't push your Mom away, she's just trying to protect you.
2007-05-25 05:28:48 · answer #6 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your mom didn't handle the news in a more productive way....however she still has a point. Your mom definitely should have given herself time to calm down before she responded and calmly told you her position on teenage sex.
If your boyfriend is willing to wait for sex then do just that. There's absolutely no need for any teenager to be engaging in adult-like activities when they can't handle the adult-like consequences and responsibilities that come along with it.
Give your mom some time and discuss this subject again. Maybe you can both come to a mutual understanding.
2007-05-25 05:25:33 · answer #7 · answered by Lwood 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
parents prefer not to think of their kids doing things like that. your mother's reaction runs a real risk of leading you to get out from under the home life possibly before you're actually ready. untill your 18, do as your parents say. once your 18, you no longer have to, but still respect them. just don't go getting pregnant or married while your still too young.
2007-05-25 05:20:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See she is trying to keep u away from the mistakes she made she doesn't want u to go over a hard time she did.she realizes her mistake and now she doesn't want u to go to a really hard time she loves u.it isn't over reacting honey.look at me. i m 21 but i never liked a guy because i know my mum wouldn't like it.she's older and i m obeying my responsibility.so don't think she is over reacting it her love who want u not to suffer for one mistake u made.
2007-05-25 05:53:39 · answer #9 · answered by SweetKareena 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she did make her mistakes and now she's trying to keep you from making the same ones cause she loves you and that's what good parents do!
2007-05-25 05:18:27 · answer #10 · answered by Rueben E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋