two year old daughter running off? Help!?

Question

Anytime we 're outside my daughter has decided it's a fun game to run away from me. She laughs when I chase her but I have no choice. I CAN NOT STAND IT! I am so afraid she is going to run into the street. I can't hardly get her to hold hands with me. She does it when we are in front of our house, in grocery store parking lots, etc. It absolutely terrifies me. She is still a little too young to try and reason with her about the dangers of running into the street. What can I do?

Answer 1

The best thing to do is be patient. She'll understand in time that it is dangerous to run away from you into the street/or away from you at parks. If it bothers you a lot, try and have a distraction ready for when you anticipate her running. When you put her down in the park, get her attention and give her a snack she enjoys to get her running to you or run toward the slide and tell her to ride on it with you. Try and have fun with her so she can see that running and playing with you can be just as fun, if not more fun, than running away from you.

Answer 2

She's a normal two year old but she needs to be made to realize that running off is not funny. Insist that she hold your hand & if she doesn't, take her into the house. Avoid taking her into the "front yard" because she'll think it's okay to go out there & may get away from you in a flash. She's old enough to understand that she has to hold mommy's hand when she's in an unsafe area. A stern tone of voice while shaking your finger at her, & saying "no" may work. As for being in the public parking lots, do not allow her to walk on her own. Keep her in the shopping cart until you get to your car, then put her in her car seat while you unload the cart. She'll get the message. Good luck!!!!

Answer 3

Does she understand other "rules" around the house, like when it's time to nap or take a bath? Does she understand what she's not allowed to do, like throwing food/toys or playing near the stairs?

If so, I think she's fully capable of understanding if you explain the difference between where she can run (parks, fields, etc) and where she can't (streets, parking lots). If she does run in parking lots, you need to discipline her like you do at home and just bear the public tantrums.

My daughter doesn't always like holding hands when crossing streets/parking lots, even now when she's four. If she doesn't hold hands, we just don't move until she does, and if she still refuses, I just pick her up - usually she wants down and holds hands, but if not, I just have to endure the crying. If you can set boundries at home, you can set them outside as well.

Answer 4

She is not to young to reason with in some way. My now three year old did the same thing. I would tell her that she cannot go anywhere fun with mommy if she runs off. The next day I would make a point of telling her that mommy is very sad we cannot go to the playground today because you ran off yesterday (the day will be pure hell, but point made.- Throughout the day Remind her about why you are home all day.) I also would hold her hand very tightly and tell her that mommy wants to make sure you are safe.

Another suggestion is to teach her to play "red light, green light" Play the game every chance given and make it really fun. Then when you are in a situation where you REALLY need her to stop, you can yell RED LIGHT. follow it by GREEN LIGHT as soon as she is safe (This worked wonders on my first child. with my second, I had to take the firmer first approach).

Good luck.

Answer 5

My older sister had this problem, but she was a bit older. My mother bought a... I don't really know the correct term for it... but it was like a child 'leash'. It was a cute and strectchy, about 3 foot long. It attached at my sister and mother's wrists. I wish I knew the correct term for it; 'leash' sounds so animalistic! It was made for kids who won't stay by their parents' side. That was years ago, but I bet they still carry them in stores. If not, you could easily make your own out of cute stretchy fabric and Velcro (to attach around the wrists).
You can always try telling her "if you can't stay with mommy then you can't go outside/go to the store." I realize this is unrealistic at times, but perhaps she'll realize it's a lot more fun staying by your side than in the house.
I don't think it's a horrible idea to try to reason a bit with her. Just simplify the terms. "Mommy gets scared when you don't stay with me. You can get hurt if you run away from me, and then Mommy will cry." I understand you can't tell her "I don't want you getting ran over by a car, because she doesn't understand the pain of the impact of something like a car hitting her.
Her laughing at you seems pretty normal. She must be punished a bit, otherwise, it's only rewarding to her for you to chase after her. Time-outs are good if you are outside. If you are on your way into the store, turn around and go back home. Tell her she can't go to the store if she can't stay with you. I know plenty of 2 y/o and they can all understand this if you put it in simple terms.
I don't know if you are against spanking. I know plenty of moms who are, but most won't hesitate to spank if their child runs into the road.
Hope this helps a bit.

Answer 6

They are all like that. And yes it can be terrifying for you and dangerous for them. Make sure you take her to the park every day and let her run to her hearts content. (probably before you go shopping.) When my children were young there was such a thing as baby harnesses or wrist bands with leads. They are very effective when out and about, because the children do not feel as controlled as they would with hands on. I think they still sell them; they fell out of vogue because people who did not have toddlers running into traffic thought they were "demeaning" to the child. (People who do not have children are always the most knowledgeable about how you should raise yours.) Try them out. they do work. And don't forget to give her lots, and lots of free running time in the park.

Answer 7

The next time she does it pop her on the hand and tell her that its not funny. By you chasing her its turned into a game and she doesn't understand that she can get really hurt from what she's doing. Explain to her that if she runs off she can get squished (as I told my now 3 year old) by a car or someone can take her and she won't get to see you or her toys again.
If that doesn't work then get one of those backpacks that have an attachment on them so she can't get away. They have them at Target and Wal-Mart. Its a little dog, bear or monkey that has a "leash" for lack of a better word, that you hold onto so she can't more than like 3 feet away from you.

Answer 8

My two year old does the same thing. It is just a thing kids do at this age. Anytime she won't hold hands with me she gets put in time out. Usually that consists of putting her in the shopping cart or carrying her. It isn't fun and she cries, but she is learning. It is a slow process. They like to test the boundries to see what is and is not allowed. You must be consistent. Sometimes if she is bad at the store we will just leave completely. If it is at home and she is outside and goes in the street timeout consists of going inside and sitting on a chair. Now this is my third so she will do timeout. The oldest wouldn't, so I got a booster type high chair that was different from the regular booster seat and straped her in it for time out. She knew that that chair in that spot was timeout. She didn't like it, but it does work. Good Luck.

Answer 9

My little sister did the same thing. And OMG I hated it when she did that. And she would do it everywhere. Later at the doctors we found out that she had no impulse control. Does she do other weird things on whim that you have never made any fuss about? Well anyways long story short it turned out that she had developmental delays, and to boot was ADHD. Now days they are suspecting a hint of autism. This is not to scare you, just passing along my experience with it. Any ways we got her one of those leash things that wrap around her chest, that you hang on to. Never again did she run well,er.......................... she did run out the front door of the house down the street naked a few times. Yeah she thought it was hyserically funny, LOL. If you have any more questions drop me a line if this strikes you familliar.

Answer 10

She is not too young to understand consequences. I had two little ones of my own and I babysat another three. One day we were out for a walk and came across a dead rabbit that had been hit by a car. I showed it up close to all of the children and even the two year old were very interested. I explained about what happened and that this bunny would never run again. The little girl never ran from me again. You could also try time outs when she does this. If she stays by your side like she is instructed, she gets a reward, such as watching her favorite movie, listening to a book, etc. If she does not stay by your side, she must sit in a corner for two minutes with the timer going. A harness will not teach her to obey you. It will only teach her she is restrained like a dog. (Besides, you will look hideous with a child on a leash.)