Ok to make to long story short my bf has moved in with me last week and his parents have been helping him with his bills due to he lost his job a month ago. Well last Tuesday 05/22/07 his parents got him a job working with the city. Well this weekend is a holiday and we planned on going down to the river with some friends. His mother stated that if he goes she will not help him anymore w/his bills and that he should have more respect for her bc of her help. I really want to go and if we go his parents are going to be pissed off @ us.I know he dont have the money to go but I do and if I pay for everything whats the big freakin deal? Please help or if anyone has any ideas that would help me out.. !!
2007-05-25 03:44:28 · 8 answers · asked by nicolewallass 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
An unfortunate fact of life is that when we take money from someone they feel like they have a say-so in our life. So unless your are willing to take on his bills, better pay his mom a visit. Is it possible to spend a little time with her, then go later to the river? I know there could be logistical problems with this idea.
I'm also wondering what his stand on the issue is. It might be worth thinking about that eventually this woman might be your mother-in-law. Unless you want war for the rest of your life, learn to make peace with her soon. It's not going to get easier than right now.
2007-05-25 03:53:22 · answer #1 · answered by jaicee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the river!!!
This guy's mom is manipulative, over baring, and controlling. My guess is this is the way she has been your BF's entire life. This is demonstrated in her paying his bills, her getting him a job, and her saying "if you don't do what I say then i won't help you anymore".
Your BF should have found his own job and should have never accepted his mothers aid with his bills. Because he did though this gives his mother leverage over him, which is where she gets her control.
You should tell his mother, "Thank you for all the help you have given, but we no longer need any assistance from you." When things get tough your BF needs to find his own way out of them and not rely on mom to bail him out. Since he has a job now he should be able to pay his own bills, you're right.
If you are willing to pay for both of you to go on this trip then you should do it. If you go you'll be sending a pretty big message to mommy that her boy is listening to you and not her. Be ready for the war she's going to wage upon you. Stand your ground and make sure your BF does too. Good luck!
2007-05-25 04:29:24 · answer #2 · answered by An Aries Male 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The big freakin deal is that you're setting yourself up as caretaker for an able bodied man who is not supporting himself. You don't really specify why the parents don't want him to go but that's irrelevant. If he doesn't have the money to do something he shouldn't be doing it. You should not start paying his way now, especially since he just moved in. What happens when he loses the city job for whatever reason? He won't have any motivation to find another job because he has his woman taking care of him. Don't set yourself up. Find something else to do for the weekend. Especially since if you do go, your expenses will be going up because you'll be paying his bills as well as yours. Think about it.
2007-05-25 04:05:15 · answer #3 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he has to work then dont go because he might lose the job that way. His parents shouldnt be so critical if they are not having to pay for things. But you know your mother is always right, so dont forget that.
2007-05-25 04:32:45 · answer #4 · answered by I am woman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that he has a job his mother shouldn't have to help him with his bills anymore. Go have a good time!
2007-05-25 03:51:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it that his parents don't want him to go? Is he supposed to work?
If he is, he'd better skip the river and go to work. Good paying jobs with benefits are not easy to find. Stick to the work for now, and you'll be able to do as you please a lot sooner. Blow off the job, and you'll be stuck longer.
2007-05-25 04:48:16 · answer #6 · answered by KRIEGAR 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time for him to make his choice.. you can always go to the river again when it is not on your penny... never bite the hand that feeds you
2007-05-25 03:52:29 · answer #7 · answered by Jen S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
with him just starting work it shows he doesn;t care about the job if he is scheduled to work. that's irresposible
2007-05-25 13:49:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋