i have a daughter whos 3 and the person im with him is not her real father. what happend was when i met her father i told him i was pregnant he said that baby aint mines. so i got mad. after his baby was born he asked me for real and i said no. i had meet the men i with right now and he accept the baby like his
i feel like i did wrong cuz the father did asked me if that was his daughter and my husband loves her like it was his. to me his ther father i dont know what to do i should i keep it as a secret from my daughter or should i tell her real dad. i dont want to hurt the person im with. what i do? please help?
2007-05-25 03:43:55 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
if i tell the real father ill hurt my husbands
feeling i was thinking about leting her grow up and deside
2007-05-25 04:17:16 · update #1
You may be opening up a can of worms by telling the real father that she is his daughter but are you prepared to live the rest of your life with this lie? If you're feeling guilty now, how will you feel in 5 years or 10 years? It will only eat away at you and eventually will interfere in your relationships with your husband and your daughter.
Tell the truth and let things fall where they may. Start with your husband. If he truly loves you he will be supportive when you tell the baby's father. He has a right to know that he has a child and your daughter has a right to know who her real father is. Once the truth is out you'll be better able to handle reality instead of worrying about the what-ifs.
2007-05-25 03:59:01 · answer #1 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No more secrets! Everyone involved deserves the truth from you, especially your daughter. Treat this as if it were a chance for your daughter to have another person in her life who will love her as much as you and your husband do. No one can be sure just what the fallout of this will be, but, sometime in the future, someone will find out the truth, and then both you and she will bear the cost of your current mistake.
Start out with telling your husband, her "real father", and then her biological father. At three years old, your daughter is pretty young to be expected to understand all this, but you and she can refer to the two men as "Daddy" and "my father" - or whatever you decide works. After all, a girl can't have too many loving fathers, can she?!
Best of luck to you all!
2007-05-25 04:35:08 · answer #2 · answered by MomBear 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is your daughter's father. Maybe not by blood, but by growing up and by nurturing her. I would wait and see if your daughter begins to question then tell her the truth. If not just let sleeping dogs lay. If the real father is not in the picture, don't bring him up.
2007-05-25 04:22:58 · answer #3 · answered by fjerseyman 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him. It's only fair to both of them.
Discuss it with your husband, talk to the father, and if the situation allows, discuss it together with your daughter. You never know, but the information could save her life one day.
I raised someone elses' children, and I am always going to be their Dad, even if someone else did "father" them.
2007-05-25 04:36:28 · answer #4 · answered by KRIEGAR 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your postponing the inevitable. Your better off coming clean now because the longer you wait the worst it will be. Just remember this saying " if you don't lie you have nothing to remember". Good luck
2007-05-26 08:05:51 · answer #5 · answered by Tutto Bene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell the truth! It is not fair that you are lying to him... would it really hurt to let him know the truth?
2007-05-25 03:53:56 · answer #6 · answered by Jen S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋