I babysit in my home and one child cries the whole time the mom is gone please help.?

Question

I watch a little girl 16 months old and she pretty much cries from the time her mom leaves until she gets back to get her, I'm at my wits end here and don't know what to do. If she were my child I could handle it. She not only cries she thoughs fits and I'm afraid the neighbors are going to think I'm being mean to this child. Any suggestions would be great. I've tried holding her, playing with her letting her watch tv nothing seems to work. She is not the only child I watch and she is disrupting the other little ones. Please help before I pull my hair out.

We do go outside, that works for a little bit then she starts crying all over again. I suggested the photo album and she could care less about this. She is sleeping like she should and I feed her like I do everyone else. I have told her mom and she says she just does that to get you to call to have someone pick her up. I've never called and had anyone pick her up and at that age I do not think that is possable. She already has her jaw teeth and is not teathing that we are aware of. I have been watching her almost a month now. Her mom work mostly nights from 3 p.m. to midnight. She does go to bed for me ok thankfully and at around 8/9 p.m. Her daddy gets off work at 5 but he will not even keep her. She has been with her grandma most of her life.

Answer 1

This is seperation anxiety to the extreme. If nothing works you may have to tell her mother that you can't watch her anymore because it is unfair to the other kids if you have to give all your attention to this one and it doesn't help. I would say that this child has some issues with seperation. It is NOT normal for a child to cry the enitre time her mother is gone. Unless it is only a very short time (20-30 mins) but clearly it is not.

Maybe you should try to make a ritual with her. Something you do every single day when her mom drops her off. Something to distract her. I know the lady that watches my baby does this with a child. A school bus passes her house at the same time everyday and she takes the kids to the bay window (or porch) and they wave at the bus. The busdriver even honks at them. The kids are so excited by this. They know when the bus is coming 8:16 am on the dot!

Answer 2

How long have you been watching her? She might be teething. My daughter only cries at daycare if she's teething. And they are about the same age. The molars seem to hurt my daughter a lot worse than the other teeth did and they came out four at a time. She wanted nothing to do with strangers and other babies for about 2 weeks until she felt better, then all of a sudden they were out and she was fine...
You might also look into if she has had gas problems in the past, gas makes babies & adults miserable! Like others have said, playing outside does wonders for a child's mood! Does she have favorite videos? Sometimes putting on a Disney Sing a Long video will calm my daughter pretty easy, she'll be crying and dancing at the same time! How bad does the mom need her job? If you absolutely have had it with the child and simply don't want to watch her anymore tell the mom, but I do disagree with a lot of the comments about the child being spoiled. Children that age need routine, and this child is having problems adjusting, which is normal, stressful as it may be. I hope it all works out for the sake of all three of you! Good luck!

Answer 3

Can you take her outside. That usually calms the ones I babysit when nothing else will. Or talk to the mom. Ask her for a few photos to put in an album for the child to look at. One girl that I babysit loves to look at my photo albums. She spends an hour or so a day looking through them, and she's about 20 months old.

Good luck. I know it's tough, especially if this is the first time that the child has been seperated from the parents.

Answer 4

Sound like her mother has her spoiled I would talk with her mother and ask her what she does at home when she's fussy maybe she can give u some suggestions. Alot of times the child was held pretty much 24/7 and they have gotten use to it and having just that person mom, dad, or grandma holding them. I feel for ya b/c I have babysat alot myself and I have a 3 yr old.

Answer 5

You could try sitting in the floor and playing with her,or singing to her,you could rock her if you have a rocker.Try doing little dances and acting a little goofy and maybe you can get her attention long enough for her to get use to something.Then maybe next time it'll be a little less stressing.And if those don't help you could do like one of the other people have said and tell her mom you can't handle it anymore. And also mention to her that it wouldn't be so bad if the dad would come get the baby when he gets off.There has to be something they could do to make your situation a lot better.Anyway good luck.

Answer 6

Some children just have attachment styles that are different-as far as being insecure when a parent leaves but easily comforted, insecure avoidant--doesn't care if parent leaves, insecure and not easily comfortated, and there's another but I can't remember it. We talked about it in psychology class. The child needs to be ressured, and also distracted. Perhaps the parent can tell you which toys are her favorite. Try just being patient and the child may warm up to you. I babysit for an infant who loves strangers to hold him and play with him but only when his parents are around. He would not let his dad leave him with me one time. But we started playing outside and exploring the yard and he quieted, but he still pitched a fit if he got too far out of sight of his dad. This may just take some getting used to for the child. Best of luck

Answer 7

talk to her mom tell her whats going. my son us to cry every single time i left him in day care but he would get over it after 10 minutes or so.there's has to be something that's happening that she doesn't wanna be there.i don't mean sound to be rude, but have you yelled or did anything to make her feel uncomfortable?
the reason i ask is because i had a Friend who took take of this boy and he did the same and she would tell him to stop in a firm way and the little boy didn't like it and never wanted to stay with her, he wouldn't eat or anything so she stooped taking care of him.

Answer 8

it sounds like separation anxiety- She should get over it with time, but if she is disrupting the other kids you might want to let her go. One child is not worth all of that stress! Especially since she's not your's. Good Luck!

Answer 9

My first child did this to his babysitter. It was very disruptive and bothered the other kids and stressed her out. Further as her husband worked nights and needed to sleep in the daytime -this was driving them nuts but they didn't want to lose the income. I found out afterwards from another parent that they were locking my son in a dark room and segregating him from everyone. Being a picky eater I even elected to bring his food. I had him accessed and he turned out to be autistic and adhd. Their treatment of him made him terrified and cry more. Taking him outside and ensuring him he was safe worked in calming him down but the babysitter didn't like going for walks. Most children-whether autistic, adhd or not- thrive from routine as it brings a sense of security and sability. Kids do better socially and academically when they know what to expect. Realizing this was a stressful situation I removed my son from her care and placed him in a commercial child care center with qualified ece teachers where he thrived. Today he is 17 and in normal school and remembers clearly that he hated going to that babysitter. He felt unwanted and the husband used to yell at him to shut up and that scared him. I don't think that is the case with you-you are obviously concerned and caring otherwise you wouldn't be asking for advice. My advice to you is to ask the parents to find another caregiver. Give them two weeks notice. In the meantime you can advertise for some other child to fill the spot. The reason I say this is because I feel it's unfair to the other kids you are babysitting and btw yeah-it's only a matter of time before rumours start spreading that you're illtreating this kid-don't risk ruining your reputation. When my son used to carry on with his crying the lady's neighbours and other parents kept accusing her of illtreating him. One parent took his son out of her care because of it. I know it was not because of my son because that person is a family friend who used to and continued to bring and leave his son to play with mine on Saturdays. In fact it was him who referred me to the Licenced Commercial Daycare so our kids could be together again. Funny thing though-my son never cried there-I guess he was too busy with the walks, playground and lots of things to do :-)

Answer 10

How long have you been watching this child? Is she new? Is this her first time in daycare?

You should talk to the parents. You may have to request that they take her somewhere else. While you want to be able to comfort her, you also have to consider the other children in your care. It's not fair to them if you have to spend all of your time trying to console one child.