Age difference- does it matter in a relationship.?

Question

If I were even to consider a relationship with a guy who's 16 years older than me, does it really matter? If you two are emotionally and spiritually compatible, should you really take grievances from what your family says? Because I know my family would have a cow if I (19) were to date a 35 yo guy.

Answer 1

I think age doesn't really matter as long as it is appropriate. For instance, it would NOT be appropriate for a 15 year old to date a 25 year old. Nor would it be appropriate for an 18 year old to date a 45 year old. What I mean about appropriate is a grown adult man or woman has NO business dating a teenager. Now, I see nothing wrong with a mature 20 year old dating a 35 year old. They may experience a major difference in priorities though, because they are at different stages in their lives. A few years does not make a difference though. My husband is 6 years younger than me . I do think that if a 20 year old woman dates (or marries) a 45 year old man, be prepared to have issues with things like children. If the woman wants children and he has already had his and raised them, he may not want anymore. This is something that can complicate the relationship. I think that if the two people really talk through some of these issues, they can overcome any obstacle. Anyhow, if you are considering dating an older guy, make sure you really consider as many issues that may come up as you can. Really talk them through before you make a serious commitment. Good luck!

Answer 2

When he was 16, you were born! You are at two totally different levels of maturity...or should be...perhaps he is lacking in development and can only relate to younger girls.
Has he been married before? If not, why not? If he has what happened to the marriage?. When two people first get together and 'fall in love' they look at the world with rose coloured specs.....they cannot see any wrong in each other...they are emotionally and spiritually compatible, just as you suggest above. When the fever of being in love wears off and it comes down to love being a 'doing' thing rather than just a feeling...how will it be then? Can he or will he work to keep a marriage/partnership together. Too late when you get there and find it aint gonna work.
All I could suggest is take great care in age difference relationships as although it may be great at the start...things may change.
Be sure BEFORE committing to the relationship......no marriage or living together for at least a couple of years and maybe you will have your answer by then.
Best wishes, Mike.

Answer 3

Okay, let me let you in a few secrets.

It matters, the sex is not there unless you are lucky and bagged yourself a sexually driven man. My boyfriend is 12 years older then I and I am 30 years old. Boy let me tell you I have never become such good friends with b.o.b. In a sense there libido drops right around 35, not saying it completely dimishes, but the stamina is not of a 19 year old guy.

Also, they try to play father in a sense believe me...they think because they are a little older they are more knowledgeable and have more experiance then you. To some degree they do but they are constantly on a head trip.

They are more concious of your every move, your 19 why wouldn't he keep his eye on the trophy.

I really really hate saying this hun, DON'T DO IT!

Date someone your age and have your opportunity to experiance life. Remember he has done his running around and will be more settled then you so your days of clubbing will not be like as if you were dating somone your own age!

Answer 4

It depends. Sometimes at first the age difference doesnt feel like its that important when its all romantic and passionate but when the relationship reaches a higher level most people begin to notice the strains of the gap - interests, experiences etc dont match up and those cracks begin to show more. Sure there are the odd times where it works but you both have to be extremely mature and know straight off what you are looking for as these things vary a lot between 19 and 35.

Answer 5

its strange. im 19 and my bf is 23 but i work with someone who is 20 and his gf is 16 and still in skool. fair enough there is a 4 year age gap in both relationships here but because im older it seems more acceptable than a school girl dating a 20 year old man so age gaps arent a problem depending on how old you acctually are. i mean you being 19 a 16 year age gap isnt so bad but if you were 15 then a 16 year age gap would be seen as wrong. but say you were 30 hen 16 years isnt so bad is it at all because you cant physically see the age gap as you both look round the same age. see what im saying. but hey at the end of the day its your choice. do what makes you happy :)

Answer 6

Why is it that when people hear a big age difference they always think about sex??? is that what life is all about??? people are so shallow these days. while that may be an element.. what ever happened to love?? i think that may be becoming a word of the past.

My fiancee and I are 18 years apart. I have absolutely no probablem with it and neither does he, but everyone else seems too. I say this, once God doesnt mind and the two of you dont mind.. WHO CARES ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE... forget about choosing between you and your family, if they really loved you they would accept you. The man that I am with is my soulmate for life and I am madly in love with him! He is the only one for me and he matches me in so many ways.. he is the one that i have been praying for and people can not tell me what is good for me. I will listen to your advice, but i have to be the one to spend the rest of my life with this person and we all deserve to be happy. Just make sure that he is the one, and I definitely see no problem with it.

People are cruel and nosy and they say they only want whats best for you.. you have to have someone younger to have the best???? WHAT???!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS!!! just do the right thing, you know what it is and no one can really tell yout he answer. Ask your heart this question. All the best you.

Answer 7

This is YEARS old.. but I think I should put my option in.

No. It doesn't matter. You'd be surprised that 'love' as people would say, can't be stopped. You may be able to push away that person, but the attraction or affectionate feelings cannot be brought down unless of a situation that causes you to lose the feelings. You can just think ' I don't have feelings for them' and it goes away... it's Human Nature..

Today's society is cruel, and think they know what's best for you.

My Grilfriend is 4 years younger than me. My friends think they know what's best for me, but I ignore them.

As people say; Age is just a Number...

Which is true... it's a Number.. not a brick wall preventing certain people of certain ages to love each other.

Answer 8

I think as you get older and more mature age differences matter less and less. But at 19, and this man at 35, odds are the two of you are in very different places in your lives, despite spiritual/emotional compatibility. Just be careful.

Answer 9

When you are still "younger" you don't normally have that much in common with a 35 year old to sustain a relationship. My bf is 15 years older than me, but I am 35 and he is 50. At our ages we have much in common and enjoy the same music and activities. I would keep looking for a man a bit closer to your own generation.

Answer 10

age between 19 and 35 does make a differnce. A year between 19 and 20 does! You may just want to go witht the flow and see where the road takes you because him being a man he wouldnt havetto worry about a biological clock but still he may wnat to settle down sooner than you do.