My 13 yo boy is getting involved w/ a 23 yo woman, what should I do?

Question

I got to know this yesterday. I talked to one of his friends, a boy I trust, and he he said my boys sees her like a second mom, but he saw her touching him not exactly like a mom. His friend said she is beautiful and he thinks, likes teen boys, especially those that, like mine, are sensitive and somewhat innocent for his age. I talked to my boy, he told me he got to know her at a a swimming pool. He assured me he sees her like a second mom, but fessed she asked him to help her w/ her bra that got unclipped. My boy ended up crying and resentful, said he likes her because she gives him love and at home he feels left out, says I give much more attention to my 15 yo girl than to him and he thinks he's a good boy - actually he's a great boy - and deserves love although he's a boy. He admitted once she touched him somewhat like a woman touches a man but he's sure she likes him like a little bro. I'm lost, don't kow what to do, if she was a guy and he was a girl, this would be illegal.

He asked me Did you know I'm in the honor roll at school? I didn't, he didn't tell me. Then he saids he didn'rt tell me because he thought it wouldn't be important to me

Answer 1

I would tell the 23 year old to leave him the hell alone or you will call the police...ask her how she would feel about being on the sex offender list forever...do something now!! Don't wait!!

Answer 2

Even as a woman doing this to al ittle boy it is illegal. Kick her a**. Call the police, do something. Your son is crying out for attention from you. The two of you, and only the two of you need to do something special together. Every child needs alone time with their parents even if they won't admit it. This situation is not your fault and it is not his either. Do not be mad at him and let him know that you appreciate his honesty. Recognize how hard it must have been for him to tell you and then confront you about how he feels left out. You can handle this. Put A Stop To That Woman! She is on the road to molesting your baby. She has already crossed the line, now you push her back over it mom! The police and Social Services will back you up. If she is around other kids let their parents know how she is and Please notify someone else! DSS or local police--she won't stop if she doesn't get caught. She is apparently sick and twisted, GOOD LUCK!

I was raped at 14 by a man who's family I babysat for. I never did anything about it and I feel so guilty. He has a stepdaughter now that I am afraid for. Don't look back and regret your decisions. My mom found out about this and she did nothing. She did not want to "air the dirty laundry". Her pride caused me a lot of pain and resentment towards all people. I have recovered since then but it has been 10 years and I still am bothered from time to time. Your situation makes me want to cry. This little boy does not know how wrong she is. He thinks she is pretty and attentive. This is hard to resist when you don't feel as important as you should to the people in your life. Step up mom and show him how important he is. You can do this, it is about him and making sure he recognizes that he is loved and cherished by you. He needs to feel like he does not need some crazy woman touching him and talking to him in a manner that is completley innapropriate. Hope it goes well, i almost want an update but I know if you care enough to put this out here then you care enough to do something about it.

Answer 3

Regardless of if this were a 23 year old man and a 13 year old girl or a 23 year old woman and a 13 year old boy...IT'S ILLEGAL!!! Statutory rape applies to both men AND women and is simply performing sexual acts with an individual under the legal to give consent which 13 falls under in ANY state.

You need to speak with local law enforcement to determine the proper course of action you need to take in regards to this woman's behavior towards your son. In regards to your son, you need to be a good parent and give your son JUST as much attention as your daughter!!! You son deserves love PERIOD...not "although he is a boy". Your lack of parenting has lead to your son looking to another to be his "second mom". If he had been receiving the love he needs from you he would have never been in this situation in the first place. Your actions are what has pushed him into the arms of a sexual predator.

Start showing your son the affection he needs. As you have stated, "he's a great boy" let him know that and don't every let him forget it. He didn't ask to be born. He owes you nothing, you owe him. You owe it to him to be a loving and caring parent and not when you feel like giving it to him but when he needs it.

Answer 4

Your son told you what you need to do. He needs more of your attention. Praise him and show an interest in what he's doing. At the risk of sounding judgmental, as his parent, you should be involved in his life and you should have known he was in the honors program. He shouldn't have had to tell you.

Everyone deserves love regardless of gender. You're lucky to have discovered your son's need now before he got into other activities such as drugs. Often as parents we get too involved in trying to survive life and the kids tend to fall by the wayside. We don't notice them until they get into trouble. This is a wake up call for you. Be more involved with your son.

As for the 23 year old woman, even though she's a girl and he's a guy, it's still illegal. She needs to be stopped - especially since she apparently has a track record of targeting sensitive young boys. You can contact her directly and tell her that she's to have no contact whatsoever with your son or you can call the police and ask them to deliver the message. Either way, it's totally inappropriate for her to be using your son the way she is. And if she's doing this with other young boys she's a sexual predator and the police need to be informed.

Answer 5

It's obvious you have to change your relationship with your son, right? This particular quote from you confuses me "deserves love although he's a boy".

This 23 year old has to stay away from your boy or you need to call the police. Just because she's a woman doesn't mean she isn't a possible pedophile or child predator. Get that out of your head. It's still illegal. She is harming your boy.

Answer 6

There are a lot of things going on here - that require counsel ling.

First of all CHILDREN - boys and girls - need love - not "even though he's a boy" So it does indicate to me that you prefer your daughter to your son - this requires counseling.

Considering that you weren't even interested enough in him to ask about his grades - no wonder he's looking elsewhere for the kind of parental affection YOU should be giving him - this requires counseling.

No it is not healthy for this woman to have such a close relationship with your son - she shouldn't be asking him to zip her dress, hook her bra - and she should CERTAINLY NOT be touching him in an inappropriate manner. This is criminal - call the police - and go to counseling.

Wake up sister - you have two children - a son and a daughter. Both of whom need you - not just your daughter. This poor boy is crying out for something you've been denying him - a mother - and this requires counseling.

Answer 7

You need to report this to the police. It's illegal. It doesn't matter that she is a girl. She's 23, touching a 13 year old, she needs to be behind bars.

After you report her and make sure that the police deal with this, you need to start paying more attention to your son. He just told you he feels left out, so do everything you can to make sure he doesn't. You need to take just as much interest in the stuff that he likes and does as you do with his older sister.

Answer 8

“if she was a guy and he was a girl, this would be illegal”
Where do you live that you think the law is not gender neutral? If you live in the U.S. it’s illegal rather the adult is male or female.

I hope this is not for real because if it is *what the h*ll are you thinking* even questioning what you should do. File a police report and then get a restraining order against her, otherwise you’re practically just handing your child over to her to be abused. After you get her out the picture, then deal with the other issues between you and your son.

Answer 9

I would not let him see this woman, and I would try to get more involved in his life; you are his mother after all.

I mean this in a gentle way, but a 15 year old boy shouldn't have to tell his mother he made the honor roll in school. When I was raising my children, I was involved in their school and knew when their report cards were coming out before they did.

It might be the case that you have more in common with your daughter than your son, but you owe it to them both to make them feel equally loved and take an equal interest in both of their lives. Good luck.

Answer 10

You need to watch you back, lady. And keep your son as far away from that pervert as you can.

Further, when you say if it were your daughter, and this scummer were a man; I have news for you, it's illegal any which way. Gender doesn't change it.

With that critter prowling the pool, it's time to go swimming at the lake!

Call the cops and have her warned off, before it goes farther than you might know. Believe me, I've been there with my son.

Answer 11

Reassure him that you care and he can come to you any time Stay innvovled inhis life and include him in family activities Work on that with him and let tell him you sorry that you did not know he felt left out and you and he can work on it Meanwhile the 23 yr old who is inapropriately propositoning your son in a child predator and needs to be reported If she did this to your son she most likely has done it before She needs to know the boundries between an adult and child