two year old daughter died on tuesday how do i tell her brother?

Question

He knows there is something not quite right and he is only 18 months old. i have split up from the father and have told my son that she has gone to stay with her father for a few days.

Answer 1

First let me start off by giving you my condolensces. I'm so so sorry for your loss and can't imagine what you are going through.

Your son is not old enough yet to understand what's going on right now, so wait till he's a little older and sit down with him and let him know what happened.

Once again, I'm sorry for your loss and try to take it easy.

Answer 2

My deepest condolences. I am so sorry for ur loss.
U've gotten alot of wonderful advice here, let me just add that even tho every child is different, from my experience an 18 month old can be affected. It is sometimes difficult to notice. When my now 13 yr old nephew was 16 months old, his grandmother (my mom) passed away. He was very close to her. My sis asked advice from the baby's pediatrician. The Dr adviced telling my nephew the truth as well as he could understand. Example: She has gone away and wont come bk. She still loves u n misses u. The dr also said he believed it was best to let him see some lite grieving n to attend the funeral, for closure. My nephew went bk to the pacifier after his grandma's death, became a lil clingy and asked for his Barney tapes over n over again. (Before the death he use to want to watch just one or 2, 30 minute tapes a day.) The dr said it was his way of comforting himself...he was grieving. I'm sure u will be doing so, but just keep an eye on subtle changes n help him as much as possible. This is definitley harder on u. God bless u n ur lil boy.

Answer 3

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you are going through.

Your son may sense something is wrong, but he's still little to really understand what has happened. I would sit down with him once and say that his sister has gone to heaven with God. (Even if you aren't religious, this idea can be helpful for little ones.) Then I wouldn't talk to him too much about. I would still keep a few pictures around, and if he asks about his sister then repeat that she is gone to heaven.

As he gets older, he will start to pick up on the situation from just hearing you talk about her to other people. Just be prepared to answer his questions more thoroughly if necessary. Sadly, though, he probably won't remember much about her after a few months. She will probably be more of a photograph than a true memory.

Answer 4

First I want to convey my condolences.
what a tragedy. I can't even begin to think how I would handle it with my children. I'm whichever way you chose to tell you son, that he will handle it ok. Being so young it will be hard to understand, but he'll do ok. Take care of yourself and I'll be thinking of you.

Secondly, I want to respond to all the people who "think" they're smart and say it's not possible to have a 2 yr old and an 18 month old. For crying out loud people. Saying she is two doesn't mean she's exactly two years old. I'll bet she was 2 1/2 or close to it. My children are 14 months apart so my youngest was 18 months when my oldest was 2. Get a grip people. This person lost a child, stop being so cynical.

I'm whichever way you chose to tell you son, that he handle it ok. Being so young it Will be hard to understand, but he'll do ok. Take care of yourself and I'll be thinking of you.

Answer 5

Sorry to hear about your loss. With him being only 18 months old, he is unaware of death and the concept. It would help I believe to have pictures of her around near his picture so as he grows up and then asks, then you can tell him "the truth". Don't put her pictures away now or ever. All of you will need to grieve and remember the good times. She was innocent and special and she is in a truly remarkable place now. You do not want to lie to him as he will keep these little things in his head and then come to you asking as a young adolescent why you lied to him. Lies become more lies and then you lose track. You must have had your children very very close together. 2 year old and 18 month old that is something else.

Answer 6

When did you and Michael Vaughan (you 'claim' that he is your 'husband' and you have mentioned his name and the fact that he is your husband as your source while answering many of the questions on Yahoo! Answers) split up?? And Brett Lee is your brother?? How fake can you get?? How dare you say that Tallula Vaughan is no more??

Michael Vaughan would never allow any of his family to publicise their private lives in such a careless manner.

Let me assure you that Michael Vaughan's family (himself, his actual wife Nichola Vaughan [nee Shannon] and not this s***, daughter Tallula Grace, very much alive - infact she is gonna turn 3 years old on June 4 and son Archie Matthew, not yet 18 months old) is in perfectly healthy condition (touch wood) and may it remain that way....

This is cheap publicity and nothing else.

The Eng captain has had so much on his plate (with the injury jinx), I was sooo happy when he scored his century against the West Indies at Leeds, and now you think that you can carry off writing this nonsense??

Shame on you!!

Answer 7

I have been here (still am), but my kids were older, in their teens. You must tell him, no matter what. You and your family, including your son, will have to live with this knowledge forever. It cannot be avoided. At 18 months, you will have to tell him in a way he can understand....I know, none of us can understand. I mean, age appropriate language.
It might help you to know that your daughter is with Jesus. It will help your son too. If you or your son do not know Jesus, or what heaven is, seek out a church, learn. Trust me, it will help you and ultimately help your son.
As time goes on, your son will figure out what "living with Jesus" means. I suggest you do not stop talking about his sister as time goes on. Keep her memory alive in your home and in your heart. That's been a help to us. Also, do not expect your son - even when he's older - to have the same feelings about this as you do. She was your child and his sister. You will not react, nor live your lives, the same way.
Loss is hard. And you will not get over it. Ever. You will learn to live again though. God bless you.

Answer 8

now you need to tell him the truth. tell the child that his brother has gone now to live with his father in heaven . tell him this means he wont be coming back but that one day if he is a good Christan he will see his brother again . relatives that have died that he might remember even a little can be mentioned. tell him about your his grandmothers mother and father how they are in heaven and how they will also be there to look after him .
the concept of forever wont sink in well so don't worry when the child asks from time to time when his brother will be home.
the child should go to the funeral .
the child should be involved not shielded from death as this will make him better understand that while this is very very sad going to heaven to the father who is every-ones father will be good in heaven there are many wonderful things and children all go .
explain that each of us must wait for God to call us to come and none of us may decide when we will go or not go and that we must never kill another person . as the time of death is up to GOD . The doctors here on earth are allowed to do all they can to keep us here but in the end when GOD says come we come .
i will pray for you your child and your husband.
i hope and pray you get back with your husband even if just to be a comfort to one another during this time.

Answer 9

First, I want to share my deepest sympathy and I am sorry for your loss. I think it is good that you are waiting a few days to tell her brother. I think you should tell him soon, take time when you can spend the day with him. Sit him down and let him know his sister had to go to heaven and explain a little what happen and that she will be with him forever and then let him take it in. After that I would say take him out and spend the day with him b/c his questions and/or sadness may kick in later on in the day. When you put him to sleep ask him if he has any questions and let him know how much you and his sister loves him. You and your family are in my prayers.

Answer 10

This a very hard situation to discuss with your child. At his age he is vulnerable and ready to believe anything. Do not lie to him anymore, it will only make things worse he'll figure out that it was a lie when he gets older and start to lose trust in you. Come straight to him and tell him what happened to his sister in a way he can understand. If there are any problems with this method just e-mail me for more solutions.